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itsamor · Oct 4, 2009, 02:06 AM

I'm sick of having nothing, I'm sick of being a nobody, I'm sick of everyone hating me for no reason, I'm sick of giving myself to others and them screwing me over,I'm sick of abuse,I'm sick of being ugly and looking in the mirror and crying cause I hate myself. I'm sick of popping sleeping pills to sleep all day cause I can't bare reality anymore and it's the closest thing to being dead. I'm sick of no one understanding, I'm sick of being broke and being stuck in this town,I'm sick of loving someone that does nothing but hurts me over and over,I'm sick of being belittled,I'm sick of worrying about a non existent future,I'm sick of being alone,I'm sick of not having a gun and some bullets to blow my f***ing brains out and ending this all.

How come the doctors,how come the therapist.. the shrinks.. the meds can't help me? I'm too far gone. I don't know what to do.

Clough · Oct 4, 2009, 02:17 AM

You know what, itsamor?

How about getting a good nights sleep to start?

Really, about the only one that you've got here is me, and I need to get to bed!

My suggestion is that you might want to consider doing that too!

Everyone has problems...

How you face them is part of what determines the kind of person you are as viewed by others, and how you'll be able to face a new day everyday. Potential employers, friends, relatives, co-workers, etc.

Repeat: How you face them is part of what determines the kind of person you are as viewed by others, and how you'll be able to face a new day everyday. Potential employers, friends, relatives, co-workers, etc.

Please think about that...

Thanks!

Clough · Oct 4, 2009, 02:27 AM

How you face them is part of what determines the kind of person you are as viewed by others...

I will add now,

Even by YOU!

YOU be the judge and think about these things, please!

Good Night!

firmbeliever · Oct 4, 2009, 05:38 AM

itsamor,
Maybe you have a full plate at the moment, too much to deal with but almost all of us have had those moments one time or another, not the wanting to end our life, but seeing no end to problems.

I think it is up to you to decide how you will take care of things. You cannot control other people's thoughts or actions, but you can change how you view things and how you deal with them.

I hope you find something that you like to do, something that does not make you want to end your life.

You might also want to consider that the pills you are on are adding to these moods.

jmjoseph · Oct 4, 2009, 06:16 AM

If that's you in the picture on your avatar, you're not ugly, but quite pretty. As far as all the other things that are going on in your life. We all have our own bag of rocks to carry. Life goes on, and you may not understand now, but they will get better. Please keep going to counseling, or to a doctor, as they know what's best for you. I wish you the best.

itsamor · Oct 4, 2009, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

If that's you in the picture on your avatar, you're not ugly, but quite pretty. As far as all the other things that are going on in your life. We all have our own bag of rocks to carry. Life goes on, and you may not understand now, but they will get better. Please keep going to counseling, or to a doctor, as they know what's best for you. I wish you the best.

Thank you:o

Fr_Chuck · Oct 4, 2009, 06:57 PM

First we have to understand that there are many things in life we can't control, one of them is how other people react. We can separate ourself from those hat hurt us, merely move and stop contact with those that hurt us.

Gemini54 · Oct 5, 2009, 03:31 AM

How come the doctors, how come the therapist.. the shrinks.. the meds can't help me?

Because you have to help yourself. The difficult things that you describe are all choices that you've made:

I'm sick of having nothing
I'm sick of being a nobody
I'm sick of everyone hating me for no reason
I'm sick of giving myself to others and them screwing me over
I'm sick of abuse
I'm sick of being ugly and looking in the mirror and crying cause I hate myself.
I'm sick of popping sleeping pills to sleep all day cause I can't bear reality
I'm sick of no-one understanding
I'm sick of being broke and being stuck in this town
I'm sick of loving someone that does nothing but hurts me over and over
I'm sick of being belittled
I'm sick of worrying about a non existent future
I'm sick of being alone

Instead of all those negative choices, what if you were to say:

I have everything I want
I am someone
I am liked by the people that matter to me
I give myself to others and they treat me well
I accept myself as I am
I like myself
I enjoy the life that I have
I am understood
I have enough money to do what I want
I love and it is returned
I have a secure future
I am happy being on my own

Feelings can't be changed unless you change your thoughts. In order to change your thoughts you need to choose to perceive things differently.

