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    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #1

    Sep 19, 2009, 07:55 PM
    Have you ever had this said to you? "I love you, BUT"
    I love you. . but

    There are so many problems with this statement.
    I'll start with the biggest one

    1) The word BUT. This word, coming after I love you, means that the "I love you" Just isn't enough. When an ex, or a partner breaks up with you and says "I love you, but (insert one liner here)" It's just the same as saying "I love you, but I do not want to be with you"

    2) The "I love you" If you're going to say "I love you" so someone, DO NOT do it if you are breaking up with them. Whether you believe it's true or not, It's clearly not enough for you to work on the relationship. It also gives false hope that the relationship can be restored, when chances are, there isn't.

    3) It's the easy way. If a partner says this you when they end the relationship, they're trying to make it easier for you. Unfortunately, It's the easiest way for them to end it. It goes back to the point that I made earlier about them giving you false hope. They might not even realize that they're doing it, but they're being cruel

    I've read SO many posts that say "he says he loves me but. . ." or "she says she loves me but" and they all end up pretty much the same way. These relationships, most often stay ended. When that giant BUT comes along after an "I love you", especially during an argument or a break- up. Chances are, that it's over.

    My point to you is this,
    Don't hang on to false hope that the relationship can be revived because they said "I love you" the BUT, in this instance, means a thousand times more. If you have heard these words, and you are still hanging on to a one-sided relationship, then you should let go. There are 6.4 BILLION people in this world, you haven't even begun to meet them all. Don't hang on to the one who isn't willing to be a part of your life.


    Also, If you have ever said this to someone in the past, take this advice, and do not use this line again. It really does more harm in the long run. It may seem to have short term benefits, it might seem to ease their pain, (As I'm sure most of you who use this line don't want to hurt the other person) but you are not easing their grieving by saying this, you're prolonging it. If you want a healthy end to the relationship, don't use this line.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #2

    Sep 19, 2009, 08:13 PM

    I agree.
    Trying to spare someone's feelings is often the worst thing you can do,you are giving them false hope.
    It takes courage to say I loved you and I don't anymore.
    You need to move on.
    Heck,if you ever cared for that person truly in the past you would want them to move on and have a life.
    Good points all!
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Sep 19, 2009, 08:27 PM

    See that's exactly what they need to say!

    "I loved you, but I don't anymore'
    It might sting, but it's the healthiest thing you can do!

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