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Emily94 · Oct 22, 2006, 08:47 PM

My best friend(14) IS pregnant what can I do to help her? She isn't a goodie good and her mom won't let her get an ibortion what can I do to help her through?:confused: :confused:

wizzkid89 · Oct 22, 2006, 11:40 PM

Honestly, she needs to talk to someone. Try a counselor at school, or she could look for an unplanned pregnancy clinic, something of that nature that could offer your friend help. I am sure the school has things they can do for your friend when problems like this arise. I must say this she is way too young to have a baby, I won't tell her, however, whether to abort it. That is completely your friends deciscion. But I urge her to think about her choices wisely. No matter what choice she makes, you must tell the mother. Whether she plans to keep it or not, the mother should be informed. Because if she decides to keep it, she will be living with it in her house, and if she plans to abort it she needs her mother's consent because she is under 18. So please tell your friend to reach out someone, counselor, parent, guardian, that can help figure out the course of actions that need to be taken during this kind of situation.

JoeCanada76 · Oct 22, 2006, 11:51 PM

Be her friend. Be there to listen to her. To help her with anything she may need. I am happy to hear that her mother is Not allowing her to have an abortion.

Joe

gulez · Oct 23, 2006, 02:40 AM

Well... I feel bad for your friend... I hope everything turns out OK

ScottGem · Oct 23, 2006, 06:40 AM

As noted, just be there for her. You might consider organizing a baby shower (assuming she is keeping and not giving it up for adoption--which might be a better choice). Once the baby comes, offer to baby sit a few nites per month so she can get out. Help her with school work so she can finish school.

In other words, be a friend.

AKaeTrue · Oct 23, 2006, 09:57 AM

While helping your friend through this hard time, take this true story into consideration as an example that there is a preexisting plan for all of us. We are all, no matter what religion, exactly where we are supposed to be, doing what is to be done exactly as planned. Everyone we meet and every experience we have throughout our lives teaches us and prepares us for the future...
A troubled girl with promiscuous behaviors and a history of drug use becomes pregnant at the age of 16 years old. She pondered the idea of abortion, but opted to keep the baby with the help of her mother.
She cleaned up her act during her pregnancy and broke free from pier-pressure and bad influences. 9 months later, she gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl that she named Grace.
One week after Grace was born, she died unsuspected in her crib while sleeping. There was no apparent reason for this tragedy and the coroner labeled the cause of death as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome or "SIDS".
The girls mother was extremely concerned about her morning daughter and asked her how she was feeling...The girl answered,"God sent me a beautiful angel in the form of a baby to help me get my life together, to teach me how to love and be loved, how to respect myself and others, and to give me the strength and courage to live. Grace is Gods child and my angel, now that her job is complete, she has returned to her home with God. She is my angel and will always be with me."

brendae73 · Oct 27, 2006, 04:11 AM

Just be there for her, she will need a friend now more than ever!

deanky · Oct 28, 2006, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by Emily94

My best friend(14) IS pregnant what can i do to help her? She isnt a goodie good and her mom wont let her get an ibortion what can i do to help her through?:confused: :confused:

Just be there for her. See if you can get her to talk to the school counselor. Has she thought about adoption? There are many couples out there who can't have children & would love to give this baby a home. This is probably her best option. There are open adoptions where she can still be part of this baby's life if that's what she chooses. She needs to see this as a learning experience & make her life better.

mrshull2002 · Oct 28, 2006, 11:45 AM

Be her friend. That means respecting her wishes. If the father is not involved, don't be a go between. Pesuade her to read all she can about pregnancy/and childbirth. See if she would like for you to go to doctor visits if it is all right with your parents. Just be a true friend. Whatever she tells you in confidence, keep it that way, unless you have to talk to her parents about a safety issue. Realize that she is going to change, and a lot of things your other friends and you will be doing, the pregnancy will exclude her from. Above all, love her and remember what made you friends in the beginning!

sexyladyp · Nov 2, 2006, 02:39 PM

Be there for her help her listen to her be a shoulder to leen on. And you should take this into consideration make sure you proctect yourself when you are having sex don't make the same mistake. How old are u

Emily94 · Nov 3, 2006, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by sexyladyp

be there for her help her listen to her be a shoulder to leen on. and you should take this into consideration make sure you proctect yourself when you are having sex dont make the same mistake. how old are u

I am 12 but MAkaja is into drugs and has lots of bad habits she's been to rehab and thast hasn't helpedd but her boyfriend isn't letting her drop out of school

wizzkid89 · Nov 3, 2006, 03:51 PM

Your friend really shouldn't drop out of school, education although boring, reduntant, and maybe a bit overated, is still very important and vital to success. It would be best, in my opinion, if you try and contact someone to help your friend, a teacher, a counselor, an adult figure bascially that could help her through this tough time. Also now that she is pregnant, YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE SHE ISN'T DOING DRUGS. Drugs has such a bad affect on babies and she could really damage her child, that is why it is imperative that you seek help not only for the child but for your friend. The boyfriend, again in my opinion, is a bad influence and he should not be trying to convince her to drop out of school. I really think it would be best for this entire scenario if you brought these problems to the attention of an adult who can help your friend. There are places where young girls like your friend can live and have a baby, they are shelters, and they will support her and help her through her pregnancy. It would be best to see her in a shelter where she can get help, than where she is now, with a troubled boyfriend around and probably too easy of access to drugs to resist. In conclusion seek the help of a teacher, counselor, parent, just someone who can really help your friend. That is how you can really be a friend.