You're alive, you're healthy, you don't look disfigured, you're young and you have enormous potential to do whatever you choose. Choose to be grateful for the things that you have - so many people have so much less than you - in every way.

You don't need to be a victim to your feelings and thoughts and to feel so unhappy. Change is possible - it's just a matter of choice.

itsamor · Oct 5, 2009, 05:51 AM

Noo I don't choose for my whole town to hate me for no reason no matter how I nice I am. I haven't chose any of that. You my friend are just living in a fantasy world where if you believe something it comes true. But that's not reality. Or else we'd all be millionaires with our soulmates and nobody would ever be raped or murdered etc...

Gemini54 · Oct 5, 2009, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by itsamor

Noo i dont choose for my whole town to hate me for no reason no matter how i nice i am. I havent chose any of that. You my friend are just living in a fantasy world where if you believe something it comes true. But thats not reality. or else we'd all be millionaires with our soulmates and nobody would ever be raped or murdered ect...

Rubbish. Thoughts are powerful. Are you saying that you have no control over what you think, and that what you think does not affect what you feel?

Open your eyes and see the world. What you see through your own eyes is what you create. Believe me, if you say, 'I hate myself and I am no good' for long enough, then soon everyone else will believe it as well. Why wouldn't they believe it? You do.

Wondergirl · Oct 5, 2009, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by itsamor

Noo i dont choose for my whole town to hate me for no reason

You haven't chosen for the whole town to hate you, but you've admitted that you have chosen the hair and makeup and behavior and attitudes that turn people off because you want to be yourself and be an individual. Well, maybe it's time to make better choices. Wipe off the makeup and look healthy and natural like you used to, go back to your real hair color, tone down the behavior and attitudes so that you treat people with kindness instead of with sarcasm.

summer7 · Oct 5, 2009, 06:25 PM

Hi Sweety,
Keep hanging on. Don't lose hope. Your story touches me.You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You have a lot of friends here. It is good that you are writing out your feelings here.

Good luck!

summer7 · Oct 5, 2009, 06:46 PM

Hi again,

See if your doctor can recommend a woman's shelter that offers assistance with drug dependency, if you are about to be homeless. There are places you can go and get help from very caring professionals and perhaps get some medications. A therapist can assist with this.

Take care...

Gemini54 · Oct 5, 2009, 07:13 PM

See other post by the OP..

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...om-403027.html

Clough · Oct 5, 2009, 08:55 PM

Hi again, itsamor!

So, are you going to continue to post on this thread and also respond to those here who've given of there time to repond to your original post?

It's best not to keep posting other questions about the same issues...

Thanks!

Maggie 3 · Oct 5, 2009, 09:32 PM

Renew your mind by changing your thought pattern. Fear, anger, criticism and all such thoughts are the most expensive guest we can entertain. They bring a harvest of proverty, misery and discord. There is no need to fear anything for we carry the
Indwelling power to overcome everything, It's our mind. When we repeat affirmations, we
Are impressing our subcomscious mind with a new thought pattern as a basis for a
New character you can build for yourself. Say this affirmation when a bad thought comes into your mind, also learn it and say it as offen as you can. Memorize it.

"I AM HEALTHY, STRONG, YOUNG, POWERFUL, LOVING, HARMONIOUS, SUCCESSFUL,
and HAPPY"

When you repeat this affirmation, you are impressing your subconscious mind with thoes
Qualitiess as a basis for a new character you can build for yourself . We are creatures of habit in both mind and body, so when we start in to change habits of thought we must be ever on gu ard for when we seek to change ourself in any way it seems as though everything goes against us so we can experience some difficulty. So don't give up.
Keep repeating the affirmation, and believe them for yourself, and don't go back to your old way of thinking. This good thinking patern can be part of you that can bring you health and happness.

Think Good Thoughts, Maggie 3