[Alty]

Divorce or not, she may still be having financial issues, due to not being able to work or having emotional instability when working.

It was just a suggestion on how to save some money, if applicable.

True, but she's now living with her mother.

It's still really important to read all the posts, just so you know what's going on.

[eyes34_rp]

First, I would recommend "Financial Peace University" by Dave Ramsey. (Real Debt Help - Get out of debt with Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover Plan.) when you can afford it. Then try counseling through a good local church. Sometimes they can and will teach and say things that conventional counselors don't.

[jenniepepsi]

Hi everyone.
I guess the saying is true 'when it rains it pours' my grandmother has been in a bad MS attack for about a week now, in severe pain whenever she even just moved a little and developed a 104.8 fever yesterday, and refused to let me cool her down with a towl, wouldn't take any medicine for me, wouldn't even take her daily regular medications and I couldn't put her in the tub or shower, because she has to be able to help me. Normally she has upper body strenth and can hold herself up. But during this attack, she is so lifeless there is just no way to put her in the shower safely. So I told her 'granmda I love you very much, but if you DO NOT let me get your fever down before it kills you (it made it up to 105.4!! ) I am calling the hosptial to take you in and you WILL get your medicine from them.

So that's where I was yesterday. She hates hospitals and was so upset that we took her. But it was a blessing that I decided to take her, because we also found out that she had a bad bad BAD UTI that the doctor said was so so close to making her septic. She also was extreamly dehydrated (I gave her water, she was drinking, but the fever was drying it all up) AND, what would have killed her faster than anything else, was that her potassium was at 2.1!! Normal is 3.5 and low is 2.5, but hers was dangerously low.

But she is OK now. Once they forced the tyenol into her (rectally unfortunately because she refused to take it orally)

And hung a saline drip and van-co-my-acine (sorry I can't spell it right) and leviquin. Then a potassium bag (in a seperage I've for some reason) she got better almost immediately. About 2 hours later, she was talking louder and clearer, her face wasn't so pale, and she wasn't in pain anymore. So I'm sure that made her feel better.


I am sorry everyone. Even I see the problems that your talking about... and I'm sorry I made you all not believe me...

J, your right, I'm sorry I'm not taking my meds, I forgot them at the old house. And though its only been a few days, its probably affecting me. I've been feeling a little depressed. But that's it.

I am a little blasé about all of this... but you guys have to realise that I spent a lot of years with aylas bio father treating me like this, I don't like to say this, because its terrible, but I'm kind of 'used to it' I'm sorry :(

Alty, you know that I don't disagree with you hardly ever. In fact I can't remember anytime I have disagreed with you... but I have to here. You private messaged me (I won't share the message) that men don't all of a sudden change to abusive. Your wrong hon. It does happen. Aylas dad started as sweet as sweet can be. And he gradually slowly changed and became more and more controlling until he was finally pushing me and then throwing things at me and then hitting me. *hugs* I hope me disagreeing with you doesn't make you mad.


I'm going to try to make a list of all the stuff that happened. These last few





Teusday morning 9/1:

I was on the phone with mom, he asked what was for dinner. I said 'hang on hon ill tell you in a sec'
This was when I was in a good mood, and was talking nicely...

He started stomping, yelling, 'f-ing stupid b#### can't even anwer my dam question'
And stomped off into the other room.

My mom said she couldn't hear me over him so she told me to talk to him and call her later while he was at work.


This is where I think it got confusing in all my rush and anger and upsetness while posting originally. I'm reading back as I type this out to fix any errors.
FIRST he said 'your mother is an f-ing b#### anyway, I don't know why you even talk to her'

Then I yelled at him and told him ALL the things my mother has done for us. Like pay our bills when we were behind, she let us live with her when we first got married. And then let us move back in when we lost our first place. She has done SO MUCH for us, and asks nothing in return. Yet she is a 'bi###'

Then he ran at me and hit me in the face. It was in the side of my jaw on the right side (he is left handed to let you know just so that it doenst confuse anyone)

This is also where it got confusing (for me too, now that I am reading everything)

He left for work after hitting me. After he hit me I stormed into my room and slammed and locked the door. He left for work.

I called my mom back and said 'im sorry I can't deal with this anymore'

She told me to pack my things and call uncle ted (the police officer) to come get our stuff in his truck.

It was while my uncle and aunt were there helping me pack that issac called and tried to say sorry, and I said I'm sorry too, because I can't handle this anymore'and he said 'what are you talking about are you leaving? " and I said 'YES I AM'

He hung up. Which told me he was on his way so I called the cops.

