[Emyth]

I'm writing this as a stress relief, as I just got off the phone with my girlfriend of 10 months.

I met her almost a year ago online. We met in person two months after we started talking on the phone and over messenger. As it turned out, we live in neighboring states only 4 and a half hours apart. I do love her, very much ~ we were both crazy about each other since the first day we met.


Her and I live very different lives, in different family settings. My family is really orientated but private, and very lenient as far as 'caring what you do'. For example, they support my decisions to go and visit my girlfriend and have confidence that it won't effect me academically.

Her family is very, unforgiving of her decisions. Whenever she decides to visit me; she is immediately lectured about ' responsibility ' and how she's making a terrible choice, how she should be focusing on getting a second job ~ the whole nine yards.


We have lived together for 5 months; until she decided that it was time for her to move back to be closer to family. So she did, and we are now once again 4 and a half hours apart. It still makes me smile every time I get mail in her name.

We speak on the phone every day, and do the web cam and voice chat thing, even play an online game on occasion. But the physical part of it is still missing.

We make it a habit to visit each other at least once every two weeks, but lately it's been hard and unaffordable.

She is very sensitive, and on certain medicines to help her cope with anxiety and depression. Things were fine when living together though there were times when I had to hold her and tell her everything's would be all right, and it was.

Lately things have been getting worse. With her family hating the idea of her visiting me, and the two of us often unable to afford the cost; things are stressful.

It's been 2 weeks since we've last hugged, it feels much longer. And I'm sure it's even worse for her because of her condition. I try to be strong for the both of us, and because of that, it's misinterpreted as me not caring.. which really hurts when she thinks that.. because she's the world to me.

Many people live their lives in means to gain the promises of what's awaiting them in the here after.

I live my life for her, to gain the promises of our future together.



However. This situation upsets me. I'll keep everyone updated with more perhaps.

This is my first post so please understand if I've colored outside of the lines in some way. ( didn't post by the rules or something )

[paxe]

Living your life for her is a big NO-NO. In any relationship you should live your life for yourself and dating should be like a bonus. The fact that it makes your long-distance relationship hard is that you don't seem to have a set up plan with your girlfriend. You should probably talk to her about your future and ask her what you should do together ( aka how long are you planning to stay apart? ).

[Emyth]

Living your life for her is a big NO-NO. In any relationship you should live your life for yourself and dating should be like a bonus. The fact that it makes your long-distance relationship hard is that you don't seem to have a set up plan with your girlfriend. You should probably talk to her about your future and ask her what you should do together ( aka how long are you planning to stay apart? ).

Seriously did you even read anything in my post?

We talk all the time, and yes we've discussed future plans from the near to far. I appreciate your insight to some degree, but I don't see how ' Dating other people ' is a bonus while I'm in a committed relationship with some one who's only a couple hours away.

I just arrived from a nice vacation with her and her family, spent 2 weeks in a cabin 40 minutes outside of canada with 11 of her family members and had an insane amount of fun.

Why would I want to "Bonus Date" when I've found the love of my life?

[paxe]

When you say in your post, "I live my life for her, to gain the promises of our future together", that is completely wrong, even if everything is good. This will only lead to disaster BELIEVE ME.

I'm not saying that you need a bonus date, I mean that you should view dating someone as a bonus in your life. Everybody should be seldom happy with themselves alone and if someone comes along well great! If not then great also because we are happy alone, right?

You're having emotional problems and I'm just giving advice. If you put anybody on a pedestal and live for them... they most probably won't live for you.