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mrswhysall · Aug 26, 2009, 05:33 AM

There is a possibility that I am pregnant. I am 17 years old, I am attending high school and very close to graduating and also hoping to attend college to get my pschology degree. My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage for a few months now and he actually proposed back in June. But he wants to make the proposal official at my graduation. But, him and I have progressed to have sex, unprotected twice and he didn't pull out. He told me that he wants me to be pregnant. But I am not ready to be a mother, nor am I ready to tell my parents that I could possibly be pregnant. However, I also do not believe in abortion or giving my baby up for adoption. So, what do I do? This is a lose/lose situation isn't it? Help?? Any and all advise is helpful.

shazamataz · Aug 26, 2009, 05:41 AM

You will have to wait until your next period would be due and if you miss it take a home pregnancy test.

If it comes up negative and you still do not have a period then it may be time to talk to a doctor.

It can take a few weeks for pregnancy to register so if you can wait until you miss your period it would be best.

If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have unprotected sex.

You need to discuss the issue of you not wanting to fall pregnant yet with your boyfriend, he either:
a) Does not know how you feel
Or
b) Is not concerned about your feelings and is only thinking of himself.

J_9 · Aug 26, 2009, 05:50 AM

I agree with Shaz. You now have to wait until your next period is due.

If you are not ready to be a mother, and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and know what you want in the future. Then just say NO. Sex = pregnancy.

If you are not prepared to be a parent you do not have to engage in unprotected sex.

There are many ways to share intimacy without engaging in intercourse.

Juicy Buns · Aug 26, 2009, 05:54 AM

Firstly, you need to tell your boyfriend to respect the fact that you don't want to be a mother just yet and either pull out, use condoms or abstain completely. You can also go on the pill or injection so YOU are in control of when you become a mother. The doctor won't tell your parents so unless you tell them, they won't know. I'm sure they'll just be pleased you're sensible enough to prevent a pregnancy at your age. Marriage is a little much for you to be considering at your age too, especially when it seems you haven't made your feelings clear about conceiving. You need to have a serious conversation about it with him.
Secondly, I'm glad you said you don't believe in abortion. If you're pregnant you can deal with it so much better these days and trust me, very few people are ready for a child, even if they've been planning it their whole lives. Thankfully, universities are much better equipped for young mums now and have crèches and individual houses, rather than the standard rooms provided, so you needn't miss out on anything you had already planned on doing.
As for telling your parents, I can't help you with that one. I'd advise doing a pregnancy test first to clear things up. Good luck and let us know how it goes =)

Juicy Buns · Aug 26, 2009, 07:12 AM

Yes, it is possible to conceive from precum but have you actually read into it? Research shows the sperm produced in precum is the "reject" sperm, not generally capable of swimming, let alone reaching an egg. As long as he pulls out properly and doesn't ejaculate shortly before having unprotected sex, the chances of becoming pregnant are so slim that they're barely worth mentioning.

shazamataz · Aug 26, 2009, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by Juicy Buns

Yes, it is possible to conceive from precum but have you actually read into it? Research shows the sperm produced in precum is the "reject" sperm, not generally capable of swimming, let alone reaching an egg. As long as he pulls out properly and doesn't ejaculate shortly before having unprotected sex, the chances of becoming pregnant are so slim that they're barely worth mentioning.

Just FYI, J_9 is a nurse, she works/worked in a maternity ward. From what I have read in her posts she has seen many pregnant women who used the pullout method!

Wondergirl · Aug 26, 2009, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by Juicy Buns

As long as he pulls out properly and doesn't ejaculate shortly before having unprotected sex, the chances of becoming pregnant are so slim that they're barely worth mentioning.

Very scientific, like he's really going to be deliberately carefully weighing his movements and controlling the amount and quality of ejaculate, perhaps with a hired sex therapist coach at the bedside.

J_9 · Aug 27, 2009, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by Juicy Buns

Yes, it is possible to conceive from precum but have you actually read into it? Research shows the sperm produced in precum is the "reject" sperm, not generally capable of swimming, let alone reaching an egg. As long as he pulls out properly and doesn't ejaculate shortly before having unprotected sex, the chances of becoming pregnant are so slim that they're barely worth mentioning.

