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New Member
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Sep 25, 2009, 09:10 AM
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I love my girlfriend and don't want to loose her
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for the past 5 months. But last month I went to college in South Carolina and she is in Connecticut. We trust each other but we always seem to get mad at each other when one of us goes to a party. Its not that I am overprotective, I just don't want her to be in a position where she will do something stupid. I can honestly say we love each other, but lately we have been fading. I don't want to loose this girl, but she says she needs time to think. So we went on a "break" but we kept talking. We text a lot and skype, but she always seems to not want anything to do with me. ITs always one word texts but when we skype and see each other everything seems fine. I finally can hold her again in 2 weeks. I just want us to last until I can do that again, because I love her more than anything... someone please let meknow how I can make it work if she needs time away from me but I need her.
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New Member
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Sep 25, 2009, 09:17 AM
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If you trust each other why go mad if one of you goes to a party? You come across as quite a jealous insecure person.
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Expert
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Sep 25, 2009, 09:19 AM
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Gee guy, your so needy, and need to realize you can't control what she does, so how about relaxing, and trusting her. You are acting like her dad, and its hard enough being away from each other so much, but to try, and control from afar? That's too much, so stop doing it.
If its not to late. Be a partner, and not a parent.
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Family & People Expert
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Sep 25, 2009, 10:07 AM
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I can't figure out whether you have trusting issues or needy issues. Maybe it's a bit of both.
1) You need to learn to be independent and do your own thing. You have your life and she has hers. You can't tell her what to do, just like how she can't tell you what to do. Live your own lives and share happy moments together.
2) As for the trusting issue, if you can't trust her, then there's no relationship (see my signature).
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Ultra Member
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Sep 25, 2009, 10:47 AM
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Honestly I feel that you are contradicting yourself; you claim that the two of you trust each other, but at the same time both of you'll get mad if the other goes to a party alone.
You also add by saying that you don't want her to go to a party alone because you're sacred she'll do something stupid. (my interpretation! Your words were that you don't want her do be in a position where she'll do something stupid)
Do you see my point about the contradiction?
So lets say that this is the ground floor of your relationship; trust.
First of the two of you are now in a long distant relationship (LDR), this can be hard for any couple! Especially if trust and over protectiveness is an issue!
It does seem as if you have found some nice ways of communicating despite the LDR though; skype is an excellent way!
Did she ask you for a break before or after you left for school?
A break is a break; which often entails that you speak less with each other and you have less contact, The person who is asked for a break (you) needs to give the person asking for a break (her) a little room to breath... so all you can really do is sit back and take a breather and try to relax more.
I do have some questions for you that I hpe you will answer, so that I can give more specific advice and not just advice out of a hunch;
1.you have been seeing each other for 5 months, have there been a lot of fights/arguments over these past 5 months?
2.Has she complained about your over protectiveness?
3. Has she told you why she wants a break?
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