Issac got there and was freaking out (he kept switching back and fourth between being angry for me taking the computer, and crying telling me not to leave)

And by the way, the computer is the ONLY common property I took, because it has aylas school stuff in it, my school stuff in it, and my job searches in it. I left him EVERYTHING. I only took my clothing, aylas stuff, and the computer. And I was going to get my nic nacs and vases, but those got destroyed.

Then the police were there, and saw how agitated he was, and how upset I was and told issac to leave and come back when I was gone. Then the police officer advised me to make a report about him hitting me.

So I told issac the truck was full and I would be back tomrrow to get the rest of it. Issac left. We finished getting my stuff in the truck and all that. And left.

Later that night, issac called. Threw a fit screaming. All that is accurate. He yelled screamed threw a fit. Told me he destroyed my stuff. Called ALL night long. I finally shut my phone off, and he started calling my moms phone so my dad answered and told him to stop calling.




WEDNESDAY, 2/9:

After taking ayla to school with uncle ted (I don't go over there without him anymore) we went by the house to get the rest of my stuff. And he had absolutely destroyed EVERYTHING . Not just my stuff. EVERYTHING. I told the apartment manager and she came and took pictures. After we got what little we could salvage, we went home and I called the police (which I needed to do anyway) and filed a report for him hitting me, harassing me on the phone, and destroying my stuff. I figured that was the best way to to it instead of doing a bunch of separate ones.


Yesterday, Thursday 3/9::

I went to the doctors this morning, got some pain pills (IB 800mg) the doctor said it was sore and bruised, but its nothing more than soft tissue soreness.

This was the day that grandma went into the hopstial and I was there from lunch time at about 12, until this morning at 6.


I hope this clears stuff up...

[nikosmom]

i hope this clears stuff up...

Yeah it does... you need to take your meds. The story is still bogus.

[jenniepepsi]

Um... duh...
I have an appointment on Monday to get new prescriptions from my doctor... ive only been with out them for 3 days

[Alty]

Jennie, the fact remains, the police would not have let him leave if he assaulted you. That's not the way things are done, ever!

That's the part I find hardest to believe.

[jenniepepsi]

Well I'm sorry I don't know what to tell you.

Thanks everyone.

[Alty]

well im sorry i dont know what to tell you.

thanks everyone.

Jennie, I just want the truth, that's all.

I wish I could believe you, I really do. If you were assaulted and you're just really
Bad at telling the facts, then you deserve all the help you can get.

If you were on the outside looking in, what would you think? There are just too many
Things that don't add up, the police and their lack of action being the main thing, at least
To me.

I don't know how you can clear this up, I really don't, but right now, you haven't, not for
Me anyway.

Either way, there is help for you, so I hope you get it, whatever it may be.

[justcurious55]

I just have to throw something out there. The fact is that some cops are bad at doing their jobs. My dad went on a number of rampages breaking things, hitting me and my mother. He tried to run her over in the street, after he'd already hit her. We called the police and got the same bs response along the lines of "he didn't really do anything wrong...sir, leave til you've cooled off...it's his house, he can do what he wants." they even told me and my mother that we shouldn't do things to upset him. I wish that I knew then all that I know now because looking back I know how wrong they were. But back then, I didn't know anything. And my mother was useless. So, I don't know, maybe the cops did give jennie the wrong information, maybe she's not giving us the full store. But it is possible that the cops that she spoke with were the same sort of lazy no-good cops that came out for me.

[Cat1864]

Jennie,

Before I ask a couple of questions, I want to let you know a bit about who I am so that you don't think I am a newcomer who only read the last page or pages 1-10.

In case you haven't seen the introduction page, I am Cats' Cat (spouse, wife, life mate, whatever term you want to use :) ). I may have just joined but I have been reading the boards for quite awhile and have read this one since it began.

As the others have stated, I, too, have noticed some inconsistencies in the time-line and events. Most of the time-line problems are a bit clearer after your post earlier today. However, one event in particular and the people involved still needs some clarification.

Where was your uncle (the ex-police officer-current guard) when Isaac showed up and started rampaging and when the officers told you to "file a report" about him hitting you? I am finding it difficult to believe that he of all people would have allowed the officers to essentially dismiss your accusation.

Did you tell the police about the physical abuse before they told him to leave? Or after he was already gone? If after, why didn't your aunt or uncle say anything?

[artlady]

Jennie,I hope your gram gets well soon.

I had two family members with MS and two good friends.

Things can go from bad to worse very quickly with an M.S. patient.
What struck me when you were talking about your Gram was her potassium level.

My father was misdiagnosed as having M.S. for many years (I'm guessing at least 8 yrs) and his problem,as it turned out was severe potassium insufficiency.

I don't know how long your Gram has been diagnosed but I just thought I would throw that out there to you in case there have ever been any inconsistencies with her diagnosis.

My father suffered needlessly for years!

