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DB1014 · Sep 28, 2009, 11:41 AM

My ex husband is about 8 months behind in child support. Every time he is called to court her pays $100 to stay out of jail. The last time him and I went to court for visitation I told him I did not want my daughter to sleep at his father's house. I found things that he does w/ my daughter very disturbing. Come to find out every time he would pick my daughter up he would tell her he has to go to work and she would have to sleep at Pop-Pop's. He does not even have a job!! He then tell my daughter to lie to me and to tell me she did not sleep at his house. Thank god my daughter can not keep at secret from me. He does not even spend anytime w/ her while she is there. He is an ex herion addict and have been told by serveral people he is smoking pot and doing herion again. I'm sick of not being able to protect my daughter and having to sit around waiting for something to happen before something is done! He never calls her to see how school or sports are going or even help pay for school clothes or sports fees. I am engaged to a wonderful man that my daughter wishes was her dad. How can I get this deadbeat out of my life? I am sick to my stomach that they give these deadbeats so many chances before anything is done.

excon · Sep 28, 2009, 11:59 AM

Hello DB:

Get married, and have your new husband adopt your daughter... The father should go along because he won't have to pay child support any longer. He'll still be obligated for his arrears, though.

excon

DB1014 · Sep 28, 2009, 12:10 PM

I am getting married in November. My ex will not give up his rights, because he knows that is what I want. He also will not give up his rights because his father will not allow him to. I have tried everything even being nice to him. I haven't sent her there because I feel and know that she is not in a safe place.

stevetcg · Sep 28, 2009, 12:27 PM

Then your only choice is to work the system. Get back to court and request a change of custody. Request supervised visitation or visitation at your home. Stay on CSE to get his back support paid. During the hearing, request drug testing.

Its going to be awfully hard to have his rights terminated against his will without your daughter being hurt or criminally neglected by him.

DB1014 · Sep 28, 2009, 12:36 PM

I have been working the system for 4 years now. My daughter is 6 years old. I left him when she was a year because of his drug use and I even gave him 2 years to get his crap together before making him pay. In his 4 years of paying his as never been on time w/ his payments and the courts have done nothing to him!

stevetcg · Sep 28, 2009, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by DB1014

I have been working the system for 4 years now. My daughter is 6 years old. I left him when she was a year because of his drug use and I even gave him 2 years to get his crap together before making him pay. In his 4 years of paying his as never been on time w/ his payments and the courts have done nothing to him!

I would get a lawyer and file for a change of visitation. If he is abusing his visitation the court deserves to be able to rule on exactly what is going on.

DB1014 · Sep 28, 2009, 03:44 PM

If I could afford a lawyer, I would have done that already. Legal Aid in my county does not do Family Law. Thank you for you advice though.

excon · Sep 28, 2009, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by DB1014

My ex husband is about 8 months behind in child support.

Hello again, DB:

I don't know how much your deadbeat ex owes, and I don't know how much it's worth it to you to get paid and have him out of your life... But, I'll bet hiring a lawyer would be CHEAPER.

excon

ScottGem · Sep 28, 2009, 03:56 PM

What does the judge say? Have you filed motions for supervised visitation? If they have been denied, on what grounds? Have you had CSEA do a surprise visit at Pop-Pop's?

Have you kept a journal of all the violations and missed payments, etc?