Again, I disagree! You need to do a little more research to convince me... A labor and delivery nurse.

mrswhysall · Sep 3, 2009, 07:49 AM

Ohk, so here is something mildly confusing. I got my period Monday morning and by Tuesday afternoon it was gone. So is there a possibility that was it or is there a possibility I need to take a home pregnancy test QUICK and find out.

BleedingLuv92 · Sep 3, 2009, 09:10 AM

I have recently dealt with a similar issue... only my boyfriend pressured me about abortion. What I would suggest is, if you are pregnant and planning to marry the father of your baby, start taking parenting classes so that you will at least be able to give it a good life. Seventeen is very young to be having a baby, and I remember how scared I was... but if you are against abortion and adoption, then obviously you will have to raise they baby yourself, and you want to provide a stable environment for your child. If you don't think you can do that, you may want to consider an adoption... maybe an open adoption if you will want to keep in contact with your baby.

artlady · Sep 3, 2009, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by Juicy Buns

Yes, it is possible to conceive from precum but have you actually read into it? Research shows the sperm produced in precum is the "reject" sperm, not generally capable of swimming, let alone reaching an egg. As long as he pulls out properly and doesn't ejaculate shortly before having unprotected sex, the chances of becoming pregnant are so slim that they're barely worth mentioning.

If a man has sex and then has sex again within a couple of hours,the first sperm
( pre ejaculate) to leave his penis is the leftover from his previous ejaculation.
Statistically about 27% of women become pregnant by the "pull out " method.

Birth control: Can pre-ejaculation fluid cause pregnancy? - MayoClinic.com

mrswhysall · Sep 4, 2009, 09:24 AM

Ohk; so I got my period this morning. So I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant but just to make sure this isn't a false period I'm taking a pregnancy test as soon a I quit bleeding. Thanks for all the help especially J_9.

Justwantfair · Sep 4, 2009, 09:30 AM

Keep in mind that you can not change a choice after it is made.

Protect yourself, your future and your body when you are not ready to be a mother. Talk to your doctor about birth control immediately.

Good luck to you, you don't want to look back at a mistake after it's happened.

mrswhysall · Sep 4, 2009, 09:32 AM

Yes, thank you. I am going to try and get birth control Tuesday. I appreciate your help. It means a lot to me. And I think its time I have the "im having sex and dont want to get pregnant" talk with my mother and father.

:) thanks a bunch - much love
Ash

Justwantfair · Sep 4, 2009, 09:39 AM

Good for you.
That attitude will get you very far in life and it is very responsible.

Silverfoxkit · Sep 4, 2009, 09:46 AM

I'm glad things have seemed to work out this time around but there are still some things you really need to reflect upon before making a commitment like marriage to your boyfriend. Young marriages can work - but only if both parties are mature enough which is rarely the case.

Your boyfriends attempt at getting you pregnant not only undermines you physically and emotionally but also shows that your boyfriend lacks the maturity and judment required to make a successful marriage.

mrswhysall · Sep 5, 2009, 11:05 PM

Hey its ash. Now I really am starting to freak out. I told my bf/fiance that I'm not ready for this and just because I talk about having kids in the future does not mean I want them now. And he said he completely understands and is sorry that he tried to get me pregnant. He said he thought that I said I was ready. He said he is ready bu if I want to wait that's fine. But my period came then went and kind of came back and was gone again. And then I got this icky brown discharge. My back kills me and my stomach cramps and I get sharp pains through my stomach I'm my belly button and other private areas. What's wrong? My friend had a miscarriage and said she shared some of the same symptoms. What's going on? Did I miscarry? Am I pregnant? Or is stress throwing my period out of whack? Im so confused!! Help?

justcurious55 · Sep 5, 2009, 11:16 PM

I'm sorry if you already told us this, but have you taken a pregnancy test yet? I would go buy one, one of the two packs, tonight if you can. And first thing in the morning take one of them. If it's negative it's hopefully just pms (you're symptoms sound like my pms, but pms and early pregnancy symptoms can often be similar). If you're still worried after that you might be able to have your dr do a blood test to confirm. I know its hard, but try to relax. Take a bath or read a book, something peaceful. If you are pregnant, the stress isn't good for you or the baby. And if you're not pregnant, then like you already know, the stress can throw off your period.