[tlbranth]

My son and his wife are seeking divorce. They have amassed substantial debt during their marriage - most of which my wife and I have paid. We are now close to penniless. If my son and his wife agree and sign divorce papers which indicate that she is resposible for a certain part of the debt to my wife and me, and she doesn't pay, can I garnish her wages? If not, what's the cheapest way I can force her to pay her debt to us? This is in the state of Washington

[cdad]

First off how much do you have in writing as an obligation for them / her to pay ? If it was never put in writing then she can say it was a gift or that you were helping out.
Should you get a judgement against her then you may have to go to court to reinforce it through garnishment or liens or seizure.

[tlbranth]

It was not in writing. At the time, they were not contemplating divorce but were destitute and living day to day on credit cards. My solution for them was that I would pay off what I could have their debt and they would live with us and pay us back from the savings in living expenses. I got a promise from both of them that if I did this for them, they wouldn't bail on me because I would have no money left. They both agreed. (I trusted them). Then after I paid close to $40,000 in debt, she bailed, got her own apartment, and refuses to pay anything. The verbal agreement was that this would be repaid. My son is sticking with it, although I haven't seen a dime yet. Since then, she leased a new car, leaving my son with her old car worth $12k with a $20k loan on it - it's in his name. She refuses to pay any of the money it would take to sell it. If we do get her to sign divorce papers agreeing to half the total debt, how can I enforce it? What if she doesn't pay? My wife and I cannot afford to pay her debts for her. Thanks

[JudyKayTee]

I see this as a joint debt of husband and wife - you didn't lend her 50% and him 50%. I am trusting that you can back up that this is a loan and not a gift.

You can always sue both your son AND your daughter in law and see what type of Judgment is handed down, whether the Judgment divides the debt 50/50 of not. I personally doubt that it will.

I see no answer except suing both of them OR having your son pay you totally and then having HIM sue HER.

This "debt" is most definitely not going to be included in their divorce decree unless she agrees that it is a debt and I don't see that that's going to happen.

I think you're a lot too involved in your son's life - if "we" get her to sign divorce papers? There's no "we" involved here. It's between your son and his wife and if you are attempting to pressure her I see why she is turning away.

[tlbranth]

Wow. It's astounding to me that trying to help someone out can get you screwed like that. Seems to me it would cost more to go to court than I could ever hope to get back. My son intends to work 'til he pays us back but looks like I'll never see anything from her. Astounding. What a system.

[JudyKayTee]

The phrase is "get it in writing even when it's a family member." It's less about the system and more about protecting yourself when you make a loan.

Relationships end and magically loans turn into gifts.

Your son can pay you back and then sue her for her half - as I said.