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    BettyBoop75's Avatar
    BettyBoop75 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Sep 20, 2009, 06:26 AM
    My boyfriend won't have sex with me
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years... He has a very busy job and I'm tired of the excuse "im stressed". I am so in love with him and have never felt this way about anyone.. When we first met he wasn't very good in the sack.. It is a very hard subject for me but I have gotten better about bringing it up to him.. He says he loves me does anything in the world for me and is a huge cuddler... I have always initiated sex from the get go... Recently I caught him hanging with his x girlfriend... Huge fight broke out and he says he will never do it again.. He swore on my heart he didn't do anything with her.. Since this all went down were still not having sex... I always pleased him and I never got anything out of it.. He only has pleased me twice in the past 1.5 years and I did all the work.. Im sick of not being intimate with him.. I want this to work more than anything.. He just gets really mad when I bring it up... Im so frustrated.. I haven't eaten in 7 days and the stress is getting to me.. I am a pretty girl and take very good care of my body.. We are both 33 years old... He has the life of Riley and I feel like I'm just going down... I don't know how life would be without him but I want love and affection from him so bad.. :(
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    Sep 20, 2009, 08:25 AM

    It sounds like you two are sexually incompatible. Either you need to accept things as they are or break up. He is not going to change.
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #3

    Sep 20, 2009, 08:29 AM
    He sounds selfish.

    I don't for a minute believe that he didn't have sex with the other woman.

    Go find someone who will treat you right.

    Go eat. Take care of yourself.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
    		  
    #4

    Sep 20, 2009, 08:33 AM
    First thing is to examine how you "discuss" the issue. Communication especially about very intimate concerns should be with no anger, blame, loud voices, etc. Remember to listen as well as talk.

    Second, you say he wasn't a very good lover when you met him, could he be self-conscious or afraid of not pleasing you if he does initiate? For some people, it can take a long time to gain self-confidence in their performance.

    Third, Some men have very low sex drives to begin with that other factors like stress, weight, diet, etc. can reduce even farther.
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