[tirednhurt86]

Heyy

I decided to ask this question about my friends situation because I really was wondering what other people thought. I am going through a similar experience as most of you know so I know only my point of view- I'm just wondering what other feedback I can get for her... here goes...

My friend was with her boyfriend for 5 years. From 16-21. They were very very close, and both mostly have only mutual friends. They didn't fight much, and seemed to be fine. The other night he came to her house, and broke up with her- he said he needed space, she was too clingy and that he wanted to go to counseling and figure out his life- he might want to be with her again in time, but he might not so she shouldn't wait around.he told her this will not be a short separation. His uncle died like the night before all this ( they weren't close tho) and his sister is engaged- so my friend thinks he's depressed. It seems to me that he isn't going to come back- and my friend is basically in limbo- he returned her keys and stuff in case he doesn't come back. She is a mess -as can be expected. I am doing all I can since I am going through a similar breakup situation, but I just want some opinions- is it possible he will come back or is this something he is telling her? What can I do to help her to forget him for now and to kind of let go so she isn't waiting around?

Thanks!

[Skell]

It is a possibility but a very slim one in my opinion and something I certainly wouldn't be impressing on her.
I think you need to be as comforting as you can but try and help her understand that it is over. He is gone and isn't coming back.

No begging, crying, pleading, letters etc form her is going to get him back either. It is hard for her because she feels like she has no closure or is in limbo, but that he wants out and that is exactly what he'll get.

She can't be lead to believe that he is coming back because I don't think he will. And even if he did chances are it wouldn't work again.

Now is the time for you to give her all the advice and stuff you have learnt here about moving on. How she can help herself. How she can deal with the clinginess that he described to her.

You know what's best now and I think you owe it to your friend to be honest to her.

Be there for her but she needs to begin to face facts. The more quick she can the easier she will begin grieving process and ultimately the healing.