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lottiexox · Aug 15, 2009, 01:44 AM

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I have liked this guy called Jake* in one of my classes for a long time now, but since I'm so shy, and I have this annoying thing where my face goes red whenever he talks to me... I have never done anything about it.. except tell some of my closest friends I like him.. For a while, Jake made it quite obvious he liked me, which made me happy... BUT then one of my friends who I told I like Jake, has come along now and is flirting with him so much, which I am sad to say.. has turned hijm over to her. It is now obvious he likes my friend now, and not me. Please help!:(

How do I overcome shyness?
It is afffecting my social life with guys :(
(im 13 and most of my friends have a boyfriend... but I'm to shy to ask the one I like, if he likes me)
So, can I have advice on how to stop shyness?
Thank you!

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 15, 2009, 03:17 AM

You can't really do much about since you liked him and never told him. How is he supposed to know? If you like him, tell him and see where you stand with him. Your friend should respect boundaries. And one boundary I always set was not messing with any friends boyfriends/husbands/exes/crushes. BIG no-no.

none12345 · Aug 15, 2009, 06:39 AM

How can he like you if he doesn't even know you that well?

liz28 · Aug 15, 2009, 12:48 PM

She can't take away something that was never yours in the first place. I hope you learnt a lesson from this and that leson is that when you want something/someone you need to step before someone else does.

I know that it pisses you off because of what your friend did and I would be livid to but at the end of the day there are other guys out there.

liz28 · Aug 15, 2009, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

How can he like you if he doesn't even know you that well?

You can like someone without knowing that person. I would be more concern if she said she loved or he loved her without knowing a person that well.

s_cianci · Aug 15, 2009, 12:56 PM

As none and liz have pointed out, I think you've imputed way too much to Jake regarding any feelings for you. And as for that matter I think it's possible you're imputing too much regarding Jake's feelings for your friend. Don't make assumptions ; talk to people and find out firsthand what they're feeling.

none12345 · Aug 15, 2009, 12:57 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

You can like someone without knowing that person. I would be more concern if she said she loved or he loved her without knowing a person that well.

Yup. But there is more to like than just looks, a few conversations.

lottiexox · Aug 15, 2009, 02:53 PM

OK so bascially what you are all saying.. is that I should tell him how I feel about him... ok but it might help for you to know that I am a shy 13yr old :O... and yes, he has known me for ages... well, thanks anyway... ill try and overcome my shyness =)!!

N0help4u · Aug 15, 2009, 05:07 PM

Do you have any one in specific you are wanting to have as your boyfriend?

lottiexox · Aug 15, 2009, 05:17 PM

yeah I do actually =s

talaniman · Aug 15, 2009, 06:32 PM

Are you just shy around the guys, or is it a matter of being shy around everyone?

lottiexox · Aug 15, 2009, 06:35 PM

Just around guys I like...

N0help4u · Aug 15, 2009, 07:01 PM

If you have any friends that are friends with him then maybe you can ask them to ask him what he thinks of you or something

HelpinHere · Aug 15, 2009, 07:19 PM

I'm just wondering, what exactly do you think having a boyfriend means?
Because that definition, at age 13, in today's society, can drastically change what I would tell you.

lottiexox · Aug 15, 2009, 07:34 PM

Hving a boyfriend means, having someone that's committed to u, and only you. Its like meaning u both have feelings towards each other and want to have a relationship =)... and by the way, I seem to be the one answering questions... not u guys! Lol

HelpinHere · Aug 15, 2009, 07:40 PM

Well, that sounds all sappy and nice, but what would you do with a boyfriend that you wouldn't do with anyone else?

Yes, but there are two reasons behind this.
1: You didn't provide much information. The less you give us, the more we have to ask.
2: Dating at such a young age is a touchy subject, some members not even approving until 14, 15, or even until high school graduation.

So, until we learn what we need to know, we can't really help you effectively. :)

talaniman · Aug 15, 2009, 07:42 PM

You mean you're an official couple, like the other friends you have.

lottiexox · Aug 15, 2009, 07:42 PM

well with a boyfriend I would feel more confident around him and I would no that he likes me that way.. then I would be able to talk to him more freely and maybe give him the occasional hug or two =)

lottiexox · Aug 15, 2009, 07:43 PM

Yes... an official couple.. lol

HelpinHere · Aug 15, 2009, 07:56 PM

Okay, in that case:

First off, you have to KNOW he's avalilable. Kids your age will sometimes hide relationships, but either way, if he's already in a relationship, it's a no go.

Second, one tool I agree with using at your age is writing notes.
The classic "check yes or no" is cliché, but it always work. You don't even have to give it to him, just give it to a good friend who can give it to him for you. You do have to write it yourself though.
Another good tactic at your age is the "blind date break". Just have someone tell him "At break today, go to the drinking fountain by Mrs. Neals' class" or something, and you meet him there.