[vispa]

Me and my BF have been together for almost 5 years. I serve in the Air Force. Most of the time I'm home, but then I have my deployments. I'm normally gone for 5 weeks at the time and not that often.

My last deployment. I was gone for 5 weeks. When I was coming home, his sister called and asked if she can come to visit on the day I was coming home ( She had a bad break up a couple of month ago). So he told her to make sure it is OK with me. BUT how the hell in the world can I tell his family that it is not OK with me cause I haven't slept in my bed for 5 weeks. And another thing that crossed my mind was " Does he really miss me that he is ok with his sister coming to visit on the day I come home?"

So his siter came. He picked me up at the airport. When we got home, he set on the sofa next to his sister and both were ignoring me. They both didn't speak to me for 3 days. I felt so down that I haven't been home and being ignored like that.

Well, anyway that's the beginning. Another thing that really bothers me is that I have seen him mastrubating many times. I'm up and in bed while he is taking shower, but instead of having sex with me, he mastrubates. This really hurt me; makes me feel so bad about myself. I have a small breast and I have been so embaraced about it always . I want to know why he is doing it. I have asked him many times, but he told me it is a habit. I don't believe that. Maybe he found someone he wants to have sex with, maybe it is me. I just wanted to share and see what people think.

Thanks, for reading and commenting.

[HellHound82]

Its hard to say, there is a good chance that there is nothing wrong, family is verry important I know if my brother had a problem I would let him come talk to me about it anytime... and as far as the masturbation goes yes with some guys it is a habbit, best advice I can give there is if you ever catch him doing it again to go and join him if he refuses to let you do it for him then you may have a problem..

[talaniman]

Don't let your own fears, and insecurities, make you lose the perspective that's healthy. His sister is family, and I think you could join in, instead of move away. You have been gone, and have to adjust to the ordinary lives, of the people you left.

People masturbate, especially given, your gone a lot. Don't take it personally, unless he goes overboard with it.

Realize that you have missed a lot, and need to catch up, and need time to adjust, through some honest communications, and some very real sharing in his life.

I know, you're the one that was gone, but see the whole picture, he was the one that stayed, and had to make his own adjustments to your absence.

Give it some time, and instead of taking things personally, make some adjustments to your expectations, and the way you relate.

Its like learning to talk, and listen, all over again, so you can understand what's going on around you.