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    BrknHrtdGrl's Avatar
    BrknHrtdGrl Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 24, 2009, 05:10 AM
    Confused on next move.
    Ok.. So I met this guy 5 yrs ago.We have been good friends and one night he asked to come stay with me. I agreed.We slept together and have been for almost a year. Now he is really distant, having some personal issues going on. He is not stable and I am. He was spoiled by me something terrible. I knew his situation and always was a helping hand. Couple months ago he decided that our weekly dinners and gatherings needed to be cut off because "I" was catching feelings. So being a chick I cried and tried to get understanding. Now we rarely speak when we see each other and he told me that the least we could do was be cordial and speak when we saw each other. My thing is I want and need him to be honest and tell me what it is he wants. Whether we will be strictly friends or nothing at all. When I asked him, his response was I don't know what to say to you right now... what does that mean? Granted I called him out on some things prior to me asking him that... Now my question is what should the next move be on my part?

    Additional Info::
    He also told me that he valued our friendship.. he cares about me only as a friend.. all in the same breathe please don't turn your back on me like everybody else...
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Aug 24, 2009, 05:36 AM

    Sounds like he has a problem articulating his feelings and possibly only wants a friendship only. I would leave it at that and wait just to see how far he will let it go after noticing your disinterest. I am not saying, play games, just distance yourself from him for the time being. Possibly all he needs is space and you do too.

    Tick
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Aug 24, 2009, 08:06 AM
    Whatever you had has changed, and YOU need time to process your feelings, and deal with them in a realistic way. He may be ready for friendship, but you are not because you wanted, and expected more, but he doesn't want what you want.

    No more sex with a guy who only wants friendship, and he is letting you down easily, but he is over you.

    He also told me that he valued our friendship.. he cares about me only as a friend..
    That's a pretty clear articulation of his feelings to me.
    all in the same breathe please don't turn your back on me like everybody else...
    That's his way of keeping things the way he wants them, friendly, but make no mistake, you were dumped.
    Confused on next move.
    Leave him alone, so you can get him, and what you, had out of your system. (No Contact) Don't worry about what he wants.

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