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Gazzy · Nov 3, 2006, 10:58 AM

Hey all, thank you so much for reading and commenting as I am a 16 year old very hurt person!

2 Days ago (1st November), I walked my girlfriend back to her house from college as I usually do being the gentleman I am lol! She seemed to be very quiet on the way, so when we got there, I gave her a hug and kiss and told her I love her, and she said same back.

Well, we have been together for 7 and 1/2 months, yesterday (2nd November), as soon as she gets into college and see's me she says we need to talk, as we go to somewhere private she says it's bad news... Then she says she wants to go on a small break to clear her head an have a bit of space, to be honest she's quiet busy, things going on in her house, broken wrist, me, a lot of college assignments and going down to her dads who lives in a different city on some weekends.

Later on that day, around 5 o clock, by luck I suppose, I get to the bus stop as she's getting on a bus, and she calls me to get on the bus quick, so I do, we have a little chatter 'how was your day?' kind of thing. But we were both very silent for most of the time, then I ask her once we get off the bus can we talk, and she nodded yes.

Now we are outside of her house, and I say to her 'It's my fault that you want to go on a break.. ' then she cuts me off and says it ain't, she just needs space. I asked her if she still loves me and she said 'apart of me does, I really really care'. At this point we both have very shiny eyes in the dark 'keeping ourselves from crying lol', and she said I have two options, go on a break, or split up altogether, she said she wants to have a small break to think over what she wants with me. I told her that we should have a break, but on Monday (3 days), she tells me if she has changed her mind, she said 'thats not enough time', so I said OK on Monday tell me if you have changed your mind but if you haven't just tell me you need more time. So then we hugged and parted basically.

I know what I have to do I think, just need a bit more help, on Monday when she tells me that she needs more time which I suppose she will unless she wants to call it off altogether or get back with each other, I am going to ask her 'Do you want this break because you don't want to go out with me anymore or is it because you are very busy with your home, college, wrist and your dads, and alls you need is some space to get your head sorted'. Hopefully she will pick because she is busy. Then I will say OK I won't bother you, I will let you sort out your head and you can take as long as you want, just let me know what your thinking from time to time. I will also tell her to not go for any other lads unless she has totally broke it off with me.

Any other suggestions people? Thank you mucho!!

Depressed in MO · Nov 3, 2006, 11:10 AM

I have a suggestion... let her go. Sounds like she is trying to let you down gently. Take the hint. You are sixteen and she is in college? She is in college-she is experiencing a different world right now. You are so young, and are probably missing out on a lot of experiencing because of your relationship with her. Just give her space and stop giving her time limits to make up her mind because you are only going to push her away. Besides, if you give her the space she is asking for and do your own thing, then that might make her decide that she wants you. But, regardless, please just let her go for now.

Gazzy · Nov 3, 2006, 11:21 AM

Ah I didn't explain good hehe, we are both 16 and we are both in college (I am from the UK).

Depressed in MO · Nov 3, 2006, 11:23 AM

Originally Posted by Gazzy

Ah I didn't explain good hehe, we are both 16 and we are both in college (I am from the UK).

Oh, so sorry about that. You are both young, regardless-so my answer isn't really much different than before (not saying that my answer IS the answer, just my opinion). It only hurts you more by holding on like this, keep yourself busy while she makes up her mind, but stop putting pressure on her to do it. Take a breather... relax. :)

Gazzy · Nov 3, 2006, 12:01 PM

Any other suggestions would be good guys :) One thing though, I am not going to let her go that easy, she's my first love so I ain't going to give up!

I will also ask her to tell me the truth if she is just letting me down gently so I can get on with my life.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 3, 2006, 01:02 PM

Give her the space, no time limits. By constantly asking her what she wants, it is putting too much pressure her and in the end will push her away...

You will be seen as clingy by her if you do this.. Just don't contact her, let her come to you and it may work out for the best for you...

Good Luck.

Gazzy · Nov 3, 2006, 01:04 PM

Thanks mate, I will do as you say :) And hope for the best!

talaniman · Nov 3, 2006, 04:50 PM

16 is 16, in the Uk, or US. That's the time for fun. After 7-8 months, it maybe too early for things to be so serious, given your ages and school commitments. If someone is not ready, then you can't make them ready. Do as she says and give her the break she ask for, with no pressure from you. If she calls and wants you back great... if not, then accept her choice and move on. Live your life without her.

s_cianci · Nov 3, 2006, 05:33 PM

Don't worry too much about why she says she wants a break. Just give her the space she wants. Don't contact her at all and if she contacts you then cut it short. Get busy with your own life doing the things you enjoy. Being happy and content without her is the surest way to possibly get her back. You'll appear much more attractive to her that way than if you beg, plead and cajole. I can't guarantee any results but I know that's your best shot.

Originally Posted by Gazzy

Any other suggestions would be good guys :) One thing though, I am not going to let her go that easy, she's my first love so I ain't going to give up!

I will also ask her to tell me the truth if she is just letting me down gently so I can get on with my life.

Your first statement here is kind of dangerous and will most likely only prove to be self-defeating. An "ain't going to give up" attitude reeks of neediness and insecurity and is the best way to push a woman away from you. Your second sentence should simply read "I will get on with my life", period. Don't worry about asking her to "tell you the truth." Even if you did, there's no guarantee that she will. Remember, women feel, they don't "think" in the same manner that a man does. Asking a woman to articulate herself in this manner is like asking an ice cube not to melt in July. Also, because women are creatures of feeling, the believe that it is more important fro them to spare your feelings rather than "tell you the truth", so to demand that she do so is fruitless and won't get you the result you want.

