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kctiger · Aug 27, 2009, 09:04 AM

Took roughly 9 months to get over her completely... now, actually seeing her out with another guy, I haven't had to cross that bridge yet. I know she is dating another guy, but as far as me seeing the two together, not sure how I would react. I am certain it isn't something I am in a hurry to see. Time is different for everyone... the important thing is how you spend that time.

britEl · Aug 27, 2009, 11:09 AM

When I was dumped by my first 'love' it took me at least 6 months to get over him with no contact. It has now been 2 years and we are friends now and believe it or not but HE is the one who still thinks back on our relationship and how he misses it, which makes me feel even better because I KNOW that even when he wants me I don't want him!

jmw0713 · Aug 27, 2009, 12:28 PM

Everyone is different. I saw my ex at a baseball game back in June, 8 months after I found out she was dating someone else. Luckily the new guy wasn't there because I would have had a terrible time dealing with it. Now that I'm 10 months in... I still feel the same way. I would say I'm about 95% over her. However, if I see her again, at this point I know that old memories would come back, but the pain associated with them would not be nearly as strong as 10 months ago.

I'm almost completely over her. Just need a little more time. I think eventually you do get over an ex. It just takes a while.

COCADA · Aug 27, 2009, 12:28 PM

After 6 months of my xboyfriend breaking up with me , I still keep on breaking NC, the longest I've gone NC has been 2 weeks and I've failed by texting him again and again. It is so hard to let go of someone that you still care for, especially when that someone gives you false hopes of a FUTURE together.

L85 · Sep 9, 2009, 02:42 AM

Well so far I've managed about 3 weeks of complete no contact, which hasn't been to bad even though I really still want her, which is obviously a waste of time now she has some one new, the problem I'm now having is I keep having dreams about her, sometimes we are still together and sometimes she is with someone else but whatever the dream I keep waking up feeling horrible for hours as I have all these thoughts in my head. And I just want to know how to make it stop? I can make myself think such awful stuff just from a dream! Help please

amicon · Sep 9, 2009, 04:53 AM

They re dreams and even though you wake up hurting the best thing is to continue getting on with your life. Breakups hurt sometimes for quite some time but if we allow ourselves to move on and heal the pain will go away.

amicon · Sep 9, 2009, 04:54 AM

And I want to add three weeks of no contact is very good.well done!

kctiger · Sep 9, 2009, 05:33 AM

Three weeks is great but give yourself some more time. It is still a bit fresh and the dreams are sort of a way for your brain letting you know it is still fresh. Be patient and work through this! This isn't a fast process, but it is a necessary one.

amicon · Sep 9, 2009, 06:29 AM

True we can't sweep anything under the carpet.

L85 · Sep 9, 2009, 11:45 PM

This is getting silly now, last night was the 5th night in a row I've had dreams about her, its like if I try not to think about her I have dreams about her. I thought I was doing quite well up till now, heavy drinking isn't working!

shian109 · Sep 9, 2009, 11:50 PM

Break,
Up grade yourself.
You will get better couple later.

amicon · Sep 9, 2009, 11:56 PM

No drinking doesn't help at all.Alcohol is a depressant.try going for a run or some such activity that will take your mind of things and will also make you feel better.time IS the great healer believe me.pain comes and goes but one day it will be gone.

Just Looking · Sep 10, 2009, 12:00 AM

Originally Posted by L85

this is getting silly now, last night was the 5th night in a row ive had dreams about her, its like if i try not to think about her i have dreams about her. I thought i was doing quite well up till now, heavy drinking isnt working! !

I had nightmares for weeks. If you are having bad dreams you can try to change them. If they are recurring or a similar theme, you can do things like think about an alternative ending to the dream and practice it in your mind before falling to sleep. Probably the most important thing is to be relaxed when you go to bed - which could be from exercising earlier in the day, meditation, or even listening to music. I find the easiest way to relax is to play racquetball - something about hitting that little blue ball as hard as I can! I always end up so calm afterwards. If you can find something to rid the stress from your mind and body, you'll be much better off. Drinking isn't going to help much, but have you ever tried melatonin? It's also very calming and helps you to sleep better.

kctiger · Sep 10, 2009, 06:07 AM

Originally Posted by L85

this is getting silly now, last night was the 5th night in a row ive had dreams about her, its like if i try not to think about her i have dreams about her. I thought i was doing quite well up till now, heavy drinking isnt working! !

To put things in perspective for you, I had an extremely vivid dream about my ex last night. It has been a year since we broke up, but I mean this dream was real. I woke up with my eyes moist. I could almost feel what it was like holding her, what she smelled like, everything. It happens man, regardless of the time, sometimes it just happens.

What always worked for me (and I know they tell you not to do this), but exercising REALLY hard before bed, then taking a hot bath with relaxing music... I would then melt to bed, literally. I was exhausted but had peaked my body up then calmed it down. Take a couple of aspirin if you need after the workout. Just drain yourself physically and you will be amazed at how that works.

During a break up we tend to overwhelm ourselves mentally, which can have a damaging effect on us. If you just pound yourself (figuratively) and push and push your physical limits, not only will it exhaust you to a good night's sleep, it will make your body better and increase yourself esteem.

I always found that using the anger and sadness and even depression to push myself would just work wonders in the long run. I did the drinking thing for awhile but at some point it just hits you like a ton of bricks and you say to yourself, "I am not going to let this thing beat me...I refuse to." It's like that old saying, "Why do we fall?"... "So we can learn to pick ourselves back up."

L85 · Sep 27, 2009, 12:41 PM

Im so annoyed! I've managed to do complete no contact for about 6 weeks now and really thought I was starting to get somewhere except I bupmed into my ex today, I didn't say anything to her I just turned the other way and left quickly but its proper messed my mind up now I've got all these thoughts in my mind again I'm so annoyed, I just can't see this ever ending for me I feel so down again now. Help me please! Anyone!

amicon · Sep 27, 2009, 12:51 PM

It will end, you ve had a temporary set back and you ll get over this in a little while.

Just Looking · Sep 27, 2009, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by L85

Im so annoyed!! ive managed to do complete no contact for about 6 weeks now and really thought i was starting to get somewhere exept i bupmed into my ex today, i didnt say anything to her i just turned the other way and left quickly but its propper messed my mind up now ive got all these thoughts in my mind again im so annoyed, i just can't see this ever ending for me i feel so down again now. help me please! anyone!

That happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't talked to my ex for over a month and wasn't really thinking about him, but went out dancing with my girlfriends and he was there. It got to me, too - all that night and the next morning. The best thing to do is anything but think about it - do something productive. I went out for a run with a friend the next morning, and came back refreshed. What happened to you is normal. Don't let it get you down. :)