[adam_89]

If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Why do people call it an ATM, don't they know they're really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

If a man has no fingers, can he press charges?

If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come, in the Mini Wheat’s commercials, Sweets has a Brooklyn accent and Wheat’s has an English accent? They're attached at the back, wouldn't they have been raised in the same place?

Don’t you find it weird we teach our kids: scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub?

If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?

When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not!

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels?

Is extraordinary just more ordinary than usual?

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?

If Dracula has no reflection, why did he always had such a straight parting in his hair?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

[frostybabygurl]

Lmao

[HelpinHere]

Wooh, a third page of ponderz!
Still loving! There are a few repeats here, and more I've heard before, but still hilarious!

[artlady]

If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Yes of course :)
These were great ,some of the best yet!

[s_cianci]

If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?

Probably. What's worse, just how daring a robber, even if armed, would try to rob an establishment packed wall to wall with inebriated patrons?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

But the real point is, once you eat the cake, it's gone, so you can't still have (i.e. 'possess") it once you've eaten it.

Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?

I've always wondered about this one myself. Just goes to show what kind of semantical twists manufacturers will come up with in order to try to sell something, huh?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Sure. Isn't that how Quaker Oats found that mascot in the first place?

Why do people call it an ATM, don't they know they're really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

For the same reason they call it a "pizza pie." "Pizza" is Italian for "tomato pie" so they're really calling it a 'tomato pie pie."

If a man has no fingers, can he press charges?

Guess not.

If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?

Wow, what insight. And what a great way to weasel oneself out of something!

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

I guess that gives new meaning to the phrase "tourist trap."

How come, in the Mini Wheat’s commercials, Sweets has a Brooklyn accent and Wheat’s has an English accent? They're attached at the back, wouldn't they have been raised in the same place?

That one must've gone over my head ; I'll have to play closer attention next time.

Don’t you find it weird we teach our kids: scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub?

Scary, isn't it?

If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?

I think Will better change his name real fast!

When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not!

Of course not!

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

I point out the concept of an oxymoron.

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

I've always wondered about that one myself.

Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels?

I think it refers to when the head flips around and then under the heels

Is extraordinary just more ordinary than usual?

Semantically speaking, yes.

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Yeah, something like that.

Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?

For the same reason they put "Not for human consumption" on laundry detergent.

If Dracula has no reflection, why did he always had such a straight parting in his hair?

I think that answers its own question.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

I guess whoever wrote it was more interested in the bluetail fly.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

lmao!

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

It doesn't. But, how many words rhyme with "egg?"

If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

I don't know, ask the woman.

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

Hmmm.. just how would they be shaped?

[mudweiser]

Ha! Saw this on the web a long time ago.. still funny.

Sarah

[friend4u178]

Why do Kamikaze Pilots wear Helmuts?

Why is there an expiry date on Sour cream?

[HelpinHere]

Or, how do they train suicide bombers?

Hehe, :p

[Catsmine]

Or, how do they train suicide bombers?

hehe, :p

Be sure to apply with Homeland Security before you try to find out.

[adam_89]

Sorry some of them are repeats of some of the ones that were recently added before this one. I just thought you guys might enjoy these. A lot are hilarious. Some really don't make much sense.