[Nussayba]

Hello

Im writing here because Im really desperate.
I started my PhD thesis in October 2003 and should have finished by June 2008.In June I asked for an extension until 30th Nov. In October 2003 I already had a 3-month oldbaby. I had another one in December 2004 and now Im 5-month pregnant with my third. Im married and my husband does all what he can to help. Even now he has sent the children to our original country for a few weeks to help me work. Even nom he thinks Im studying. Im sitting in the desk with my brand new laptop, Ive even got a session on Windows parental block to prevent me going on : pregnancy forums, news websites and email! But whenever I open my chapter 4 document I just can't write anything on it. I feel stupid. I feel Im wasting everybody's time. The other thing is I haven't told my supervisor about this third pregnancy, what I wanted was to finish chapters 4 , 5 and 6 by the end of August (we set that out in July) and then in September when we meet she would see my bump but the work would be done. Only problem though: its nearly the end of August and there's just nothing done!! So I will have to announce Im pregnant and there will be NO WORK DONE! Im really anxious I think she's going to despair about me ever finishing with all these babies. Children were always very important to me, Im 29 and didn't want to start after 30 and many other people without children take 5 years to finish anyway. But in my case Im just starting to despair... Why can't Ijust write? I feel like I can neverenjoy writing, and I can never enjoy my pregnany even though it was highly desired. Im really lost and desperate and I feel like Im lying to my husband by not working when he sets out amounts of time for me to work in. Can somebody advise me? I cannot turn to anybody in my school asI don't want anybody to know Im pregnant again... What can I do?

[abbey_p]

I know exactly how you're feeling. I got pregnant with my first baby in my second year of PhD... I was so exhausted, had terrible morning sickness and braxton hicks throughout that I just couldn't get motivated to do the labwork! I spent all day checking emails, reading the news, researching pregnancy... anything but work on my PhD. After six months off for maternity leave I returned fully motivated and got some really good work done! BUT, four weeks ago, and 4 months after I just started back, I found out I was pregnant again! I now have seven months (at least) of labwork left to do (if I manage to complete it in time) and then the write up, oh and I'll be having a baby in seven months. Feel exactly the same as I did in my first pregnancy, just can't get anything done! I haven't told my supervisor as he really didn't want me to return to finish my studies after my first baby! I am under so much pressure to complete the labwork before the baby arrives, but the more time goes by the more I think I'll never get it done, especially since I'm juggling childcare, PhD work, housework etc!
I wish I had some advise for you, but all I can say is simply this... you are not alone! You sound like a very hardworking, committed person who rightfully wants to be able to have a family and a career, and that is an amazing achievement in itself. Maybe take a step back, set yourself some achievable work goals, tell your supervisor your plan and how much you require her support and enjoy the time you spend with your family. Try not to worry about things like housework, get plenty of quality sleep and when you feel yourself wanting to look at pregnancy forums etc, take a real break from the computer and return when you feel refreshed and ready to work. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you!! :-)