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SPARTAN33 · Aug 30, 2009, 06:46 PM

Hello everyone,

So here is my story and what I need help on.
There is this girl I met her online about 5 years ago now. We are very compatible I think. From the moment she came into my life I have yet to find a girl who lives in my city that can compare to how she supports me and cares for me.

I have dated my share of women and every time I'm in a relationship I always feel closer to my friend who lives in the states. (I reside in Edmonton she is in seattle)
Most girls I have dated are actually jealous of her. Just because they see how close we are and how much she knows about me... but hey we have known each other for 5 years right so she should know more than a girl I just met.

Anyway... So I can honestly say I love her and I want to be with her. My one problem though is... well the distance. How do you get something like this to work? Cause Me and her have been along time in the making and now that we have decided to date long distance I do not want to mess it up. I'm sure this is not an easy thing to do

So any advice on what to do to help keep things going steady would be great. This is my first long distance that's this serious. I tried before but it was nothing compared to me and her. She loves me and I love her so I do not want to see this get messed up.

I have always been one to do stuff in my life that is hard cause I have always found the reward to be so great. That's why we are together now. Cause we have had lovers and everything but we just never got anything out of these people we dated. I honestly think It might be destiny that we are together cause We always end up longing for each other.

So yeah any advice on how to keep a long distance relationship would be great :)

ohsohappy · Aug 30, 2009, 06:52 PM

Just nkeep doing what you're doing! You're on the right track already! Just stay away from other women and you'll be fine. Also, try and see if you can't find the time to go visit her! :)

SPARTAN33 · Aug 30, 2009, 06:59 PM

I plan on going down to Seattle to see her on sept12 of which we will watch a NFL game haha.

Telling her that I love her is one of the best things I have done latley. I'll make sure to stay away from other girls for sure :)

Thanks for the advice.

ohsohappy · Aug 30, 2009, 07:01 PM

Haha no problem. :) I really do think you're on the right track. :) You've got something good!

SPARTAN33 · Aug 30, 2009, 07:04 PM

Just got to stick it out and work with what we got and stuff eh.

I'm just nervous of the distance getting to be too much. Its kind of why we never dated before because I thought personally the distance was to great

But I don't think any distance can stop love. And if its meant to be then we will work it out. :)

What are some things I could do to like surprise her. Cause I really like buying presents and surprising women in my life. So of course I want her to experince that to. Any tips on ways to surprise someone who doesn't live here?

ohsohappy · Aug 30, 2009, 07:13 PM

Try sending her baskets or flowers to her home and work with handwritten letters. :) She'll love them.

SPARTAN33 · Aug 30, 2009, 07:26 PM

Good call. I mean I would do that for a girl here... so It only would make sense to do that for her then. Haha ahh I'm getting pretty excited about us being together haha... wait I am really excited. :)

I really want this to work. We both deserve this.

Just Looking · Aug 30, 2009, 08:27 PM

I had an 18 month long distance relationship (1800 miles apart). The important thing is to keep the connection going by frequent phone calls, e-mails, chats, and visits when you can. Always be respectful by not getting involved with other women, and not giving her any reason to doubt you. Do what you say you will do. Be consistent. Let her know how you are feeling. Have short-term and long-term plans. Be honest about your expectations and hopes for the future. At some point, you have to decide if this really is the one and plan where you are going to live together. I don’t know how old you are or where you are in life. I was too young at the time to make a lifetime commitment as I still had a couple of years of school left (grad school) and wasn’t ready to settle down. Still, it was a great relationship that I look back on with fond memories.

You might try to find something you can do together that is enjoyable, but doesn’t have to be in person. We both enjoyed writing, so we would write stories or poems to each other. For his birthday, I put all the stories together along with a new one I had written (a very detailed 40 pages long), added pictures, bound it, and mailed it to him along with some other things. If you can find something special like that, it really helps.

I wish · Aug 31, 2009, 06:08 AM

I think what would help is an end date of the long distance aspect. Is there a day sometime in the future where you will be living in the same city? If things are too much in the air, it adds tension to the relationship, because there's too many insecurities.

Otherwise, just keep talking to her. Keeping in touch constantly is a very important part of a long distance relationship, because you lack the physical aspect. On the bright side, if gives both of you the chance to really get to know each other's personality and thoughts.