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sidekick · Aug 8, 2009, 07:45 AM

Hi I'm 20 this year.. my boyfriend's parents hate me and told him to break up with me, because they found out that we had sex, his mum saw the messages in his phone. We've been go through so much, I don't want to let this go.. for now, we are pretending that we've broke up..

amicon · Aug 8, 2009, 08:06 AM

Hi how old is your boyfriend? And why do they hate you?can I have some more info please?

artlady · Aug 8, 2009, 08:48 AM

You are an adult and I am assuming he is at least 18 and therefore an adult as well.
There isn't much you can do to repair the damage but if he is living with his parents he is obligated to live by their standards and that includes standards of morality.
This is not an issue for you to try to repair, this is strictly between him and his parents.
If he does not like their rules then he should tell them how he feels.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 8, 2009, 08:52 AM

Your boyfriend is a adult at 20, so assuming you are a adult also, he can just tell them NO, and tell them he can date who he wants.

amicon · Aug 8, 2009, 09:03 AM

I agree.he s an adult and must make his own mind up here.

talaniman · Aug 8, 2009, 09:44 AM

Don't tell them your dating, or having sex. You guys are old enough to have your own privacy, and space. But he has to live by the rules of the house, since he is still there, and you should respect his position, and not make waves.

sidekick · Aug 10, 2009, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by amicon

hi how old is your bf? And why do they hate you?can i have some more info please?

Hey sidekick here, the reason they hate because they found out we had sex,we r both 20, and to add I'm a muslim

sidekick · Aug 10, 2009, 08:50 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Don't tell them your dating, or having sex. You guys are old enough to have your own privacy, and space. But he has to live by the rules of the house, since he is still there, and you should respect his position, and not make waves.

We didn't want them to know about us, but his mum read his text in his mobile then they get to know, ohya, his mum call me up and she said she wants to talk to me and my boyfriend, because I told her I don't want to let go this relationship, and she was not happy with me as in the text I call my boyfriend names because I was angry as he lied to me and I'm the kind of person who get angry easily. I feel suck but I manage to tell her truth and I hope things can work out right , thanks for the opinions and advice.:)

sidekick · Aug 10, 2009, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

You are an adult and I am assuming he is at least 18 and therefore an adult as well.
There isn't much you can do to repair the damage but if he is living with his parents he is obligated to live by their standards and that includes standards of morality.
This is not an issue for you to try to repair,,this is strictly between him and his parents.
If he does not like their rules then he should tell them how he feels.

Yea true! I told him that he should voice out, but he's afraid to say to his parents,I told him its not being rude its just letting them know how he feels. Thanks niwae :)

sidekick · Aug 10, 2009, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Your boyfriend is a adult at 20, so assuming you are a adult also, he can just tell them NO, and tell them he can date who he wants.

You but he's afraid that his parents will say he is rude

sidekick · Aug 10, 2009, 08:55 PM

Hey guys, I thought that they will no reply on this, I thank you guys so much, and I'm meeting my boyfriend's mum, I hope everything will go fine, wish me luck!

jenniepepsi · Aug 10, 2009, 09:00 PM

Unfortunately hon, with some inlaws (or boyfriends parents) some times they just won't like you. And they will search and search until they find SOME reason to hate you.

Absolutely respect their home, as he lives there. However, as an adult, they have no bearing over where he goes, what he does, or who he sees.

Its up to you. My husbands whole family hates me simply because I am not mexican and I have a daughter from a previous relationship. (which by the way I don't buy, because his mother remarried after her kids dad died, and insisted her new husband accept her children... so a little bit of hypocrosy there... )

In the end, if he loves you enough to ignore his parents, you both may have to grit your teeth and accept it. :( my family (husband daughter and myself) has NO contact with his family anymore :( its so sad, but it's the only way we could be happy as a family and as a couple.

Good luck hon

sidekick · Aug 16, 2009, 03:08 AM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

unfortunately hon, with some inlaws (or boyfriends parents) some times they just wont like you. and they will search and search untill they find SOME reason to hate you.

absolutely respect thier home, as he lives there. however, as an adult, they have no bearing over where he goes, what he does, or who he sees.

its up to you. my husbands whole family hates me simply because i am not mexican and i have a daughter from a previous relationship. (which by the way i dont buy, because his mother remarried after her kids dad died, and insisted her new husband accept her children...so a little bit of hypocrosy there...)

in the end, if he loves you enough to ignore his parents, you both may have to grit your teeth and accept it. :( my family (husband daughter and myself) has NO contact with his family anymore :( its so sad, but its the only way we could be happy as a family and as a couple.

good luck hon

:) thanks!. im sorry for you but I'm glad that you're happy as a family now :D thanks for the advise, now I know what to do ;)

jenniepepsi · Aug 16, 2009, 10:26 AM

Good luck hon :D *hugs*