[crisluvsu731]

My boyfriend lately has been telling me things that I do to annoy him. It really hurts my feelings. Is that a sign of him getting tired of me?

[redhed35]

This is good!

Its communation.

So he is pointing out a few things that are bugging him,how long have you been together?

When you know what's going on in his head you can talk about it and find middle ground.
Sit him down and talk!

Don't go off on a rant,remind him gently that he is also human and most of the stuff that annoys us about boyfriends and partners is surface stuff.
Does he care for you?
Does he consider you?
Does he make time for you?
Does he respect you?

Those things are important.

There may be another cause for this,outside pressures and stress.

Again talk to him,if he wants to finish the relationship,so be it.
If its something else,possibly you can find middle ground and work it out.

[Ash123]

Can u be more specific?
What is he complaining about?

[crisluvsu731]

Well, we have been together for 2 years. He is 27 and I am 22.

[s_cianci]

It could be. It could also be a warning of sorts. What kinds of things does he tell you? And why does it really hurt your feelings? Are these things that "annoy" him legitimate reasons to be annoyed or not? There's always a fine line between being who you are and respecting the needs and feelings of others. Some people have difficulty maintaining that line. That may be a sign that you're just not compatible. More details would be helpful in giving you a more comprehensive answer.

[redhed35]

Hey,going by your other threads,there is more going on in your relationship then just him saying he in annoyed with some stuff.

I suggest a counselor or call it quits.

[crisluvsu731]

Saying that how I use certain words in a way that he doesn't like. And he says that it must be a thing from the south. We are in cali and I am from Oklahoma. So, here is an example that happened yesterday.

I work at a bank and my friend came to open an account to help with my refferals. Well, she came up here at the end of the day. So when I got off work, she stayed and we sat there talking. Well, my boyfriend sent me a text asking if I was on my way home from work yet. I said no, I am sitting up here visiting with Jen. When I get home, he gets on my case, saying how I used visiting is the wrong way and starts defining it for me. And he said that I am always doing that and it annoys the hell out of him. It must be an Oklahoma thing.

Did I really do something that annoying? I looked it up while he was complaining and it does mean what he was saying, but in an informal definition, it means how I was using it.

[redhed35]

Let me get this straight.

You used the word 'visiting' in the wrong context,and it... annoyed him!

If this is the type of thing that annoys him,how does he manage serious issues!

I don't think that's an Oklahoma thing, I think it's a whatever planet he's from thing.

[crisluvsu731]

But that doesn't make me annoying to a normal person, does it?

[amicon]

Of course it doesn't! But sorry I think you need to have a serious talk with your man.

[redhed35]

But that doesn't make me annoying to a normal person, does it?

Depends on what you consider 'normal'

But,I think to most people it would not cause enough stress to point it out.


OK,this is an example of what my boyfriend does that I find annoying..
While watching TV he channel hops,and hops and hops,never leaving anything on or even going back to the original programme.

Does it stress me out,to the point where I make a point of it. no.
I pick up a book,and read while he plays with the remote.
Its not a dealbreaker.

If this nit picking is causing pressure on your relationship,talk about it,or let him to suck it up.

[crisluvsu731]

I have, several times. We are in therapy and I just got him to start anti-depressants. And I am on them as well. It doesn't make a difference. I don't know what to do anymore. I have started thinking that maybe he isn't the right one for me. I like mtv and he likes discovery channel. He nags me about what I watch, I don't say anything to him about what he watches. I feel sometimes that there isn't anything I can do to not annoy him in some way shape or form.

[Ash123]

The way to handle it is to not be SILENT.

A guy does not want to walk all over you... He is annoyed but needs to know he can speak his mind and you will speak yours - as long as it's civil.

Just say, "That's how we do it in Oklahoma darlin'...I don't get on your case for saying DUDE so much....now simmer down and let's go have some fun."

It's attractive to see you enjoy being yourself and speaking up without being shattered by his words... try it... if you like him, you all need to practice honest but not rude communication. If he is twit, and complains all the time... maybe take a break and see how he likes that.

[none12345]

Can't be with someone that you find annoying, you let them know so the two can get along better. That's how I see it.

[Homegirl 50]

I'm not that understanding.
He's 27 you're 22. While you are both adults you are at two different levels and stages. He may need or want to be with someone older.
Personally, I think he's nit picking and being rude and manipulative.
You are still young and life can be short. You have been with this guy since you were 20 he 25. If he is that annoyed, he can leave you, or he can stay with you and make himself feel good by cutting you down.
I'd leave him.
Don't start your adult life taking insulting abusive crap from men, especially older ones.


If he finds the way you talk annoying, what are you supposed to do? What if the way you walk is annoying? This is crap. I think he wants out.

Has he always been like this?

[crisluvsu731]

Yes, he has.

[s_cianci]

It sounds like he's got some serious issues. To make a federal case of the context in which you use a word is off the deep end if you ask me. I'd run from this one and never look back.

[crisluvsu731]

It's easier said than done though. I do love him very much. I am in love with him.

[Homegirl 50]

yes, he has.

Then girl, cut it loose. The relationship is dysfunctional.
He likes making you feel bad and you let him.
It's time to get out of this mess.

[crisluvsu731]

Easier said than done. He doesn't do it that much. I had a talk with him lastnight and told him how it hurt my feelings and he appologized and said that he is going to work on it.