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all fired up · Aug 31, 2009, 11:36 AM

We all know right from wrong, but what happens when a mother forces an adolescent boy and girl sleep in the same room, separated only by a sheet. I am not talking about a night here and there. This is the sleeping arrangement in the house. As a father I can not believe this is right or should be tolerated. Are there any laws in Wisconsin that prohibit this activity. PLease let me know. Thank You

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 31, 2009, 12:10 PM

Are they siblings? What are their ages?

all fired up · Aug 31, 2009, 12:18 PM

My son is 11 and my daughter is 16. Yes they are sibblings

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 31, 2009, 12:42 PM

You are the father, put your foot down if you don't like the arrangement. At those ages they certainly need their own beds, and preferably their own rooms. Especially the girl, at 16 she is growing fast and needs her privacy.

all fired up · Aug 31, 2009, 12:55 PM

I agree, when I approached their mother she said it was non of my business. I contacted my attorney and the guardian, but the judge will not see the case unless the kids are in harms way. What do you call what is going on. The sheet I spoke of was a divider in the room. They are not sleeping in the same bed. I wanted to make that clear. Either way it is still wrong.

stevetcg · Aug 31, 2009, 01:24 PM

While you may not agree with it (and neither do I) it is not against the law. Which is why the judge will not hear the case.

cdad · Aug 31, 2009, 02:41 PM

So what's the real problem here ? Is it that your ex can't afford a larger place ? It sounds like they have worked out something they can live with for the moment. They are sleeping separate.

J_9 · Aug 31, 2009, 02:46 PM

Unfortunately, not all people can afford a larger home. As long as the childrens' needs are met and there is no danger to them, then there is little you can do aside from petitioning the court for custody.

Silverfoxkit · Aug 31, 2009, 03:06 PM

If there is not enough rooms for an arrangement that allows each a separate room then perhaps you could come to at least a compromise with the mother. Since they must have at least a double sized bed, perhaps you could take it out and replace it with two single sized beds so they can have their own bed since they can't have a private room. If the room is very small, maybe even get them a bunkbed. A bunkbed futon could be nice and fit their needs better.

twinkiedooter · Aug 31, 2009, 03:09 PM

The one source you could call for the proper information regarding this situation would be the county zoning department. Here in Ohio each child must have their own room if they are of the opposite sex. That situation you inquire about would not be allowed in this county, I know for a fact. You may just find out that arrangement their mother has stubbornly adhered to is illegal. The zoning department will send out someone to physically investigate if that particular arrangement is not allowed by the county they reside it. For their sake I sure hope it is not allowed. Give them a call and put your mind at rest at least you did everything you could in your power to stop this.

J_9 · Aug 31, 2009, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by Silverfoxkit

they can have their own bed since they can't have a private room.

Ahhhem... if you read all of the posts you will notice that they share the same room, not the same bed. There is a sheet separating the beds.

hammer027 · Aug 31, 2009, 04:02 PM

Sounds like u need to do some digging. Maybe with the help of an attorney. Although I'm not sure about the law in Wisconsin there is a state law in tn that says 2 or more children of opposite sexes must have different rooms. Separating males from females. Take a trip to a local library or talk to your attorney about it.

hheath541 · Aug 31, 2009, 04:11 PM

Do the children mind sharing a room?

cdad · Aug 31, 2009, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by hammer027

Sounds like u need to do some digging. Maybe with the help of an attorney. Although I'm not sure about the law in wisconsin there is a state law in tn that says 2 or more children of opposite sexes must have different rooms. Separating males from females. Take a trip to a local library or talk to your attorney about it.

Can you post a link to this law that you say is there? I can't seem to find it anywhere.

ScottGem · Aug 31, 2009, 08:01 PM

I was ready to side with you after reading your initial post. But then you mentioned that they slept in separate beds with a sheet to afford privacy. That is a VERY different story from your OP.

I also wonder at what you have left out from this story. For example, no where do you mention how many bedrooms are in the living quarters? Or the mother's ability to afford a larger place! You don't say how long this arrangement has been going on. Or is there any suspicion of impropriety between the two.

A 16 yr old girl sharing a bed with an 11 yr old boy is a problem. A 16 yr old girl sharing a bedroom with an 11 yr old boy where some attempt has been made to give them privacy is much less of a problem.

Instead of harassing the mother about this, what have you done to help the situation? Have you offered to pay more support so they can afford a larger place? If you can't afford to do that, how about buying a set of privacy screens? You can get a larger heavier screen to go between the two beds and smaller screens to screen off a corner to provide a private changing area.

My point here is that there are solutions available here that do not involve getting the mother in trouble with the court or legal system.

The fact that you leave so much out of your posts suggests to me that you care more about getting the mother in trouble then you care about the kids.

I'm assuming here that you live apart from the mother.