[endlesslove]

I am in a new relationship less than two years. After I got pregnant I notice he didn't look at me the same. I have a 7 month old. And now he doesn't like to have sex at all. Why?

[jenniepepsi]

The most common issue is the infant hon. The baby takes a lot of both of your time. Exhastion will definitely cut back on his libido.

Not to mention, you 'just' had a baby. Granted 7 months ago, but he may still feel you are 'fragil' and 'breakable'

TALK TO HIM.

There is NOTHING that can be done or advised, without talking to him. Let him know that you want to have sex. Ask him why he does not want sex anymore.

Lets be honest here, MOST women ( I'm not saying you, so please specify if you do not fall into this category) after a baby, especially in the first year or two, sort of 'let themselves go' in all the hassle of caring for the baby. I know that when I had my baby girl, I didn't shower as often, I didn't care what my hair looked like (why should I, the baby doesn't care!) dressed in sweats and a teeshirt, rarely wore a bra (common, its easier to breastfeed without all that crap in the way) and who has TIME to put on make up and shave and all that good stuff when the baby is crying/hungry/wet/needing love.


Again, TAKL TO HIM. Tell him your feelings. Find a babysitter, and dress yourself up all nice and good for him and go out to dinner and a movie and get a hotel.

Good luck hon.

[xoxaprilwine]

I wanted to give you a greenie jen but I have to spread around some more greenies :D. I can sooo relate to what you said. I have a 6 month and honestly - if you want your man back sexually you should take care of yourself - bring back that sex appeal you have. Wear a dress and maybe put on some make up and find places to go out and do things. Just because you have a baby does not always mean you have to be at home either (or be available)... be interesting and get out of the house - do some mommy and baby classes (swimming or yoga), walking or going for coffee. Try to schedule your priories and that means time for you. Babies take a lot of time and energy but make sure you are taking care of you. Once you put yourself at the center of focus; he will notice.

[kp2171]

Stress is a major killer of libido... and even with all the joys of having a child, there are real stessors.

How is his sleep? Is he exercising? On any meds? How are things outside the bedroom... meaning financially, job, is he seeing friends, etc...

And what both great posts above said... finding time for you two to be together is tough to do, especially with such a young one.

The first "all night out" I had with my wife after my son was born we rented a motel room just 15 mintues from home. We talked about going out of town, there's are some great cities within 3-5 hours of ours to visit, but honestly... we just needed to be away from the pressures of being at home... and the lack of real, secure time together.

Guys are lousy about asking for help. I'm one of them. I think I should shoulder every hard thing and just deal with it... and often "dealing with it" means burying it and toughing it out.

That doesn't work.

So... there are real and legitimate stessors in your life that can attribute to a lower sex drive. Personally, when my son was about 5 months old, not only did my drive drop, but I fell into a depression. New life, new home, new bills, new job pressures...

I didn't want her any less... but I was mentally and physically wrong.

If I want my lover to have the best sexual experience possible I want her to be mentally and physically in the moment. There are a lot of things that can tie into this. She might need security and privacy. She might need to be physically relaxed by a hot bath or massage or simple sensual touch.

I don't like to generalize, but I'm going to. Even though guys are often ready faster, without foreplay or sensitization or whatever... some of the same issues that can affect a woman can affect a man.

Perhaps focus less right now on sex and more on taking a little time for sensual touch, or simply being close, without sex being intended...

I know you have needs. He should be willing to talk to you about these and be willing to help you. Being stressed doesn't give him a "free pass" to neglect you.

Trust that with time, patience, and talking you can get through this. I'm afraid you might be the one that has to initiate some of this... like the date night out... men are lousy at this when they "arent right"... we just don't seek out help for the most part.

So try some little steps. Believe that his lack of drive is simply situational. It IS a stressful time. His feelings are not the same as his beliefs.

He can feel lower libido right now but love you more than ever.