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prsplyr · Sep 12, 2009, 10:51 PM

I have an extensive criminal background... all drug related. My last interaction with the law was a voilation of my probation for smoking pot. I was incarcerated for 3 mo then released to a program. My 6 mo old son was with my girlfriend the entire time and well taken care of. THe maternal grandperents stepped in with a suit and my son has been taken from me... my mother has everyother weekend visitation with him. The birth mother is completely out of the picture. My question is; providing I stay clean... provide a stable environment... get married to the woman who's raised my son since he was born... and obviously remain stable myself, financially and mentally\emotionally... how long must I show a reliable pattern before I can reasonablly ask the courts to aknowledge my rights as the parent over the grandparents?

excon · Sep 12, 2009, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by prsplyr

how long must i show a reliable pattern before I can reasonablly ask the courts to aknowledge my rights as the parent over the grandparents?

Hello p:

As long as you think is long enough to convince a judge. Some of 'em might be convinced in a few months... Some of 'em, ain't NEVER going to be convinced that a pot smoking dad is fit...

So, if it were me, I'd petition the courts absolutely as soon as I could.

excon

MsMewiththat · Sep 12, 2009, 11:40 PM

I think that it excon is correct, it will really depend heavily on the hert of the judge you go before. Not many are comfortable with children being away from their natural parents if the parents are willing and proving that they want to be front and center in their children's lifes. Can I ask you what your other convictions consist of and how many you have?

stevetcg · Sep 13, 2009, 05:24 AM

It also doesn't hurt to go to court and say "listen... im trying to turn my life around. What steps can I take?"

jmjoseph · Sep 13, 2009, 05:41 AM

You should get into a 12 step program, like AA or NA, and go to a substance abuse counselor. Be willing to submit to random drug screening. Things like this are very important to judges. Do things like be involved in volunteer work. Some churches have drug abuse programs that with your experiences makes you a great asset.

You must be, and seem to be, making huge steps in your recovery. Once the court sees all of this, you have a better chance of regaining custody.

They want to know that your son is now more important than the drugs.

cdad · Sep 13, 2009, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by prsplyr

I have an extensive criminal background...all drug related. My last interaction with the law was a voilation of my probation for smoking pot. I was incarcerated for 3 mo then released to a program. My 6 mo old son was with my girlfriend the entire time and well taken care of. THe maternal grandperents stepped in with a suit and my son has been taken from me...my mother has everyother weekend visitation with him. The birth mother is completely out of the picture. My question is; providing I stay clean...provide a stable environment...get married to the woman whos raised my son since he was born...and obviously remain stable myself, financially and mentally\emotionally...how long must i show a reliable pattern before I can reasonablly ask the courts to aknowledge my rights as the parent over the grandparents?

Before getting a good answer I think we are going to need to know more about the situation. When someone loses custody it can come in 2 forms. 1) someone takes over as guardian ( temporary ) and 2) A person is stripped of their rights and actual custody is turned over.

Which one do you fit into ? Were your rights taken from you because you were in jail ?

prsplyr · Sep 13, 2009, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Before getting a good answer I think we are going to need to know more about the situation. When someone loses custody it can come in 2 forms. 1) someone takes over as gaurdian ( temporary ) and 2) A person is stripped of thier rights and actual custody is turned over.

Which one do you fit into ? Were your rights taken from you because you were in jail ?

I was incacerated for about 3 1/2 mo and then remanded to a 90 day intensive treatment program... the hearing occurred while I was in custody of the program. Maternal grandparents were awarded custody... my mom was awarded visitation everyother weekend... and my contact with my son is at my mom's discretion.

prsplyr · Sep 13, 2009, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by MsMewiththat

I think that it excon is correct, it will really depend heavily on the hert of the judge you go before. Not many are comfortable with children being away from their natural parents if the parents are willing and proving that they want to be front and center in their childrens lifes. Can I ask you what your other convictions consist of and how many you have?

mostly drug possessions... 1 larceny... and a string of violations... all dirty urines... while all this was going on I was diagnosed with bipolar and am now on meds and counceling.

cdad · Sep 13, 2009, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by prsplyr

I was incacerated for about 3 1/2 mo and and then remanded to a 90 day intensive treatment program...the hearing occurred while i was in custody of the program. Maternal grandparents were awared custody...my mom was awarded visitation everyother weekend...and my contact with my son is at my mom's discretion.

If your rights were terminated then your not likely to get them back at all. You really need to read the paperwork on this one. Were they given custody and your rights terminated or were they awarded custody and they have current guardianship.

It makes a huge difference.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 13, 2009, 12:58 PM

Yes, did they get temp custody, did you lose all of your rights, it all makes a differece,

In some cases you will never get them back, in others you will have to show a patterm of improvement, in most cases at least 6 months but normally at least a year

prsplyr · Sep 13, 2009, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

If your rights were terminated then your not likely to get them back at all. You really need to read the paperwork on this one. Were they given custody and your rights terminated or were they awarded custody and they have current gaurdianship.

It makes a huge difference.

They were awarded physical custody and guardianship... the judge acknowledged that
He realized that I would be back to attempt to have his order amended... and told me not to get in too big a hurry... I am out of my program in 38 days... he said that he did not want to hear from me in 39. My intentions are to successfully complete this program... marry my girl who has been the only woman my son knows as a mother... take parenting classes... stay in 12 step program AND an outpatient services... stay stable with work... and ask for my own visitation to start... and eventually work back into full custody.

ScottGem · Sep 13, 2009, 03:22 PM

Your plan is good, but obviously the judge wants to be sure you are straight. So he probably is thinking in terms of months if not years.

Steve is right that you should ask the judge for a list of steps you need to take and milestones you need to reach before you can get custody back.