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ibleedblue23 · Aug 16, 2009, 08:56 PM

I'm depressed now because I broke the rules of NC. She called and wanted to see me. I went and we talked and I noticed she was wearing the ring I bought her. I thought it was weird but oh well you know. She left and now I'm thinking about her more than ever. She told me that she's happier now and the guy treats her good and she don't want to break his heart. I mean I told her I'm happy for her but she said she knows I want her back. She just keeps apologizing and she don't want to stop talking to me again because she said it made her sad. I don't know what to do anymore.

paxe · Aug 16, 2009, 09:34 PM

Let me get the story straight:
Your ex is with someone else and she wants you to stick around so that SHE is not sad? She is using you and I don't think you are seeing it. Leave her alone and start healing already. You will feel much better very fast.

talaniman · Aug 17, 2009, 08:37 AM

I'm depressed now because I broke the rules of NC.

Go back to NC, and don't break it.

ibleedblue23 · Aug 18, 2009, 07:16 PM

I'm seriously worried about her. She said she don't know why but she hates her life now and she doesn't care about anything. She says she hates her new boyfriend but misses me. She is so angry at everything but me which is pretty weird. I want to help her but don't know how.

CanIBuyAClue · Aug 18, 2009, 08:10 PM

So if that is the case then you should remove yourself from the situation. From what I've gathered reading the couple previous posts... you want your ex back, she is with somebody new, but wants to keep you around. It sounds like you're doing half the work for the new guy. You're becoming the emotional support while he is getting the other stuff that you want. I say disappear and go NC. Maybe she'll realize what she is missing and come back, maybe not. Don't worry about that. Just start doing your own thing, it will help you in the end. I tried pointing out to my ex concerns for her and trying to help her do the best for her, but you can't control people. People are going to do what they want to do, and if they get smacked in the head doing it... it really serves them right. NC and don't break it! It's time to take care of numero uno.

ibleedblue23 · Aug 20, 2009, 08:39 PM

Threads merged

Me and my ex are planning on getting back together. She has a new boyfriend that she is going to break up with to be with me. I don't know how old he is. I'm 18. And I just need some advice on what I should do if he tries to start crap over it. I've never really been in a fight... and I'm 5'11 and 189 pounds. I've never met the guy but I heard he's tall and really skinny.

britEl · Aug 20, 2009, 09:24 PM

Fighting really isn't, and shouldn't be the answer. If your ex is planning on breaking up with him then make sure she does this in a 'nice' way but in a way to let him know it is OVER.
Were you and your ex dating for a while before she started dating this new guy?

ibleedblue23 · Aug 21, 2009, 05:02 AM

You we dated for two years. We had planned on moving in together after she graduated but we started arguing over stupid crap so we eventually broke up

zippit · Aug 21, 2009, 05:10 AM

I was wondering how / why?
She was talking to you intimatly when she was still going out with him and what make you sure she will not do this to you
The adult thing to do in a relationship is break up clean before you have talked to anyone about dating and you should really spend some Me Time to think about the relationship the pro's and con's what you learned from it.
It sounds like you'r past and future girlfriend just jumps in and out of relationships without giving it much thought

superk · Aug 21, 2009, 05:41 AM

So if things won't work with you and her, she'll go back with him- back and forth?

If he hits you then just understand the feeling of being used and cheated on. Call help if he harasses you.

talaniman · Aug 22, 2009, 11:40 AM

You broke up over stupid stuff, she got another b/f, who she goes behind his back, and gets you to take her back, and now your ready to fight over her?!

That's as stupid as it gets young fella, and you better think hard about this, or you will look crazy, and immature. She used him to make you jealous, and she cheated on him. Maybe she was cheating on you too!

What do you gain by fighting over a girl? NOTHING AT ALL. That's what kids do, and your way to old for that aren't you?

ibleedblue23 · Aug 24, 2009, 08:37 PM

Threads merged

OK so me and my ex broke up about five months ago after dating for about two years. Well during that time she dated a guy. We had kept in contact and I told her I wanted her back. She said she had a boyfriend and couldn't. Well they broke up two days ago and yesterday she came over and we had sex and such. We talked about getting back together and that she loved me. Well today she met him to give him his stuff back. She called me afterwards and said she just wanted to be friends. Apparently she's not over him. I just need some advice on what I should do. I love this girl and need her back.

paxe · Aug 24, 2009, 10:20 PM

You don't need her, you don't need anybody to live your life. Basically after breaking up with her boyfriend, she goes to you and you accept her with open arms... I'm feeling there is something wrong there.

As soon as you realize she is using you (consciously or unconsciously) well the sooner you will feel better. You need to go No Contact with her so that you feel better. She told you she just want to stay "friends". Well don't stay even friend with her, she'll get better and you'll get worse, it will only be a repeat of your previous break up.

britEl · Aug 24, 2009, 11:27 PM

You need to get rid of her, she is not good for you. Someone so indecisive is not worth the trouble! Delete her from your life (delete her #, Facebook, myspace, etc) and just don't contact her anymore, I know its hard but it needs to be done you have to get over her so you can start living your life and healing.

kctiger · Aug 25, 2009, 05:48 AM

Both you and her need to get yourselves in order and neither of you should be dating anyone at the moment.

It's amazing how much our emotions get the best of us. Once you think rationally you will see reality.

jmjoseph · Aug 25, 2009, 05:56 AM

Why would you want to be with someone who will break up with one guy two days before she has sex with you? You are a crying shoulder. A crutch. I would suggest moving on. You did OK without her, right? Well, just keep on keeping on.

bella99 · Aug 25, 2009, 06:07 AM

She probably only came over 2 days later to see you because she needed some "emotional support". Right now she is in no condition to go out with anyone - especially not you. You would be her rebound, and that isn't want you want. You want a real relationship with her, which you won't be able to get right now. In essence she would be using you, so she can forget the other guy. You guys would break up, and you would be left at square 1 dealing with this all over again.

Who knows maybe ina few months or years once you are both emotionally sound, a spark might fly that could be real - but right now, you are both emotionally needy, and need to stay away from each other.

talaniman · Aug 25, 2009, 07:03 AM

She is lying, and cheating, on both of you, because your both thinking with your little heads. That's how she bounces so easily between two guys. She wins, you both lose.

Your getting played.

ibleedblue23 · Sep 18, 2009, 09:46 PM

Threads merged

OK so my girlfriend has told me reapetedly recently that she loves abs. well lets face it I don't have abs but she looks at me and says I need to get some. I want to get them for her but I'm just kind of worried that she's not accepting me for me.

jimseekinadvice · Sep 18, 2009, 09:55 PM

Don't get abs just because she wants you to... if she told you she loves scars would you cut yourself? (bridge analogy way overused) haha.. but you get the point. First it will be abs, and then it will lead to more demands in the future.