Check out some similar questions!

princess_emily · Sep 22, 2009, 07:44 AM

I am 27 and about 8 weeks pregnant. This is a totally unplanned event as my partner and I were broken up when I found out I am pregnant.
Now I am so torn about what to do. A large part of me does not want to continue with the pregancy. Im not in love with him. He is not in love with me. He wants me to have it because it's the right thing to do. But bringing a baby into an unstable home does not seem right to me. I can't imagine raising the baby on my own which I believe would happen sooner or later.
He has been out drinking every weekend since I told him. He isn't here for me emotionally. Doesn't understand or even try to understand how I feel about all of this. Just goes on about how all of this is effecting his life. He's making me so frustrated.
There have been complications with the pregnancy. Im in a lot of pain (physically and emotionally). Haven't told family and don't plan to. Also only one friend knows.
Can someone please offer some guidance. Thank you.

princess_emily · Sep 22, 2009, 07:47 AM

Also we have only known each other for 4 months. Not very long.

aoblia · Sep 22, 2009, 07:51 AM

I would think about your options very closely. It is the right thing to do in having the baby in "GOD's" eyes but you have to think this is for eternity and forever. He will never be out of your life from this point if that's the decision you choose to make. I would think long and hard about your future and like you indicated what kind of future the baby actually will have. Can you make it alone?

unaffected · Sep 22, 2009, 09:26 AM

You say a large part of you doesn't want to continue with the pregnancy, but obviously you are torn on that decision, otherwise you would not be posting here.

Have you thought about having the baby and putting him or her up for adoption? It sounds as if you are worried about raising the baby on your own, and it also sounds as if you aren't even sure that you are ready or want to be a parent.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever decisions you make. It would probably be easier if you had the support of those closest to you, but there must be a reason you do not want to tell your family.

kayasmommy4109 · Sep 22, 2009, 10:16 AM

I am in some what of the same situation.. but I just had a baby and now I am about 7 weeks w an unwanted pregnancy if you want to chat maybe we can support each other.

Justwantfair · Sep 22, 2009, 10:24 AM

Pregnancy Options - Unplanned Pregnancy Support - Choosing Parenting, Adoption, or Abortion

Fr_Chuck · Sep 22, 2009, 10:28 AM

Having the baby has nothing to do with "him" your relationship with him or how long you have known him.

What this is about now is the baby, nothing more , nothing less. Raising a child as a single parent is not easy but it can be done, and it has to do with the love for the child, not the other parent. ( I have been a single father twice )

There are many options and 1000's of great homes that would love a infant if you don't wish to raise the child.

princess_emily · Sep 22, 2009, 11:01 AM

Thank you all for your responses.
I have not told my family because I have a large family and there will be pressure I don't need and honestly can't handle right now. There is also a lot of medical issues flaring up in my family right now and I can't bare to add to that stress.
Carrying to term and giving the baby to someone else is not something I feel I can do. I live in a small town.
My partner says he doesn't want me to have the child unless we will be together to raise it. So there's also that pressure.
Financially I could not raise a child on my own. Between student loans, my rent, my car, and life, I am doing well to support myself.
I know this is my decision and I have to live with the consequences of which ever path I choose. I just wish the right path would come clearly to me.

DoulaLC · Sep 22, 2009, 11:34 AM

Keep in the mind that there is a great deal of aid available to single mothers. You certainly wouldn't be the first, nor the last, woman to raise a child on your own when you couldn't see how it would be managed at the time.
Would you have any family support? Even if just from a few of them? What about help from any friends?
If staying in the relationship is not going to be a great idea, than certainly don't let having a baby together cause you to remain with him. YOU are the one who makes the decision on what to do. Whether you remain together or not he will have to offer up some financial support as well.
You have options still at this point. Consider all carefully and decide what would be best for your situation. Do remember that situations change... and what your life is like right now could be very different in 6 months, a year, two years, etc..

Just a side note... my stepdaughter became pregnant in a similar situation... someone she was dating for just a few months. They were not in it for the long term and broke up soon afterwards. She went on to keep her baby and when her daughter was about 3 months old, she met a wonderful man who she has been with for the last 7 years.

You never know what path your life will take sometimes.