Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    atxbabe's Avatar
    atxbabe Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 14, 2009, 01:00 PM
    Am I just overreacting?
    I've been dating this guy for a few months and now I want to be in an actual relationship with him. He's great and his family is awesome! We spend A lot of time with each other like 4 times a week and we are good together. The problem is, he got out of a year and a half relationship 9 months ago and isn't ready to make another serious commitment right now. Not just that but he says he can't offer me anything right now because he's paying some stuff right now and is going to be broke for awhile and that he might be facing jail time and if that does happen he doesn't want to take me down with him. I want to be there for him and I honestly don't think it'll come down to him going to jail and I don't want to be with his money I want to be with him. Even if it did come down to that I will still be there for him, I'm with him all the way. I'm not just going to abandon him when things get tough... I know we've only been dating a few months but I know what it feels like to be in love. He's good to me and makes me happy... he says he doesn't want to lose me but I don't want to wait forever for him to be ready to commit. But I also don't want to lose him... I just don't want to get hurt if for some reason changes his mind about being with me later. What should I do? I'm really confused:confused:. Am I just overreacting?
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Aug 14, 2009, 02:30 PM

    Wait a minute! He is a great guy, but is facing jail time? For what sort of crime?
    He got out of a relationship nine months ago? That is too soon to be getting serious about somebody else. He is doing the right thing by telling you up from he is not ready to commit. He goofed up by actually dating again so soon after a break up. Back off and give him a chance to get his act straight.
    MissRissa's Avatar
    MissRissa Posts: 68, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Aug 14, 2009, 10:54 PM

    If he's not ready, then he's not ready. He needs time to get over his break up and rushing into a relationship with you could really ruin what you guys have. Just give him some time, he needs lots of it, and if you aren't willing to wait for him then you don't have to. You should move on if you don't want to wait.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Aug 15, 2009, 06:01 AM

    He is using his head about this.
    He may be going to jail so if he does
    You write him letters and get to know him better.
    Put a couple dollars on his books every now and then and if you are old enough and you can visit him like once a week (more or less).

    So basically spend this time getting to know him better and being a moral support for him now. Then when he is through the mess and it is all behind him you have already established a solid relationship and can build on it from there.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 15, 2009, 07:43 AM
    Wow, your willing to wait if he goes to jail, but you want him to commit after ONLY a few months of dating.

    How old are you, and what's your hurry?? He told you he doesn't want a relationship that you want, at this time, so why are you rushing him to it?

    Relax, and see how things develop without being pushy. He gave you fair, and honest warning, he isn't ready for what you want, right now.

    Are you dating exclusively yet?
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Aug 15, 2009, 07:58 AM

    isn't ready to make another serious commitment right now
    He is playing it safe and he has made his wishes clear.

    He has also given you other reasons that may or may not be honest but the bottom line is ,he has said no to a serious relationship.

    If you do not respect his wishes and try to force his hand ,you will just push him further away.

    Men do not like clingy or needy,it is a complete turn-off !

    Ask yourself ,why his commitment is so crucial for you.You can just enjoy time with someone without making them your entire life.

    Save yourself grief and accept what he has told you.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

I'm not sure if my boyfriend is over his ex or am I overreacting? [ 2 Answers ]

Me and this guy started dating for a month. Then, I went to study abroad for 4 months in another country, thinking it would end. But we talked a lot while I was over there and got more attached as we went, he was so sweet, caring and funny and we were calling each other bf/gf halfway through. This...

Am I overreacting? [ 3 Answers ]

I'm 13 (and a girl). I've been away from home for about 2 weeks and of course, haven't seen my best friend in that time (a little more than that, actually, since it's summer and we both have been kind of busy). I went over to her house just the other day though, and it was kind of awkward. We...

Am I overreacting? [ 2 Answers ]

OK so I still have major feelings for my ex. We broke up a couple months ago and since then we continued to stay in touch every now and then she would get all sentimental about our past. We still use our made up words with each other and I still call her by her pet name I had for her. But she has...

Am I overreacting? [ 21 Answers ]

Ok here's the deal. I asked my boyfriend to come hear me sing this Sunday. I knew he didn't really want to go, but the Saturday before he said that he would talk to me in the morning and tell me whether he was going. So Sunday morning comes and he doesn't call or text or anything. So I send him...

Am I overreacting [ 4 Answers ]

I have been dating this guy for about 5 years now.He was out of the country for 7 months for educational purposes last year. After he has come back things have changed in a way that now he is only focused on his career.he says that the relationship is a priority for him, but his career comes...


View more questions Search