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theothers · Oct 3, 2009, 09:59 PM

I have recently found myself attracted to a women who is married. Haven't had many encounters with her( maybe 3 or 4 ), but i find her very smart and sweet. I am 27 and she is 30, she is unhappy in her marriage. What is the best way to proceed ?

mammahomedoc · Oct 3, 2009, 10:05 PM

Please do not get involved with a married person. Regardless of whether the person may be unhappy or not, it takes two people to make or break a marriage. I know from personnal experience that getting involved in someone else's marriage you always will end up hurt and the other person does as well. There is always to sides to every story. Your best bet is to make tracks in the other direction. Your just asking for trouble otherwise.

amIwrong · Oct 3, 2009, 10:33 PM

I agree with mammahomedoc, maybe your attracted to the unattainable or like the idea of a challenge, or even drama. Perhaps you just really like this person, but, have you ever been burned really badly from a relationship? Imagine that all over again, plus a bunch of drama.

amicon · Oct 4, 2009, 04:36 AM

Married=off limits.

jmjoseph · Oct 4, 2009, 05:06 AM

Originally Posted by theothers

i HAVE RECENTLY FOUND MYSELF ATTRACTED TO A WOMEN WHO IS MARRIED. HAVENT HAD MANY ENCOUNTERS WITH HER( MAYBE 3 OR 4 ), BUT I FIND HER VERY SMART AND SWEET. I AM 27 AND SHE IS 30, SHE IS UNHAPPY IN HER MARRIAGE. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO PROCEED ?

Let me ask you a question. How would YOU like it if you were married, and some guy came along and tried to steal YOUR wife away from YOU?

IF she's not happy in her marriage, that none of your business. She is married to some other guy. And whatever happens in their lives, is not your concern.

Guys like you get shot, stabbed, beaten, run over by cars, etc. by jealous husbands every day.

The world is full of women that are NOT married. Go find one of your own.

So make your last encounter with her just that, the LAST.

If not, you better hire a bodyguard.

theothers · Oct 4, 2009, 06:27 AM

Thank you all for your input,
I seem to have shared the same opinion with most of you until I started getting this weird unintentional attraction. This attraction is nothing sexual, its just that I find the conversation hyperkinetic.

mudweiser · Oct 4, 2009, 06:47 AM

It's okay to be attracted to married women, heck fantasize all you want-- but do not follow through or make a move. As others have told you she is married so that make her off limits, at one point in time she was in love with the man she married and she made vows to him. If her marriage was truly an unhappy one where she was unsatisfied she would've divorced him or at the very least separated from him, truth is she hasn't, she still lives with her husband and sleeps in the same bed as him.

Besides, seeing married women is messy and will cause drama in your life-- why have drama? The only drama I think there should be in your life is when your out of toilet paper after you just passed last night's mexican dinner.

Anyway, that's my opinion.

I don't see anything wrong with making conversation with a married person, heck talk all you want just keep the conversation appropriate. No talking about:
-How it would be like to have sex with each other
-How the other might look naked
-Running away together
... just anything like that. Talk as if the husband were right there.

Sarah

I wish · Oct 4, 2009, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by theothers

This attraction is nothing sexual, its just that i find the conversation hyperkinetic.

If that's how you feel, then stop talking to her so that you don't add to the confusion. Stay away from her until your feelings for her have disappeared.

Nor matter how you look at it, whether she's happy or unhappy with her marriage: Married = Off-limits

DerelictHerds · Oct 4, 2009, 09:01 AM

Don't proceed.

Wouldn't want to be a homewrecker would you?

theothers · Oct 4, 2009, 11:06 AM

No never , I hate home wrecker. But there is a famous saying :"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
So I am a little confused for the moment.

DerelictHerds · Oct 4, 2009, 11:12 AM

I wouldn't consider it fun

amicon · Oct 4, 2009, 11:13 AM

Sorry but if you bend the rules you re likely to regret it.

redhed35 · Oct 4, 2009, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by theothers

No never , i hate home wrecker. but there is a famous saying :"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
So i am a little confused for the moment.

Perhaps your confusing scrabble with engaging a married woman to cheat...

I can assure you,persueing a relationship with this woman will cause a lot of hurt.. have you tried dating? That's fun...

Cat1864 · Oct 4, 2009, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by theothers

No never , i hate home wrecker. but there is a famous saying :"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
So i am a little confused for the moment.

You hate the thought of being called a "home wrecker". How about her being called a cheater or worse?

If you break the rules, you are a "cheater". Another old saying is that "Cheaters never win". It goes beyond the end of the game into the honor of those playing.

If you respect her, you will respect her honor, if not your own, and forget about this relationship.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 4, 2009, 01:10 PM

Once the term married comes into play, you suggest her and her husband get marriage counseling, you suggest they talk over their issues and you move on to someone who is single.

ohsohappy · Oct 4, 2009, 01:45 PM

Please do not behave like an idiot. You already know the answer to this question. It's a question of morality. Are you going to stick to morals or go off pleaseure seeking and bend the rules for a bit of "fun?"
If you did that, what kind of person do you think it would make you?
Would you be happy with yourself?

theothers · Oct 4, 2009, 07:21 PM

I mean all I am trying to do is to add something good to her life. We have things in common, and today I found out (read) that one of her favorite things to do is something am very passionate about. :(

DerelictHerds · Oct 4, 2009, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by theothers

I mean all i am trying to do is to add something good to her life. we have things in common, and today i found out (read) that one of her favorite things to do is something am very passionate about. :(

I'm sure she's not the only one out there you can relate to in that way. AND IS AVAILABLE AS WELL.

Cat1864 · Oct 4, 2009, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by theothers

I mean all i am trying to do is to add something good to her life. we have things in common, and today i found out (read) that one of her favorite things to do is something am very passionate about. :(

The concern here is that if she is unhappy in her marriage, it might be tempting to her to take advantage of your attraction. Another concern is that your attraction might continue to grow into something stronger and overwhelm your good intentions.

It is something that you shouldn't take a chance on.

ohsohappy · Oct 4, 2009, 07:39 PM

Leave this poor woman alone, really. She's already having complications in her marriage, don't add to them because you think you're doing her a favor. Trust me, you won't be. You'll be contributing more by leaving her alone than you ever could trying to "help" her.
Back off.