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Yme4u2c · Sep 17, 2009, 08:05 PM

My son and his girl friend, who has a 2 year old son got into trouble the other night and they went to jail and her son went into CPS custody. They both are in there early 30s, so they both are adults or should be even though sometimes I wonder. I am not overly fond of the girl but that is neither here nor there. He calls me today and was very upset. I guess he was told that if he wrote a statement pleading guilty to everything and that she had nothing to do with it she would be released which did not happen. He wrote the statement and pleaded guilty at his arraignment but they are still holding her and charging her too. He told me he would die for her and her baby and wants to get married right now while in the county jail. He will more than likely go to prison for awhile. He has asked me to find out how to go about this. I talked to her mother and like myself she fells if this is what they want even though we are not all for it, it is up to them. Can anyone tell me where and how to go about getting this arranged and what hoops I will have to go through to make it happen.

Cat1864 · Sep 18, 2009, 06:46 AM

The only advice I could give would be to contact the corrections division and the department of records to find out if in your area they can even get a marriage license. Some places both parties have to apply for the license together in person.

Their lawyers may be able to give you some advice, too.

There is also the thought of contacting the clergy who perform services at the jail to see if they might be willing to help.

stevetcg · Sep 18, 2009, 10:50 AM

Its doubtful anything will happen until both cases are resolved. If only one of them remains in prison then its possible.

But now is not the time for them to be concerned with getting married and as a responsible parent, you should not be facilitating further stupidity.

Worry about the child that may be parentless. Let them get married when they figure out the rest of their problems.

jham123 · Sep 18, 2009, 10:59 AM

^^Thank you Steve...

Yme4u2c, Wash your hands at this point... you running in there to solve all these issues for a 30 year old man is probably most of the problem here.

Since you've done a stellar job with raising the 30 year old, I'm torn between telling you to save the innocent 2 year old or telling you to allow that child to be adopted out to a healthy couple that may be a better choice with actual parenting skills.

Cat1864 · Sep 18, 2009, 01:43 PM

If I read the OP correctly the child is not her son's. If that is so, then she has no say in what happens with the child and I wish all the best for the "wanna'be" daughter-in-law's mother.

If they got into enough trouble in one night to send one to prison and the other might be, I wonder if CPS might not be the best place for the child.

talaniman · Sep 20, 2009, 02:32 PM

Marriage isn't the answer, nor is it your responsibility to help facilitate it, that's his job.

The welfare of the child, now that's a different issue. Do nothing until the charges are resolved.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 20, 2009, 03:06 PM

Of course if they got married, she could not tesify against him in court. And could be more what he has thought about.

Also he found out that the police will lie to him to get him to confess, they found his weak point and used it against him..

Most likely they will drop her charges if she testifies against him, unless she had a large part of the crime.

Most local county jails on prisioners waiting for trial will not allow weddings, and most state prisons don't allow them either. A few will and you have to work though their chaplains department