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martina59 · Oct 5, 2009, 05:43 AM

:confused:
We have 2 cats, one sprays over the entire house (even on the stove & kitchen counter top) YUK... The other one is trying to be dominant, therefore that's why the first one is spraying (both have been neutered).

Recently, our 1 yr. old grandaughter was over, and the cat scratched her on her face. He has also scratched our other grandaughter, and a family friend. That was THE last straw for me, and we gave them to a friend who has a farm, and they are now barn cats.

The problem is, that hubby is really missing them, and grieving terribly. I'm upset that I put up with all of this for 6 years, and even though I have compassion for him in the loss, I'm feeling a little resentful that he made me go through this for so long. Was I too hard on wanting them gone??

JudyKayTee · Oct 5, 2009, 05:45 AM

If you are asking my opinion, yes. I don't know that you were "wrong" for giving them away if they were out of control and dangerous. I also don't know how one of them got that close to your Grandchild - my dogs (I do not have cats) are not familiar with children and so I keep them and children apart.

That having been said - these were house cats, indoors, protected, fed, presumably loved, and they are suddenly fighting to survive as barn cats.

That's where I see the cruelty and your mistake.

Sorry, I'm sure this is not what you want to hear.

I do see from your other posts that you have mentioned your cats before as well as problems with your children/grandchildren. You have been concerned about your peri-menopause symptoms and insecurities. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...ml#post1556890

Did any of this background cause you to give the cats away, influence your decision? I also don't understand - you did this without consulting with your husband?

martina59 · Oct 5, 2009, 06:19 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If you are asking my opinion, yes. I don't know that you were "wrong" for giving them away if they were out of control and dangerous. I also don't know how one of them got that close to your Grandchild - my dogs (I do not have cats) are not familiar with children and so I keep them and children apart.

That having been said - these were house cats, indoors, protected, fed, presumably loved, and they are suddenly fighting to survive as barn cats.

That's where I see the cruelty and your mistake.

Sorry, I'm sure this is not what you want to hear.

I do see from your other posts that you have mentioned your cats before as well as problems with your children/grandchildren. You have been concerned about your peri-menopause symptoms and insecurities. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...ml#post1556890

Did any of this background cause you to give the cats away, influence your decision? I also don't understand - you did this without consulting with your husband?

Oh heavens No... hubby agreed to the cats being given to a family friend. They are being fed so they won't have to "fend for themselves" with respect to food.

JudyKayTee · Oct 5, 2009, 07:30 AM

Originally Posted by martina59

Oh heavens No....hubby agreed to the cats being given to a family friend. They are being fed so they won't have to "fend for themselves" with respect to food.

Someone out there is feeding barn cats? Good to know - there was a lengthy post not too long ago about barn cats not getting Vet care, suddenly being responsible for catching/killing their own food, not being used to being outdoors and so forth.

Apparently some barn cats are treated better than others and that's good to know.

catwise · Oct 5, 2009, 09:24 PM

Many barn cats have wonderful lives, and I think you did the right thing. It sounds like the cats were not happy at your house, and I'll bet they're loving life in their new home. I do hope you won't get another cat though, although your husband misses the ones you had. It sounds like this isn't the right time to have animals in your life.