BabiMilokid · Nov 6, 2006, 10:33 PM

I personally have gone through this I had my first child at the age of 15 with a girl the age of 18. My parents knowing the parent of the 18 year old were very supporting, however a lot of my friends treated me different like an outcast or something. If I were you I'd just be her friend be helpful, don't constantly bring up the child unless she wants to, and last but not least try not to treat her too much different then before she got pregnant.

latashaperkins · Nov 7, 2006, 10:13 AM

All I can say is be there for her because being pregnant is tough as it is and for a 14 year old it has to be really hard

angie29ae · Nov 8, 2006, 06:38 PM

I agree with the advice everyone here has given you. I couldn't have put it any better myself... I believe that the best thing you can do now is be their for her and try to understand her, put yourself in her shoes you know? This is a very tough situation. I am 16 years old and I was also pregnant at 14. I had my baby by 15 and he is now 1 year and 2 months old. I love my son to death and I always put him before me or anything or anyone else. But it is tough, very tough but she has to be strong and deal with it if it is really what she wants. I think you should be their for her if you really love her and you really consider yourself her friend. The best way is letting her know your there for her and listening to her, having somebody listening to you when you are in such a situation really helps. I wish her the best luck and try to hang in their your friend needs you the most now. What state does your friend live in I can give you some advice and some good websites she can go on to learn more about her pregnancy. How many months is she? Motherhood is a beautifull experience and it's the best gift god can send any woman. Tell her to take really good care of herself. She will learn a lot from this and you should learn a lot more from it too. The pregnancy is the easy part, after the baby is born is when it really starts to get rough. I really wouldn't recommend an adoption unless she really has to or has no other choices. If she really wants an abortion then their isn't much her mom can do about it, she can't force her to keep the baby unless she's planning on taking care of her baby. This country gives out a lot help and support to teen mothers especially if she stays in school, It is the best choice she can make, not only to better her own future but to give her unborn child a bright future and something he/she can be proud of later on. The harder she works the better the results in her future.

cuppycake · Nov 9, 2006, 11:44 AM

You can't do anything expet make her feel happy. Why don't you both go to a spa and have nails and hair done or go pictures and restaurant. If she wants a abortion she should try talking to her mom about it. But tis could be a lesson to her and you to be safe and have it when your old enough!! It isn't even illegal to have it at 14 so that was her mistake. But you need to be there for her and Be a really good friend. Maybe buy her some chocolates to cheer her up a bit, 4 any further information call child line on 0800 1111 and see what they say good luck hun!xx

lovelesspa · Nov 12, 2006, 11:49 AM

The fact that your friend has you and your so soncerned that your reaching out for help shows me how lucky she is. There are are a lot of places you can go locally for assistance. Look in your phone book under pregnancy centers or teen pregnancy hotlines. This is totally overwhelming time for her, just be there and keep searching on line for centers that can help! Your truly a great friend, just stick by her... :p

lil_mandy · Jan 17, 2007, 02:47 PM

Your friend has tough times ahead of her as she is somebody so young, please don't think that I am being agest or that because I am not .Its just that your friend will need a lot of love and support both from her family and her friends like yourself , please do all you can just being there , being a friend to cry on , listen to her nagging or that, give her advice as best you can although she might not agree with it , but be there and that's all that you can do , I wish you both good luck and hope everything turns all right for your mate and you .

Synnen · Jan 17, 2007, 07:47 PM

Be her friend.

Don't judge her.

DO NOT IMPOSE YOUR MORALS ON HER IN ANY WAY.

Her body, her baby, her choice. If you really want to help her, listen when she talks about what she wants to do, and help her if you can (looking up clinics in phone books for exams, holding her hand when she goes to the doctor, etc). Refusing to judge her, and refusing to make her choice for her, and helping with the everyday stuff that can get so overwhelming is one of the best ways to be a friend that I can think of.

If you do suspect that she is on drugs, you need to report that to an adult that can help her. She might get mad at you, but you are doing it for her own good. It isn't tattling or ratting her out if she is harming herself.

I commend you on your maturity. It takes a lot of guts to try to help a friend when you feel lost on how to do it. I wish I had had a friend like you when I was pregnant as a teenager.

Emily94 · Jan 18, 2007, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by wizzkid89

Your friend really shouldn't drop out of school, education although boring, reduntant, and maybe a bit overated, is still very important and vital to success. It would be best, in my opinion, if you try and contact someone to help your friend, a teacher, a counselor, an adult figure bascially that could help her through this tough time. Also now that she is pregnant, YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE SHE ISN'T DOING DRUGS. Drugs has such a bad affect on babies and she could really damage her child, that is why it is imperative that you seek help not only for the child but for your friend. The boyfriend, again in my opinion, is a bad influence and he should not be trying to convince her to drop out of school. I really think it would be best for this entire scenario if you brought these problems to the attention of an adult who can help your friend. There are places where young girls like your friend can live and have a baby, they are shelters, and they will support her and help her through her pregnancy. It would be best to see her in a shelter where she can get help, than where she is now, with a troubled boyfriend around and probably too easy of access to drugs to resist. In conclusion seek the help of a teacher, counselor, parent, just someone who can really help your friend. That is how you can really be a friend.

I said he won't let her drop out!