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tashie1245 · Aug 14, 2009, 03:37 PM

this is my situation... I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half we currently live in methuen Massachusetts with HIS parents. Together we have a 6 month old daughter. There is no set custody because we are together so there was no reason for which parent should have full custody. The past month or so my boyfriend has had some sketchy behavior and I don't want my daughter brought up in the environment we live in. at first it was OK cause I thought we would get an apartment together but now he doesn't want to and stuff so its complicated. I want to take my daughter and move completely away from him up to dover new hapshire to live with my family its about 30-45 minutes away from his house. Now I never told him that he wouldn't be able to see his daughter or anything like that but he always says if I cross over to New Hampshire with our daughter and I am going to move into my moms house that it would be considered kidnapping and I was wondering if that's true? There is no doubt in my mind that if we went to court that I would get custody anyway but id like to be friendly about it and not get the courts involved... so the question I am asking is... is it true that if I leave my boyfriend with our daughter and move away from him would it be considered kidnapping and I could be jailed for it?

N0help4u · Aug 14, 2009, 04:55 PM

With your other post I think you need to get out of the house go to a women's shelter or the Salvation Army and they can help you.
I know they both will help relocate people in really tough situations like yours. They can help you get a PFA and find a way to get you home without his being able to pull any stunts on you. You need to find back up like this because you can't do it on your own it may be too dangerous trying to break away without help.

J_9 · Aug 14, 2009, 04:59 PM

After reading this thread https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/addict...ne-386912.html

You need to get out as fast as possible and get as far away as possible. NoHelp's advise was right on target. A women's shelter will not only help to relocate you, but will help to keep you and your child safe.

stevetcg · Aug 15, 2009, 04:18 AM

Did he sign the acknoledgement of paternity along with the birth certificate when the child was born?

If not, he is not the legal father of the child yet and you can leave if you choose. In addition, the whole "cannot move" thing has nothing to do with actually moving but denying the other parent their *COURT ORDERED* visitation. Since you don't have anything ordered, you are free to do whatever you choose.

Be warned though, if he is the legal father and no custody order is completed through the court, he can go to Dover, take the child for visitation and not bring him back.

Furthermore... while there is a state line involved, Methuen sits on it and a move to Dover is hardly considered a long distance move. Chances are the judge commutes further than that to work every day.

Don't worry about the 'kidnapping' charge. He is full of S. I didn't read your other post, but trust J_9 and N0Help's advice that you should get out. MA is very good about these things.

Edit: furthermore, if he knows where you are, its not kidnapping. At worst, its contempt of court (violating a court order) but since there is no court order, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you leaving with your child.

ScottGem · Aug 15, 2009, 05:09 AM

First, please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Children forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature here.

Second, No you move would NOT be kidnapping. As long as you were to inform him where you are its not kidnapping.

Since there is no custody setup, the presumption is joint custody assuming he is listed as the legal parent (either on the birth certificate or signing an acknowledgment of paternity). In that case, he has an equal right to the child. But he would have to go to court to enforce that right.

I agree with the others that you need to get out NOW! You need to apply for full custody and for him to have no visitation or, at least supervised visitation.

N0help4u · Aug 15, 2009, 05:16 AM

Also if he is that threatening once you get away you need to get a Protection from Abuse order from the court and file for sole custody so he can not come after you and your baby.

He would need to go to court and file for joint custody. But with his abuse he probably would get supervised visits at the most.

tashie1245 · Aug 16, 2009, 05:13 PM

Thank u all... id like to get away but he won't leave me alone with my dfaughter until he goes back to work on the special needs busses when school starts.

N0help4u · Aug 16, 2009, 05:17 PM

Well when he goes you get out of Dodge!
If it is bad enough you need to leave before then call the police or do whatever you have to to go.