[SnymanS]

Me and my fiancé was together for 3 years on and off. We broke up due to a big fight. I started to date one of my old friends and things got quite serious. He wants us to move in together and get married. Yesterday my ex came to me, cried and told me that he still loves me and can't forget about me and the children ( I have 3). I also still do love him and he was never off my mind. So what do I do! I gave my old friend hopes end doesn't want to dissapoint him, but I also love my ex to bits. I am so confused, please help!! :(

[amicon]

What was the big fight about?was this a pattern in your relationship?can whatever issues that split you up be resolved?the new guy seems to be a rebound which is not the best of ideas.you must also consider the wellbeing of your children.they need emotional stability in their lives.

[I wish]

Don't make a decision until you've sorted out your feelings. I suggest that you distance yourself from both men for a while so that you can think without their influence. Then you will be in a more objective position to figure out who and what you really want and need.

Your children are the priority and whatever decision you make, you must make sure that you have their best interest at heart.

Don't jump back into a relationship with your ex if you feel that your past problems haven't been repaired. Don't just go with the new guy just for the sake of having someone, i.e. a rebound. Make sure it's what you really want and again, in the best interest of your children. You want a healthy relationship, not just any relationship.

[talaniman]

When we are confused about who to be with, we shouldn't be with anyone, until we know what we want for ourselves.

Jumping from guy to guy, is no solution either, and adds to the confusion even more. I think you spend some time to yourself, until you figure it out.

I can bet your kids are as confused as you are. That can't be healthy for them, either.

[s_cianci]

We can't tell you what to do. But keep in mind, rebound relationships are rarely healthy and almost never work out. And, an on-again, off-again arrangement over a 3-year span with someone you intend to marry isn't a good thing. And all it took was a "big fight" to break off your engagement. You're not totally responsible for getting your old friend's hopes up ; after all, he's the one who pushed for moving in together and getting married right away, knowing that you just came off a 3-year engagement. So obviously he isn't thinking too clearly either. I hope that you didn't make your friend any big promises. But if you did, just apologize and explain that you weren't thinking too clearly. It seems like both you and he are just grabbing at straws right now and that's never healthy. You need to take some time off and really think things through and get your own mindset straight before you contemplate anything serious like marriage.