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scotchtape · Oct 31, 2006, 01:18 PM

Okay. So, I'm in this relationship with someone who lives several states away from me. I've met up with him several times and those times have been great. But a lot of the time I'm not with him, I just feel sick to my stomach. I know it's because I miss him so much and just want to be with him, and I don't know if he feels the same way as me. I can't stop thinking about him and I feel upset when he doesn't call me. That's another thing - he used to call me all the time, but now not as much. Does that mean he's bored with me? He says he loves me, though; I hope it's true.

Is there any way that I get over this feeling? I know that it's not right to be so upset and it's definitely not good to be sick constantly because of not being able to be with him a lot, but that's how I feel. I need some help, guys.

diamonddave · Oct 31, 2006, 01:57 PM

10-31-06
1:50 PM:
Long Distance Feelings:
DiamondDave:
Sorry to hear that your having trouble.
Long distance relationships never work out unless the couple is willing to compromise.
Sounds like you have a John that doesn't want to compromise.
Maybe you need to rethink your attachment. Or rethink your residence. At least find out how he/she feels about you. If the feelings are mutual then you should talk about it all.
Moving into an intimate relationship takes years to develop.
Six months to understand if there's something there.
Then years (2) at least to figure out what will be.
So talk to the significant other in person and find out what's good for both of you.
Then plan to act on the goals that you set together.
If not move on and get healthy by self.
So your ready for the next one that comes along.
Dave:

Wildcat21 · Oct 31, 2006, 02:08 PM

Yeah - they are so hard because one person feels the way you do and the other doesn't so much. You probably are pushing him away. Smothering from a far.

Anyway - you need to be busy with other things - this person IS NOT YOUR LIFE - THEY ARE ONLY A SMALL PART OF IT. And that 10 times less in a LDR.

Trust is a HUGE issue and I bet you feel this way because right now you don't trust him.

I'd let it go - seriously. If he calls, he calls - if not - wasn't meant to be.

You have to live near each other at one point and doesn't sounf like you're close to that.

Go to this site and read ALL the free articles on LDR: www.lovetactics.com

talaniman · Oct 31, 2006, 02:46 PM

He is satisfied ,your not. Time for a face to face air clearing conversation about this relationship. Your sick because your not getting what you want so talk. The other posers have given you excellent advice and you should seriously consider it as to me you sound a bit obsessive and want more than this long distance relationship can handle.

Wildcat21 · Oct 31, 2006, 03:13 PM

Tal - once again - GREAT ADVICE!!

Yes, call him - clear the air completely. Be prepared for answers you might not like, but time to grow up and not be obsessive!

s_cianci · Oct 31, 2006, 04:29 PM

Long distance relationships are always difficult at best. Situations like these have to be approached very slowly and cautiously. Keep in mind that one of the things that may make him so attractive to you is the very fact that he's not readily available. We often want what we can't have and, when we can, it doesn't seem nearly so desirable. How well do you really know this person? Is he really someone you want to get serious with? I have a feeling that you haven't really examined these issues too closely. Get to know him better and give it the time it requires before getting your mind set on him and him alone.