Gazzy · Nov 3, 2006, 05:56 PM

Thanks for your comments, I guess all's I have to do now is on Monday when she talks to me, I'll just say "take as long as you need to get your head sorted and I'll give you the space you need, when you're ready, you know what to do."

I'll keep you all posted on what happens :)

Gazzy · Nov 4, 2006, 01:33 PM

God this is killing me! I just want to talk to her so much! But I know I can't if I want it to work out like I want, anyone got anymore suggestions about this or how to make myself feel better?

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 5, 2006, 05:33 AM

Gazzy,

Sorry to hear that this is getting you down. I understand, I am going through similar torture, but for me, I was with my ex for 3 years and engaged to her and she broke it off 2 months ago. I'm not saying that your situation is not as bad as mine because you obviously do have strong feelings for her, I am just saying that it is understandable how hard it is for you.

You need to give it more time, you have not given it enough time AT ALL.. I broke up with my ex 2 months ago, first 2 weeks, contact, trying to get her back... Does not work, then no contact for 6 weeks, still no contact, she knows where I am right?

I would give anythuing to have her back but the truth is I am having to accept that she probably won't be back no matter what I do, contact her or not...

I am not saying that she won't come back to you because it is still early days but the only thing you can do is keep yourself busy and not contact her..

There is nothing, NOTHING, you can say that will push her into wanting to be with you again.. She needs to make her own mind up, no pressures from anyone..

I really feel for you man, because I know the you are going through and I really do hope that it works out for the best for you!!

Don't think however that by creating any false hope by waiting is going to help because there is also a chance that she won't be back.. Keep your options open!!

I really hope you follow this advice because it is so easy to ignore what others say and follow your own instincts which are always driven by what you want to happen but not based on how you should realistically handle the situation...

Oh, forgot to say, you are 16 right?? Great, I am 26, When I was your age, I was going out and having a whale of a time, having fun, a great time to get on and experience the world... I'm not an old codger yet LOL, should be doing that now... Point is, you have fun and good things will happen..

Sorry if I am rambling but hopefully, there is at least one good point here that will help...

talaniman · Nov 5, 2006, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by Gazzy

God this is killing me! I just want to talk to her so much! But I know I can't if I want it to work out like I want, anyone got anymore suggestions about this or how to make myself feel better?

It is so normal for a break-up to bring out a lot of hurt and pain. As others have said staying busy and doing the things you like is a good way to start putting those feelings behind you. If this is the first true love the first few months will be agony. You must work through this process to ge to a place where you can see things clearly and deal with the emotions. Stay on the path.

Gazzy · Nov 5, 2006, 06:42 AM

Yeah you guys right, even though I don't want you to be you are lol. What I don't get is she says she still loves me, but wants a small break, not sure how long small is. I'll try and stay away from her, let her come to me, maybe she will see what she's missing. :)

I will probably see her tomorrow, as we are on the same course in college, but not in the same class... But times are the sameish... I'll just stay clear, and let her come to me if she does.

She also said to me the other night, if we proper split up you ain't going to speak to me ever again are you, and I just nodded. She didn't seem happy with that.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 5, 2006, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by Gazzy

She also said to me the other night, if we proper split up you ain't going to speak to me ever again are you, and I just nodded. She didn't seem happy with that.

Try not to read into things too much Gazzy and be careful about how much you try and be around her, avoiding places where she is going to be will be better.

JoeCanada76 · Nov 5, 2006, 10:36 AM

No such thing as a small break.

Gazzy · Nov 5, 2006, 11:12 AM

Thank you guys, if she asks why am I avoiding her or anything, I'll just say you're the one who asked for the space and time to think about things. I don't want to pressure her into making any decision, I'll tell her that if she comes up to me as well.

Tomorrow is judgement day anyway for me lol, as soon as I finish a lesson she is in the room I was in... So I will deffo see her... But I'll just walk right past her and if she makes contact... Well, I'll just look at her an see what she has to say lol.

I only have hope now right? Lol

Thanks all, you're cheering me up with every post :) Keep it up! Hehe!

Also, I don't understand why it was so sudden, everything seemed fine the day before... Then she just dropped a bomb on me the next morning... Was like noooooo! :o

Skell · Nov 5, 2006, 03:59 PM

Yep give her space and leaver her alone.

Chasing her will only pus her away. Trust me here.

Just find as many other things as possible to do to keep your mind off her. Work on yourself. Workout at the gym, run, school etc. School probably should be No. 1 priority.

Your 16, I know it still hurts but enjoy being young. Enjoy yourself and others will enjoy you too!

Gazzy · Nov 5, 2006, 04:07 PM

:) Thanks for the support, if anyone is interested I will tell you what happens tomorrow and stuff, you never know... We might not even talk all.

macman16 · Nov 5, 2006, 05:26 PM

~Hey gazza! My girlfriend on tues 31 oct ( day before u ) also said to me about a "break". We have been going out for 3 mnths nw and she said bascialy what yours said.. she still reali likes me but needs time.. I duno what for she mentioned friends etc. anyway it also hit me pretty hard since we had been getting on so wel! I haven't seen her in nearly a week nw. I have onli spoke to her once on the fne the day aftr as she emailed saying hw she was soz about the night before etc and I quickly rang her and she told me tat she still wants to go out ( although I don't think she means it) but just needs time! I have bascialy dne what she wanted and given her tat space, I am also 16 n she is at my school but I don't intend to bump into her when I go bac on tues , I will let her come to me as others suggested. She broke up wit me so its up to her. I still think though tat she mayb is trying to let me dwn gwntly tats why I am trying nt to c her so when she does tell me wats happening she will have made her mind up once and for al. hpe this has helped u.