[amicon]

The obvious here is that you should let this go-realise that its over and move on.you need to do this for YOU.Whatever your ex does has nothing to do with you now.

[pslayne2233]

Amicon have you read the past couple of posts winding 200 has posted? Would you agree with her assessment of what's going on
?

[amicon]

I ll read and get back to you :-)

[amicon]

I can't agree as I don't know.only your ex knows why she s acting the way she is.my opinion is that if someone were to treat me the way your ex has treated you I wouldn't want them back.I realise you re hurting but only you can change the way you react to things that happen in your life.look after yourself.

[winding200]

I almost called her but glad I didn't.. The wedding is a month and a half away.. I wonder if I should do the same, taking pics with women to play her game

Pslyne2233,
Sorry for late response. I have been out of country for a while for vacation.

To answer your question, I will not play a game just like she did. The whole wedding plan was destroyed since she played it as power game. Nobody should waste energy & time to play a game. If there is an issue, it needed to be talked over, and fixed. Our focus is in growing love, not hurting each other & destroying relationship .

I rather call or meet her, tell her clearly it is her last chance, address the issues directly, and ask her straight answers. Overall, she invested years in the relationship, prepared all the wedding in detail, and you are giving her the last chance to fix her own fault as mature fiancé. If the answer is positive, you will work through counseling, if the answer is negative, you take it as closer, and have to move on. You guys have been in NC for long time already, she had enough time to consider her childish action, and she may take her last chance to make it up for future. I hope she is not that stupid to loose future over her childish game at this time.

[pslayne2233]

Winding 200 I feel because she was the one to call it off then she should be the one to initiate conversation.. Im quite surprised she hasn't thus far. I will give up any ground I may have made for myself.. She is a really an inconsiderate human being. Its her call.. Any insight?

[talaniman]

Leave her alone, as she is not making any attempts at amends or reconciliation. I wouldn't expect any either, nor would I accept any, if she did.

[winding200]

pslayne2233,
You are right. It is all her fault, she created all the disasters, humiliated you, destroyed the wedding plans and future. Yes, she has to come out as responsible person, apologize, fix her mistake, and make it up to you indeed. However, as we expected, she has not come out due to her selfish ego. Instead, she is keep creating childish movement here and there, (1. called you and said she miss-dialed, 2. sad face on TV, 3. photos on web).

Tell her it has been her call, but she hasn't improved, and ask her last decision, just like you said here. If I am you, I will not disappear in silence after witnessing her consistent childish act. As fiancé, I rather point out her mistakes, ask her firm answers as confirmation for the last time. You are not begging her to come back, but claiming your right before wday, ask her to fix it for the last time with generosity, and I do not see any issues.

[amicon]

I suggest you look at the facts here.she broke up with you.she has made no attempts at sorting this out.you re sadly stuck in trying to secondguessing her behaviour.you need to move away from spending your life trying to analyze your exes thoughts actions etc.

[pslayne2233]

Amicon you sound like my ex will not make any attempts to reconcile.. where Winding 2oo
Feels she will before the wedding day. Winding has plotted her every move uncluding her last move by being photographed. Winding 200 also feels Im in a better position than I think in this matter, and feels she will come around for 1 reason or the other... If the wedding day passes and still no contact then there is my closure Ive been looking for.. Thanks to All.!

[amicon]

A number of us have tried to give you advice how you can move on with your life.its up to you how you chose to interprete this.

[talaniman]

Your hope is false, and your pride has blinded you to her actions. This was your preview of her love, and if you need a closure for this episode with further humiliation, and rejection, so be it, go for it.

[pslayne2233]

So by talinin and amicar this relationship is done once and for all, do i understand any of this? Point black----this relationship is over. Is that what you're implying? How about devising a wy to get her back... have a great labor day weekend.. safety to all!!

[talaniman]

Geez, after all this time at least get the names right!!

Sorry guy, that you don't share the opinion she is a spoiled flake and you can do better, but any female I was going to marry would have to come with it a lot better than the one you have.

I just don't go in for that kind of disrespect, or childish games from someone who is supposed to be an adult.

What gets me is why you would want her back? Ain't that much love in the world, and nowhere do you have anything concrete that she wants you in the first place.

[moni1210]

I am so happy I read this, I am not alone. We are so dumb in-love.

[reckless]

Yeah, you're blinded. You have to NC her because nothing you can say is going to convince her. It's the fact that you're not saying anything that will convince her if she even is convinceable

If there was a time limit for your NC before you should break it, it'd be 6 months. That is of course assuming that you still care about her after 6 months. Just wait 6 months and see how you feel later down the road.

[twelvemonkeys]

So, is there an update on this? I'm going through something similar and would be interested to know. Thanks.

[amicon]

Hi twelvemonkeys .I suggest you post your story for some advice on your situation.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...-385436-5.html

This is his link, and his last post was moved, and edited, so as not to hijack this thread from the original poster.

[winding200]

Hi pslayne,
I am back from my trip last night. How are you doing? I hope you are doing well. Any progress? I know you are hurt, and unsure about her.

I see many members are suggesting you to walk away while I was gone. I am against the tide. I have been a queen of NC before I married, and I never tried to reconcile with anyone I broke off. However, I never broke off before wedding, and your case should be treated as different than others. What I learned is life is not that all about ego. It is important to protect your ego, but it is also important to try hard enough to get something you really want, and fix the problems as well. We only live once.

Once again, confront her childish actions, and firmly ask her final decision. You have all the RIGHT to be demanding before w-day. You are not the victim of her childish actions, and you should be the OWNER of your life. Otherwise, you will still wonder 'what if... ' 10 years later. What else you could loose? You would get positive answer or firm closure. As I said before, make a firm plan, and approach it.

The reason I think you should ask her answer for final again is:
You & your fiancé did not have the critical issue (e.g. cheating, lies, lack of love & lack of passion etc), she has the personality issue, you are willing to work out with professional counseling, and I think it is worth to find out her final decision before w-day to fix it. Nobody has 100% pure iron heart. While you are hurt, she is also hurt too at this moment. Try it. You will get final closure, or improvement. I will not walk away as a victim before w-day. You have the final ticket in your hand by w-day.