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Betty12 · Sep 2, 2009, 02:31 AM

Hi all

I was in a bar about a week ago and I started chatting to a group of guys. One particular guy took my eye and we started chatting, but the whole time I was thinking that I knew him from somewhere. I then realised that he was a friend's ex boyfriend. They had dated for a couple of years in their early 20's and broke up not long after I met my friend. So I had only met this guy a couple of times. We are now 30, so that was about 8 years ago.

So I told him when I realised where I knew him from. We continued to chat throughout the night but the whole time I was holding back thinking... I am so attracted to you, we have so much in common, but you are my friend's ex boyfriend.

Ever since then I have not been able to get him out of my head and I would really like to catch up with him again.

Should I just try and forget about the whole encounter or should I catch up with him and see if there really is something worth pursuing?

My friend is now married with children, so has certainly moved on and I know she has caught up with this guy a couple of times since the breakup to clear the air, but they have not kept in close contact.

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

amicon · Sep 2, 2009, 02:51 AM

Your friend s married and it was over many years ago so I don't think you d be wrong in trying to find out if this is someone you might want to date.you could always have a word with your friend first.

kctiger · Sep 2, 2009, 05:25 AM

Everyone is someone's ex... I would catch up with him on a date. Sure it would be polite to tell your friend about it first but I don't think it has to be done that way. If you two really hit it off and become exclusive I would tell your friend so she isn't taken off guard.

Go for it! Have fun and try not to sweat the small stuff.

I wish · Sep 2, 2009, 06:28 AM

You've been very respectful to your friend by keeping your guard. Why not continue being respectful by telling her about this encounter first. I'm sure she would appreciate your openness. Once that's done, you should definitely follow up on your date to see if there's some potential. Good luck!

talaniman · Sep 2, 2009, 08:11 AM

Your adults, not teeny boppers. You owe her nothing as she is married now, and has nothing to say about what you do and with whom.

Being she is a friend though, it would be a courtesy to mention it, but not an obligation, besides, why should she care?