[inkgirl74]

Hi, I am really confused, I have been with my current boyfriend now just a few months short of 3 years.He suffer's from social anxiety and depression which has alway's been hard on our relationship.But in the past 6 months we decided to move in together after over two years of living apart.
So this past December 2008 I moved out of my apartment which I shared with my 12 year old daughter and he moved out of his apartment and we moved into a brand new townhouse. I told him from the get go that he had to be sure he could handle it because without him here I wouldn't be able to afford the new place alone, he assured me he wasn't going anywhere.
After 4 months of living together one night he picks this stupid fight with me and packs up and moves out (this is when I found out that he never gave up his old apartment and he had been paying the rent there too for the past 4 months) I was devastated, He still wanted to be together but didn't want to live together. I made a fool out of myself I begged and pleaded with him not to go, but he still did. At that point I figured he wasn't in love with me, or that maybe there was someone else. When I expressed these things to him he would just yell cuss and scream at me and call me insecure.
Plus after he left to move back there he turned into a real jerk.
I have had to be hospitalized a lot recently and he never comes with me to the hospital, he say's things like "If I come will it make the pain go away?" and everyone know's I just want him there for support because I'm still not sure what is wrong with me.
Well yesterday I went to the ER at 4am and I didn't call him because I knew he was probably sleeping and he wouldn't show anyway.
So finally about 3pm he text my cell phone I didn't answer because I wasn't able too because I was being worked on by the doctor in the hospital. Then afterwards I still didn't answer because I was just curious to see if he would pick up the phone and call me to see why I had not answered him, NOTHING he never called then 3 hours later he sends another text and say's "well i guess your not going to answer my text", I was still in the ER all together 18 hours I was there and he never picked up the phone to make sure something terrible had not happened to me.

So when I finally get released from hospital I text him and ask him why he never called he just starts fipping out on me. Accusing me of cheating and all kinds of crazy stuff, thank god I had taken pics with my cell phone for proof of where I had been.
So I send them and he doesn't even apologize to me for saying such horrible things.
So finally I call him, and I was so upset that the subject of him leaving me and my daughter and walking out on us came up and he had the nerve to say that He wasn't married to me and didn't have any kids by me so he didn't owe us anything.
I was crushed, why would he say such a thing. Specially when I have damn near supported his for almost 3 years? Even after he moved out on us?
What I want to know is where I should go from here, this is just one of many painful things he has said in the past 4 months since he moved out.
I don't know what my next move is , even after he has been such a jerk I still love him?
Please help me someone...

Devastated :(

[britEl]

Wow I'm very sorry to hear this. You do love him but you need to focus on you and your daughter's well being find an apartment that you can afford then start from there. This does not sound like a safe relationship, I know you say you love him but him acting this way isn't what people do to the ones they love. Don't let him blame his behavior on his social anxiety or depression either he is just trying to find an easy way out of a tough situation. If it were me I would get rid of him, he is doing you no good, him not even caring that you were in the hospital is ridiculous! Give him an ultimatum, tell him to shape up or ship out (get out of your life) because you can't be doing this back and forth forever.
Good Luck! :)

[inkgirl74]

wow im very sorry to hear this. You do love him but you need to focus on you and your daughter's well being find an apartment that you can afford then start from there. This does not sound like a safe relationship, i know you say you love him but him acting this way isn't what people do to the ones they love. Don't let him blame his behavior on his social anxiety or depression either he is just trying to find an easy way out of a tough situation. If it were me i would get rid of him, he is doing you no good, him not even caring that you were in the hospital is ridiculous! Give him an ultimatum, tell him to shape up or ship out (get out of your life) because you can't be doing this back and forth forever.
Good Luck! :)

Thank you for the advice, it really helped.That was what I was thinking all along but I am scared to start over and be alone.I even went as far as staying in Illinois to be here with him when the rest of my family moved out of state he and his illness have consumed my life so much that I lost all my friends as well, so I feel very alone right now and lost.But on the other hand I can't keep living like this.
Thnk you again I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else for it to really set in.

[britEl]

You are very welcome! Good luck and I hope everything turns out right for you :)!

[talaniman]

Whether your afraid of being alone, or not, there is no excuse to depend on a guy with all these issues, after what he has done. He left you high, and dry, and didn't support you when you needed it. Heck, I would rather be alone than with some one like him, and so should you.

You really do need to regroup, and lose this guy from your life permanently, as his personal issues are no excuse, for deceitful, bad behavior, at all.

Imagine what he has put your daughter through.