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    MCarter584's Avatar
    MCarter584 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 4, 2009, 01:45 PM
    Why does my husband take all recognition and sympathy away from me?
    My husband is constantly telling me I am wrong or putting me down. He, often, uses a very sarcastic tone, as well. Of course, when I confront him about his behavior, he tells me that I take everything he says the wrong way. Below, I have listed some of the things he has said to me:

    1.) I was telling my husband how my enrollment counselor was proud of all that I had learned in written and oral communications, and my husband said, "You'll never use that stuff, again." I said, "Stephen, that hurts my feelings; you know that I am an English major." He said, "I can never call you without you arguing with me!"

    2.) I had been very sick with pneumonia, and I could physically feel my temp rising. I kept taking my temp until it reached 102.9. I told my husband, and he said, "There's no way your temp has went that high that fast!" He, then, took the thermometer from me and rinsed it off. He took his temp in an effort to prove me wrong, but he ended up proving himself wrong. When I made mention of him doing this, he said,"I am tired of you mistreating me, and I want a divorce."

    It seems that my husband does not want me to get recognition or sympathy for anything. Why? What have I done?
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #2

    Sep 4, 2009, 02:01 PM
    You haven't done anything wrong. Your husband is verbally and emotionally abusive. I won't tell you to stay or go, you'll have to make that decision for yourself. Maybe if you take a temporary separation perhaps he'll come to his senses. If that doesn't do it, then a divorce may be in order.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #3

    Sep 4, 2009, 02:05 PM

    If he is not willing to celebrate your success with you it is either because he feels threatened (you may leave) or he is feeling inferior.Most likely it is a little of both.

    Someone who always wants to be proven right is generally insecure.

    I would not take the responsibility for his insecurity,that is his problem.

    The bottom line is does he want to be right or be happy because often the two will conflict.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Sep 4, 2009, 02:55 PM

    Don't let Mr. Sourpuss get you down. He is not only insecure, but insensitive also. Stand up for yourself and tell him his behavior is lousy, and boorish.

    If you keep taking it, he will keep dishing it.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #5

    Sep 5, 2009, 12:46 AM
    I think that he sounds like a petulant child - what is he, six years old?

    I'd be googling - 'how to deal with petulant children' and respond accordingly.

    Start setting some boundaries and stand up for yourself - alternatively, a withering look can speak volumes.
    donf's Avatar
    donf Posts: 5,679, Reputation: 582
    Printers & Electronics Expert
     
    #6

    Sep 5, 2009, 01:05 AM
    I must be on a different planet in a different universe.

    It seems to me that if you love someone you would want to praise them for there efforts. It does not take all that much effort to say, "I agree with your counselor, you put a lot of work into this class, nice job."

    Marriage is about building a relationship, not using someone as a target for barbs.

    I suggest that you get a 2X4 with or without exposed nails and whack him over the head. At least then you might have his attention. (Seriously don't result to violence, it just breeds more violence).

    This guy sounds more in love with himself than anyone else.

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