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    passmeby's Avatar
    passmeby Posts: 473, Reputation: 11
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    #1

    Aug 14, 2009, 08:28 PM
    Coping with Disabilities, Inability to work
    Hi there! Here's my story... I had a back surgery, it never got totally better but I coped with it fairly well enough to push through and work as a bartender. I LOVED my job! I just recently had to quit because I have more back problems that are quite severe. I can barely move sometimes and I use a cane all the time now, so it is impossible to keep bartending :( I am having real issues coping with this. I have feelings of uselessness, but I try to balance that feeling with the fact that I do run my household, cook, clean, care for the kids, do all bills and accounting... everything! I'm a real CEO! So I am still doing great rewarding work, but I just feel so much like less of a person because I can't perform my job anymore. I grew up working all my life, I like working, I have great work ethic, I always go above and beyond expectations, I just LOVE working!

    Can anyone else who has lost a job because of disability relate and share stories and feelings, and how you coped? Right now I feeel alone, angry, useless, like people look down on me. Plus I loved my job so much, losing it was like losing a huge part of my life... so I feel intense loss. I miss all the great people I would talk to everyday, laugh, have fun. I don't drink so Im not too apt to go into the bar to visit so I feel like I'll probably never see any of these people again, which is sad. Also, sadly, I have a college education that I can't use because it's too physically demanding of a career. I was planning to go back to this work once my kids were both in school (I refuse to use daycare or sitters! ), but sadly this is no longer an option...

    Is there a book anyone can recommend about finding a new direction career-wise?

    I would love to find a job that I am capable of even with my disabilities-I can't sit, stand or walk for very long. Driving is difficult, but not impossible. My children would really prevent me from doing much work at home because they constantly bug me for one thing or another and I don't have a private room to use as an office. But I could do something from home later at night when they are in bed. I could only think of getting an education in accounting and try that, but I'm not really passionate for accounting, I do think I would be good at it though and just because it's not a passion, I think I could be happy with it. I actually do have great passion for helping people save money so maybe it could work for me. Maybe I could do simpler accounting for a while and become better and better and get more and more educated to ultimately become a financial consultant for people in financial crisis. That would be a dream job for me! But it would take years I imagine.

    Anyway, I really would like any recommendations on a book that might help me find a new direction, because I try to think, "what would I like to do" and really I'm not sure. I think part of my confusion stems from having to cope with my job loss, my thinking is a little clouded with all these feelings!

    If anyone has any stories of their own, I'd love to hear them! :) Thanks!
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Aug 15, 2009, 05:12 AM

    You can try this place
    They help you figure out what you want to do and help you know what steps you have to take and help with job placement

    Career-Boosting Resources | LGBT CareerLink
    passmeby's Avatar
    passmeby Posts: 473, Reputation: 11
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    #3

    Aug 15, 2009, 08:00 AM

    Whoa, that site is aimed at gay/lesbian stuff, that's nothing at all like what I am looking for! Thanks but no thanks.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #4

    Aug 15, 2009, 08:07 AM

    I saw one link to the gay/lesbian/transgender

    Did the government, networking, job hunting and careers links also focus on that?


    ***I checked again. Apparently they are not the same careerlink in my county.
    Check for career offices around where you live.

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