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TeresaK · Sep 3, 2009, 02:05 PM

What are the laws about abandonment in the US / Indiana?

cdad · Sep 3, 2009, 02:41 PM

Abandonment of what ?

TeresaK · Sep 3, 2009, 02:46 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Abandonment of what ?

Husband walked out. Abandonment on everything from house, credit cards, van, all in both our names. He left the country. He moved to the netherlands. Was told I could file abandonment papers with the courts, but even the court house hasn't told me what this action will do..

cdad · Sep 3, 2009, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by TeresaK

husband walked out. abandonment on everything from house, credit cards, van, all in both our names. he left the country. he moved to the netherlands. was told i could file abandonment papers with the courts, but even the court house hasnt told me what this action will do..

What they didn't tell you is that its Divorce papers. And they want you to use abandonment as grounds for divorce. How long ago did he leave and also are there children involved ?

Are you positive he moved out of the country ? Are you both U.S. citizens ?

TeresaK · Sep 3, 2009, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

What they didnt tell you is that its Divorce papers. And they want you to use abandonment as grounds for divorce. How long ago did he leave and also are there children involved ?

Are you positive he moved out of the country ? Are you both U.S. citizens ?

I am a US citizen, but he's not.. we were together 10 years, married for 7. he left Nov. 4th last year saying he was going there to visit his mother, he never came back. We don't have children together but there are children from different relationships before we met..
I'm disabled and can't afford a lawyer. He filed for divorce there in the netherlands and the papers don't bring up anything about all the assests and bills..
The house is getting ready to be forecloused on and I'm lost at what to do anymore. I have been fighting for a year to keep the house because my daughter and I have no other place to go. I'm scared and don't know where to turn for answers anymore..

cdad · Sep 3, 2009, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by TeresaK

I am a US citizen, but hes not.. we were together 10 years, married for 7. he left Nov. 4th last year saying he was going there to visit his mother, he never came back. we dont have children together but there are children from different relationships before we met..
im disabled and can't afford a lawyer. he filed for divorce there in the netherlands and the papers dont bring up anything about all the assests and bills..
the house is getting ready to be forecloused on and im lost at what to do anymore. i have been fighting for a year to keep the house because my daughter and i have no other place to go. im scared and dont know where to turn for answers anymore..

Are you on SSI or SSD ? If not and your disabled then you need to seek that as your going to need income to make it through this. Also you need a lawyer ASAP. You can try calling women's shelters etc and see if they can aid you in your search or point you in the right direction. They may be able to broker a stoppage on the foreclosure but the outcome will be the same ( you will have to move ). Since he has filed you need protection right away. The country he filed in may not have jurisdiction over your marriage since from the sounds of it he lived here for the 7 year period you spoke of. If that's the case then it needs to be stopped and you need to file here right away.

TeresaK · Sep 3, 2009, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Are you on SSI or SSD ? If not and your disabled then you need to seek that as your going to need income to make it through this. Also you need a lawyer ASAP. You can try calling womens shelters etc and see if they can aid you in your search or point you in the right direction. They may be able to broker a stoppage on the forclosure but the outcome will be the same ( you will have to move ). Since he has filed you need protection right away. The country he filed in may not have jurisdiction over your marriage since from the sounds of it he lived here for the 7 year period you spoke of. If thats the case then it needs to be stopped and you need to file here right away.

Im on SSI and waiting for my SSD to be approved.. Ive calls shelters and there are waiting list longer than the debts he left me with.. I still put our names on the list.. He and I were married in the Netherlands and even legal aid here won't help me because they said it is an international divorce.. I've been looking for a room to rent from someone for my daughter and myself, but no one wants two people in one room or they have really creepy old men wanting more than just a roommate..

Have you ever felt like your life is just one big mess and there's some rule posted where you can't see it that says "no clean up available"..

cdad · Sep 3, 2009, 03:33 PM

" quote: have you ever felt like your life is just one big mess and theres some rule posted where you can't see it that says "no clean up available"............? ": end quote

Yes I have the hat and tshirt and some underware that go with it all.. lol

What you need to do is ask about the housing first if your talking to lawyers. As far as it being international it may or may not be.
Ref:
Divorce Jurisdiction

Mostly its going to depend on how long he has lived there. It looks like for him to file there he would have to have permanent residence there for 12 months.

Ref:

http://www.international-divorce.com/d-netherlands.htm

TeresaK · Sep 3, 2009, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

" quote: have you ever felt like your life is just one big mess and theres some rule posted where you can't see it that says "no clean up available"............? ": end quote

Yes I have the hat and tshirt and some underware that go with it all .. lol

What you need to do is ask about the housing first if your talking to lawyers. As far as it being international it may or may not be.
Ref:
Divorce Jurisdiction

Mostly its going to depend on how long he has lived there. It looks like for him to file there he would have to have permanent residence there for 12 months.

Ref:

Netherlands Divorce, Prenuptial, Separation, International Family Law

He filed after being back there for 6 months..

You have all the wear for it but I bet you don't have the super econo size of KY that came with the royal scr*wing of life.. lol

Have to laugh because I'm tired of crying... I've been searching for housing for us for some time now, but its harder than I even thought it would be..

I would pull out my hair at this point, but I like my long hair and I don't think I would look good bald..

cdad · Sep 3, 2009, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by TeresaK

he filed after being back there for 6 months..

That may or may not be enough time for him to claim permanent residence there so his action can still be thrown out. First things first. Can you afford to rent ? If so how much ? You don't need to respond to those questions here Im just building a thought process for you.

In today's economy many homes are being lost to foreclosure. And many many people are on waiting lists. So if you can get some time with a lawyer that may help you with it many lenders will work with you even if it means you rent from them rather then own. Also some are getting very creative as far as the loans go. So there may still be hope but you need local help. You have to figure out where you stand in this divorce thing. Who has jurisdiction etc. There was A lot of basic information in the links I provided about how divorce works in general terms over there. So either way you can stay informed. Have you tried calling the American consulate over there and see if they have any suggestions for you ? There may be some form of legal aid in the netherlands that will work with you also. From what I have read they are big on spousal support so it might be worth a shot. You need to focus more and still keep your eyes open to all oppertunities.

TeresaK · Sep 3, 2009, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

That may or may not be enough time for him to claim permanent residence there so his action can still be thrown out. First things first. Can you afford to rent ? If so how much ? You dont need to respond to those questions here Im just building a thought process for you.

In todays economy many homes are being lost to forclosure. And many many people are on waiting lists. So if you can get some time with a lawyer that may help you with it many lenders will work with you even if it means you rent from them rather then own. Also some are getting very creative as far as the loans go. So there may still be hope but you need local help. You have to figure out where you stand in this divorce thing. Who has jurisdiction etc. There was ALOT of basic information in the links I provided about how divorce works in general terms over there. So either way you can stay informed. Have you tried calling the American consulate over there and see if they have any suggestions for you ? There may be some form of legal aid in the netherlands that will work with you also. From what I have read they are big on spousal support so it might be worth a shot. You need to focus more and still keep your eyes open to all oppertunities.

Ive called over there and they won't help me because I live here in the US. The bank is willing to work with us, but the house is only in is name and he is almost impossible to get a hold of.. he is willing to sign the house over to me, but I don't see the point if I can't keep it..
I'm reading up right now online about different ways to sign up with one of the new plans to help people with keeping their houses..