Hope all is well with you and Ayla :)

[JoeCanada76]

I had some questions myself, but never bothered responding. Glad I am not the only one that sees it.

[asking]

In defense of Jennie

I am a little surprised that people are questioning Jennie's story so closely. It is easy to get the sequence of events confused when things are chaotic and upsetting. Lots of people were involved over a short period, she moved out of her house, many things were said in the heat of anger. It is also easy to imagine the cops not locking him up if they were not specifically asked to. The prosecution of domestic violence cases varies considerably by jurisdiction. We haven't heard the cops' version of what happened or their particular constraints on that day. I am not saying the cops were right, but only that many factors go into such decisions and their failure to arrest him does not mean that Isaac did not hit Jennie or that her story is "wrong."

As for abuse, it is NORMAL for abusers to be particularly charming and to sweep partners off their feet. Abusers are not mean at first. If anything, they are especially nice. And they fall in love too. They want to win someone over and be loved. The abuse comes later, sometimes building gradually, sometimes beginning all at once--often after a committing event, such as moving in together, engagement, marriage, a baby, or the partner quitting a job and becoming a dependent, stay at home parent.

It's popular to say that partners who have been subjected to abuse were raised that way and in some fashion "go looking for it." That may be true in some cases, but I emphatically reject it as a general explanation. First of all, abusers are often really hard to spot. Nobody goes out on a second date with someone who is hostile or controlling on the first date. Often, abusers are quite popular outside the home and people may think they have a great marriage because that's the way they tell it and that's the way they act when others are around. Second, lots of women (and men) who end up with abusive partners were not abused as children or teens.

[Alty]

Here's what I found for the Phoenix area and domestic abuse victims.

When a police officer arrives, describe what happened. Tell the officer about any injuries such as bruises, cuts, redness, or tender areas. Also let the officer know if anyone else witnessed the incident and can support your statement. The officer will decide if there is enough evidence to make an arrest.

If arrested, the offender will be taken away and secured until appearing before a magistrate who will determine the terms and conditions of the release.

Once an offense is referred to the courts for action, you, the victim, will be kept informed of all aspects of the proceedings according to the victims' rights law. Victims of crime are encouraged to participate in the judicial process.

The penalties for an offender found guilty of domestic violence related crime vary greatly. The court may be able to order the offender into a counseling program to begin breaking the cycle of violence.

The only way that Isaac could have avoided arrest is if the police officer didn't believe Jennie's account of what happened.

Found here;

Phoenix Police Department - Domestic Violence is against the law.

[jenniepepsi]

I got a paper to fill out from the police in the mail (I can't go back to the apartment obviously, but the apartment is in phoenix, while my mom is in glendale. And I guess the police won't come to the other city outside of their jurisdiction, but the glendale police can't help because it all happened in phoenix. At least that's what they told me)

Its got 2 things I need to fill out. One is a statement from me stating what happened, what he did, what I did, what led to it, and what came after.

The other is an itemized list of the things he destroyed in the apartment. They told me to list EVERYTHING, just in case, because I might not know what is considered 'common property' or MY property. Along with a general price range. Which ill fill out, but I really don't care about the money (except for the dress which was 300$ and it really hurt because I was planning on saving it for aylas wedding)

I really do apreciate all the support and help I'm getting from everyone. I'm very sorry that everything is so unclear. I'm trying my best to get it all out to you guys.

*hugs*



Arty, grandma has had MS for a LONG time. There is no question its not MS. from what her doctor told us (her regular Internist (I think that's the right term) , not the ER doc)
She said that potassium levels will drop slightly during an attack. And that her refusing to eat, because she felt so crappy from the fever and dehydration, made the potassium worse.

Also an update on that, she ate this morning. Which is awesome. She ate well. She is more coherant. And her BP, potassium, and magnesium (which was also slightly low,) and her hydration is all back up to standards.

[Alty]

its got 2 things I need to fill out. One is a statement from me stating what happened, what he did, what I did, what led to it, and what came after.

But you said you already filed a report. Why do you have to do it again?

[jenniepepsi]

I'm not filing a report again. I already filed the report. They said I had to write the statement and write down the things he distroyed and sign them.

[moni1210]

I know I am going to catch hell for this but he works.. it is 2009 is he a ceo, vice president, president of some corporate company? No sounds like a regular guy be thankful.

[Catsmine]

i know i am going to catch hell for this but he works..it is 2009 is he a ceo, vice president, president of some corporate company? no sounds like a regular guy be thankful.

How much of this have you read?

[Just Dahlia]

i know i am going to catch hell for this but he works..it is 2009 is he a ceo, vice president, president of some corporate company? no sounds like a regular guy be thankful.

Are you posted in the wrong thread:confused: What you are saying has nothing to do with this. I'm confused.