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tryingtomakeit · Aug 18, 2009, 11:54 AM

Hi my situation is this; I left my husband 3 years ago for the second time due to a domestic violence issue. I moved to another state. We have never gotten divorced (been married now ~9.5 yrs). I have talked with an attorney and she quoted a price of 3000.00 which as a single mom I do not have. He has had health problems and applied for ssdi. He did include our daughter on the claim. I have never been to court about child support so he pays nothing. I hope he gets approved because at least this way I will get a little support. My question... do I qualify to receive benefits also (until she reaches the age of 16) I read about this on the ssdi website but it is confusing.

cdad · Aug 18, 2009, 01:50 PM

Im not sure what you read but it doesn't sound right. Your daughter might be eligible for benefits is about it. He will also have to meet the guidelines as far as past wages etc to qualify. Why are you still married ?

Justwantfair · Aug 18, 2009, 01:55 PM

Why have you never asked for support?
So now you let him off the hook for years of caring for his child, which could have kept you on your feet so that you wouldn't be telling us that as a single mother you can't afford an attorney.
As a single mother, you can not NOT afford to collect child support.
Spending all of this time away from him and not dealing with this three years ago could also have hurt your chances of protecting your child from a domestically violent person.

tryingtomakeit · Aug 19, 2009, 06:43 AM

I am still married for several reasons. Mainly because I dont/didnt have the money to get divorced. Another reason would be that I didn't want him to have any court ordered visitation rights (during our first separation I would take my daughter to visit her dad several times per month- when he wasn't on crack). I know I have made the wrong decisions in the past. People have told me that what I have done (or not done) was just plain stupidity, it is only now that I am believing it. I know that my daughter is the one who is suffering through this (doing without) while her mom works like a dog trying to take care of her. I left my husband initially when she was 8 months old... rented a small house, worked full time (day care expense) and went to school full time. Her father lived ~15 miles away and I would take her to visit him. Things started going down the drain when she was about 3 yrs old and we were facing eviction. When I went to her father for some help- he told me that the only way he would help was if we moved back in (as a family). Well I gave it another try and in 6 months he was at it again.. this time he seriously tried to kill me (tried lighting me on fire). The police were called and they suggested I leave and never come back (so I did). I moved over 1000 miles away this time and am trying to get things back together. I know I made the wrong decisions in many ways.