Check out some similar questions!

punchxcore · Sep 30, 2009, 05:27 PM

So I've started seeing a guy; we went on our first date last weekend. He took me to Putt Putt and then to Texas Roadhouse. It's been the first date in a while where it's been mutual on both sides. Usually, I tend to like a guy and they don't feel the same about me and vice versa. He lives 2 1/2 hours away, so I can't just see him whenever, though I am not against the idea of a long distance relationship. Anyway, my birthday is this weekend and I was going to go and see him, but then he told me he didn't want me wasting money I didn't have. I told him I didn't have any issue with going to see him and I did have *some* money. In the end he said that he would come down here and asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday.

Anyway, he confessed to me last night that he had went on 4 dates in the past week, not including the one with me. It's to be expected that they are going to date around and see what there is, but I've never a guy openly tell me they have been on other dates. I just assume they have. It made me feel a little uneasy. I asked what happened with those dates and he said he just wasn't interested. I asked if he had any other dates planned and he said not at the moment. I guess he's been on around 60 "dates" this entire year. He said some days he would go for lunch with one person and then go to dinner with another.

I'm not looking to hop into a relationship with him right away or anything, but I do like him and he said he does like me, and I am trying to take it day by day. But I obviously want to capture his interest more than any other girls might. Part of me wishes he would had never told me he'd been on other dates in the past week. I can speculate he'd probably been on other dates, but to actually be told he had been, it's like a blow to the ego in a way. Though I am glad he was being honest about it. To me that shows character and not like he's trying to shady about it.

Could I do anything to make myself more appealing or to hold his interest over other girls?

HellHound82 · Oct 1, 2009, 05:20 AM

Don't try too hard to get his attention or you will seem too easy and he will move on... just be you

kctiger · Oct 1, 2009, 06:08 AM

Well, to be honest, as a guy if I go on a date with a girl that I firmly like, I probably won't go on four more dates. The reason? Because most often on a date the guys have to pay for the dinner/lunch and other events. It is just protocol. I would not be buying four other people food if I already spent money on a person I have a clear interest in.

60 dates is a LOT of dates to go on in a year. You would think by then one girl would have at least peaked his interest. I can't speak for every guy, but I like a girl who is sure of herself and plays somewhat hard to get, but also shows interest in me as well, thus not playing too hard to get.

I guess the good thing was that he was honest with you. Had that been me I wouldn't have told you about that, but if I had no interest in you I can guarantee you I wouldn't drive 2 1/2 hours to see you either, birthday or not. Just relax and be cautious to read any signs you may pick up from him.

ZoeMarie · Oct 1, 2009, 06:16 AM

As KC said, at least he was honest with you. All you can do is be yourself, if he doesn't like it then he doesn't like you. There's no sense in trying to be different. How long would you keep that act up after you're in a committed relationship? And then the person isn't even attracted to the real you.

I wish · Oct 1, 2009, 06:37 AM

Sounds like he interested enough to at least get to know you better, so why don't you focus on that part only. Spend more time talking and enjoying each other's company and see where that leads.

You don't need to force anything (i.e. make yourself more appealing). You just need time to let things flow. These things happen naturally.

punchxcore · Oct 1, 2009, 09:27 AM

Well I wasn't particularly meaning changing myself. But more so if there's anything that stands out when guys are dating around and maybe one stands out among the rest.

I also don't know if all the other people he had met were actual dates. I've met people to where we just hung out, and we grabbed lunch or dinner but paid for our own self. I'm not sure how many of those were actual dates. It does seem like a lot, but I, myself, have probably met/hung out with around 20-30 or so people this year.

kctiger · Oct 1, 2009, 09:29 AM

As a guy I like a woman who is sure of herself and doesn't try and catch my attention (in a completely blatant way). Just be confident and remain smooth and calm no matter way. Self confidence works for both guys and girls.