[rosebud135]

Well this might be long. Read it all I really need help..
Okay so I had this friend about a year ago. We stopped being friends because she ed me over countless times. We dated twice but both times I didn't really have relationship feelings for her... Now that we haven't talked for over a year I miss her so much and want to at least be friends.. But here's the problem.. My boyfriend won't let me be friends with her because he thinks that she will hit on me and her doesn't want to lose me.. But I don't know if I want to be with him.I love him but its just not working. And the chick has a girlfriend and she's one of my good friends. I mean I had her first but then again I dumped her both times and I keep telling myself that she's not worth my time.. But really when we were friends she was my best friend. Me and her were so close even though we fought all the time.. I don't know what to do...

[Jake2008]

I presume you are bi then?

Doesn't really matter anyway. The friend you had, treated you poorly, you had only two dates with her, but no relationship feelings. A year goes by, and you want to be friends with her again, and I have to wonder- why. Why would you set yourself up to be a friend to a person that wasn't a friend in the first place.

The second issue here is you are unsure of your relationship with your boyfriend. You love him, but the relationship is not working out.

I get the impression that you are considering dumping your boyfriend, for the possiblitiy of a relationship with the old girlfriend?

You need to get over one relationship, before you jump into another one, whether it is with the friend, or anybody else.

Where you are now, and who you are with, now, is what you have to figure out. You are not in a position to take on any new relationship, until you have decided what to do with your boyfriend. Give yourself time to go through the process of starting over, if you decide to leave him.

Deal with things, one at a time. In fairness to your boyfriend, and also in order to really be free to develop a relationship with another person.

[rosebud135]

I presume you are bi then?

Doesn't really matter anyway. The friend you had, treated you poorly, you had only two dates with her, but no relationship feelings. A year goes by, and you want to be friends with her again, and I have to wonder- why. Why would you set yourself up to be a friend to a person that wasn't a friend in the first place.

The second issue here is you are unsure of your relationship with your boyfriend. You love him, but the relationship is not working out.

I get the impression that you are considering dumping your boyfriend, for the possiblitiy of a relationship with the old girlfriend?

You need to get over one relationship, before you jump into another one, whether it is with the friend, or anybody else.

Where you are now, and who you are with, now, is what you have to figure out. You are not in a position to take on any new relationship, until you have decided what to do with your boyfriend. Give yourself time to go through the process of starting over, if you decide to leave him.

Deal with things, one at a time. In fairness to your boyfriend, and also in order to really be free to develop a relationship with another person.

I want her in my life again because we have been through so much together good and bad. More bad then good but she has always apologized to me. This last time she tried and I wouldn't go for it. She hurt me so bad that I wanted the worst for her. But I always seem to think about her and I always have dreams about her and I just can't get her out of my head. I know if I would break up with my boyfriend I would deff take time because we have been together for a year but I just can't take this anymore. I think about her more than my own boyfriend...

[Jake2008]

Is it possible that things are so bad with your boyfriend, that she looks like a better option?

Being unhappy in one relationship, and going on hope that there is still hope for the girl that you sound obsessed with, is like going from the frying pan into the fire.

I hope that right now, you think seriously about what you want. You have to be fair to your boyfriend, and let him go if the relationship is over. Then spend some time on your own two feet, before you jump into any other relationship.

If you go right into a new relationship with baggage fresh from the last one, and then expect that somehow the new one will magically work out, it won't. I don't know how old you are, or how much experience you've had in serious relationships, but, the most important thing you can do for yourself is move on, under your own steam.

Take time to be independent, and self-sufficient; in other words, be in a position of strength, not in a position of need. Call your own shots, and try not to base them on what 'could' be, or what 'should' be.

The only person you can really count on to make your life happy, is yourself.