[TheNinja]

So there's this girl, I've known her for a year (year and a half) and we both know almost everything about each other.

We have absolutely no problem talking to each other, and she always comes to me and talks to me if she has a problem. She always yells my name when she sees me in public. She always smiles when she's around me. We both always have a great time.Not to mention we have a long list of things in common.

A week or two ago she had heard (or figured out/thought) that I liked her, and when I confessed I told her I did like her *we don't use the word love often, it's complicated* and I didn't want to ruin her relationship she was in now with this other guy. We talked for two hours about the subject, I explained everything I felt for her, and she told me that she was "confused, happy, blissful, probably wont be able to sleep" and I may be studying to be a psychologist but I'm daft when it comes to love affairs of my own. That was late one night. The next day I see her at my school things were a bit quiet, though we did talk it wasn't as extreme. I think we were both in shock of what happened.

The next day I saw her sitting next to her boyfriend.

Now for the details on this guy, she lost her virginity to him, so he's technically her 'first', But he is fairly controlling. He tells her not to be friends with me, tells her not to flirt with guys, when at the same time he's texting girls saying things like "what are you wearing?" "oh that's sexy" and it agitates me.

They've been in a couple fights and she's always come to me for advice, and I've always given her the best advice I could. I wouldn't ruin their relationship over my love for her or my greed.

Back to where I was. I saw her sitting next to her boyfriend, so I walked away and sat down, thinking, feeling depressed, like something was taken from me. Then I saw her walking in the hallway with him, holding hands. It seems like a really stale relationship to me, but I don't know. We haven't talked about it for a week now and I'm probably going to call her up and tell her to do what she feels best is for her, even if I do get hurt in the process.

My question is, Will she choose me, or him?

And What should I do in this situation?

Thanks for responding if you do, I appreciate it.

[TheNinja]

We are Best Friends if that changes anything.

[amIwrong]

She won't leave him. I mean, not to sound negative, but, you want an answer? Maybe you are seeing what you want to see... maybe she cares and maybe not... but she is with him. What you are asking is, is it right, and the answer is no. Maybe I am wrong and for your sake I hope that I am, but, you should prepare for the worst. Oxytocins vs. Co-Dependency

[Gemini54]

She's with someone else. Regardless of how you feel, that's for her to work out.

It sounds like you are good friends and that she trusted you enough to confide in you. Now you've declared your 'love' for her and she's probably uncertain. It changes the dynamics completely - for both of you.

The upshot is - she's taken. She may express discontent in her relationship, but this may mean she's just emoting. It doesn't mean that she wants to leave him.

I don't know who she will choose, but you may well have blown the friendship and any potential relationship by not respecting her boundaries.

I'd back off, you've told her how you feel, leave the ball in her court for a while.

[Annonimus]

You seem like a really nice guy, if I was you I'd keep fighting for her. I know what it's like to be in a controlling relationship and I tell you after a year and two months of it she's going to end up feeling like utta .
He's just going to hurt her, bitrade her + lie to her.
He's no good for her but the only way she's going to learn is if she finds out what he's like for herself.

The lad I was with I finished him about 3 and a half weeks ago, I feel much better, I'd never go back to him. Yes I miss him and I still love him but that's going to fade.
He used to push me around, he's cheated and lied more than serval times.

Just be there for her when everything goes BOOM, don't fall out with her if she goes back to him after he cheats or something.
My mum and all my family banned me from seeing him, and in the end we still got back together because I told my mum if she didn't let me see him again then she would never see me.
Everything worked out and in the end I knew it was over for good, so I finished him. He's had two girlfriends in 3weeks.
I just feel sorry for them.

Goodluck xx