[rennere]

I understand having sex without feelings in situations like ONS, FWB etc. but what about pure physical pleasure with a person you love and care about? Is that possible?
My boyfriend of 3 years told me he has that with me and he can't make love all the time, mostly he just has sex with me.
I feel terrribly hurt. I'm about to breakup with him over this. What do you guys think? Is he using me just for sex all this time?

[redhed35]

It must be very good sex if he has stayed for 3 years,without getting anything else out of the relationship.

Is there any pillow talk?
Are you intimate without sex?
Does he show you respect?

Yes there's a difference between love making and lustful sex,however,one session can include a lot of different aspects,example,passion,lust,love,tenderness.. the list goes on.

Take a closer look at your relationship,could he have misunderstood what you meant?

[rennere]

Well we have great to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if he stayed just for that.

Pillow talk, yes.
Intimate without sex, yes.
Respect? That's an issues for itself.

I don't think we had a misunderstanding. He didn't mean that making love is just a form of gentle sex, like just sex without emotions. He really said he mostly just... you know, the f word me!

How about that? What does his words stand for? Friends with benefits? He said he's sorry but didn't take it back.

So does he love me? What is this I'm in! Can sex and emotions really be separated in a LTR?

[redhed35]

I'm just going to through this out,but when he says ;im in' he means in the relationship.

If he ticks the boxes for pillow talk,being intimate outside the bedroom,I would say he cares.

Friends with benefits don't usually put a relationship status on the other person,meaning they are free to date and meet other people.

Only you know if you are his 'booty call'
But you say a 3 year relationship..

Has he told you he loves you?

Do you do activities together?
Do you live together?

I'm just asking a few questions to get a better over all view.

Some men find it hard to talk about their feelings and emotions.

[rennere]

First I want to thank you for helping me, I really appreciate it.

I think he put us under a relationship status, a serious one, not an open relationship or anything like that.

He told me loved me on the second month of dating and two more times during the first year and a half. Nothing later.

Yeah we're doing a lot of things together when we can but we don't live together.

I understand he has a hard time talking about his feelings but come on, how could he say such confusing things to me! (sorry I'm still pretty mad!) and then just leave. We're not speaking for days by the way.

[redhed35]

You need to go back and talk to him.

Sit him down and tell him how you feel,that you would like him to tell you more offen that he loves you,you do the same!

Let him know that you were hurt by what he said.
Make up the fight,without fighting,be the one to take the first step.

For me,it sounds like he does care for you.
He probably did not realise how much his words stung..
A lot of guys are not the lovely dovey type,and show their love in their actions.

[rennere]

That's exactly what I think too. It's just not that easy to make a smart move when you're inside the situations and you're hurt of course.

Thanks so much! This was a great venting. I'll talk to him.