[mizz_izy]

I don't know what to do about this lack I feel after sex with my husband. Sex is so boring for me and I feel as though he doesn't care about my needs and is only concerned about his needs. Foreplay, well doesn't really exist in our relationship. Its just like he's like bam bam boom and he climaxed and that's it. Im left there wanting more. I just don't know if Im expecting too much from him since he is the only man Ive ever been with or what? I really am starting to dislike sex cause I feel like I can do a better job by myself than with him?? What do I do?? Your advice would be really helpful!!

[ohsohappy]

I'm going to say the first thing that's going to come to everyone's mind.

1) Have you even talked to him about it?
2)If so, what did he say?

[mizz_izy]

I'm going to say the first thing that's going to come to everyone's mind.

1) Have you even talked to him about it?
2)If so, what did he say?

Yes I have but like I said he just doesn't seem to care or something...

[mudweiser]

If he doesn't seem to care then stop having sex with him!

He needs to realize that your not just a hole but a whole.

Sarah

[Cat1864]

Remember that communication is not just about talking but listening as well. If he begins feeling defensive about his "lovemaking" (or lack there of) skills, he probably will shut out your concerns and feelings.

If there are no physiological/psychological (Erectile problems, fear of keeping it up or premature ejaculation, etc.) reasons for him not taking time, then he is in a rut and it is time to get out of it.

Some men tend to become conditioned to quick sex for a number of reasons ranging from what time allows to the feeling of masturbation. He needs to learn that pleasing you adds to his pleasure.

mudweiser has a very good idea. He doesn't give you what you need, you don't have to put up with what he wants. He married a whole person not a toy that's there for his satisfaction only.

Here are some other ideas that you might try:

Try taking charge. Your clothes don't come off until you are ready. Then they come off slowly one piece at a time.

Instead of letting him set the pace, you keep the foreplay going. Initiate different positions like you on top.

[redhed35]

I agree with cat... you take control...

Dress up and play a game,give him the rules,example,he's not allowed touch you unless you say...

You can turn this around.. also having sex in different parts of the house will mix it up...

Try and gets the intimacy back.. long slow kisses.. make his kness buckle,change the way he sees you,you are a sexual woman.

A few books may help,go over them together.. 'the joy of sex' is a classic and has lots of useful tips...

[Fr_Chuck]

Men need to learn and be taught, no reason you can't climax from foreplay first or several times after he does.

In the end, you set some ground rules if he does not wish to do it on his own