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usertalkreal · Aug 30, 2009, 01:18 PM

Hi my name is tommy from Ca!! OK two things, I now have a 1 year old baby girl who lives with the mother.I took her to court for dna child support and visitation .The dna test came back and the results came back that she was mine OK.So the judge made me and the mother of the baby go to the courts facilitator's office and try to come to agreement.SO we came up with A 200$ a month and we made it a temporary agreement.I wanted to come back and work on the visitation part on and after we talk about it on a later date which was made clear.But I had no idea that they give me 5.00 percent visitation with baby in the formal report.How much is 5.00 percent of visitation?So I had told the jugde this was not what I wanted and she sent us to Mediation and does that mean the temporary agreement still holds up?And two How does Mediation! Work?I now live 3 hours from my baby and I want to have weekend visitation and she has told me no every time and she just wants me to see our baby over her house for a few hours for now on. She has a drug record going back from 2006 and a warrant for being under a contrilled substance and she says she is about to move on her own can I bring this up in Mediation?I just hope she does not go back to doing sh-- like that?

ScottGem · Aug 30, 2009, 02:19 PM

Until an agreement is ratified by the court, its subject to change. If you are both still agreeable to the support amount, then just don't discuss that again. Just focus on visitation.

A mediator is there to help the two sides come to a mutually agreeable compromise.

usertalkreal · Aug 30, 2009, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Until an agreement is ratified by the court, its subject to change. If you are both still agreeable to the support amount, then just don't discuss that again. Just focus on visitation.

A mediator is there to help the two sides come to a mutually agreeable compromise.

So she want to change it and I don't how do I keep the money to where it is now?

cdad · Aug 30, 2009, 02:41 PM

First off mediation is only about custody. It doesn't involve child support matters. That's what the courts are about. In Calif its mandatory for you to attend and its not session after session its pretty much a 1 time deal. Can last up to 1 hrs time. Once you have the custody straightened out then you have the amount of time with your child. The Calif court system only counts overnights. So be careful with that. When you know how much time you have then you can use a online calculator to figure out your child support. Its by formula and not just a straight percentage.

usertalkreal · Aug 30, 2009, 02:44 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

First off mediation is only about custody. It doesnt involve child support matters. Thats what the courts are about. In Calif its mandatory for you to attend and its not session after session its pretty much a 1 time deal. Can last up to 1 hrs time. Once you have the custody straightened out then you have the amount of time with your child. The Calif court system only counts overnights. So be careful with that. When you know how much time you have then you can use a online calculator to figure out your child support. Its by formula and not just a straight percentage.

Thanks my friend!! How does my 3 hour drive come into play with my babygirl for over nights?

cdad · Aug 30, 2009, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by usertalkreal

Thanks my friend!!!!!How does my 3 hour drive come into play with my babygirl for over nights?

Mostly that's going to depend on when it is. Its very hard for the child when attending school to get up so early and make a 3 hour trip. Let alone an additional 3 hours to return home. So unless you plan on moving closer or she closer to you you might want to focus on weekends and block time in the summer as well as rotated holidays ( odd / even ).

They should have given you paphlets already to look over so you know how to speak correctly to each other etc while attending mediation.

usertalkreal · Aug 30, 2009, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Mostly thats going to depend on when it is. Its very hard for the child when attending school to get up so early and make a 3 hour trip. Let alone an additional 3 hours to return home. So unless you plan on moving closer or she closer to you you might want to focus on weekends and block time in the summer as well as rotated holidays ( odd / even ).

They should have given you paphlets already to look over so you know how to speak correctly to each other etc while attending mediation.

Well they well send me everything because will be going in Nov.And my child is 1 year old.And she is trying to get me to just see her 3 hours for now on.

usertalkreal · Aug 30, 2009, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

First off mediation is only about custody. It doesnt involve child support matters. Thats what the courts are about. In Calif its mandatory for you to attend and its not session after session its pretty much a 1 time deal. Can last up to 1 hrs time. Once you have the custody straightened out then you have the amount of time with your child. The Calif court system only counts overnights. So be careful with that. When you know how much time you have then you can use a online calculator to figure out your child support. Its by formula and not just a straight percentage.

So what do I do about this temporary agreement of 200$ A month we have agree on a non-guideline child support does this still hold up?

cdad · Aug 30, 2009, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by usertalkreal

So what do I do about this temporary agreement of 200$ A month we have agree on a non-guideline child support does this still hold up?

For right now its all you have until you change it later in court. They don't like making modifications in the middle of things. What did they say you have for visitation at this time ?

Because it sounds like they gave you some overnights ?

usertalkreal · Aug 30, 2009, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

For right now its all you have until you change it later in court. They dont like making modifications in the middle of things. What did they say you have for visitation at this time ?

Because it sounds like they gave you some overnights ?

No I know for a fact they never gave me overnights.I told the judge I want overnight and she said we had to go for Mediation.

cadillac59 · Aug 30, 2009, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by usertalkreal

No I know for a fact they never gave me overnights.I told the judge I want overnight and she said we had to go for Mediation.

There is no reason you can't have overnights. Tell the mediator you want it and you should get it. Period. You're the dad, not some marginal figure in the kid's life.
And the judge was right-- he or she cannot give you overnights or any visitation until you go to mediation. After that the judge can do whatever she likes, even disregard the recommendations of the mediator if she wishes (because she's the judge).