[bjohnrupp]

My fiancé has been wanting a baby and has stopped taking birth control shortly after we met. I'd love to have a baby now. Should we wait until we get married or is it more accepted now a days to have a baby before you get married?

[Alty]

I'd wait until you're married. What's the hurry?

[puppydoggie]

Its acceptable but when will you find the time to get married after you have a baby

[Alty]

its acceptable but when will you find the time to get married after you have a baby

It's more accepted then it is acceptable.

Sadly, in today's society, unwed parents have become the norm, the majority. Because of this, society as a whole has accepted unwed parents.

I have two kids, both conceived and born after marriage. They're both in school. My son came home one day and asked why he's one of the only kids that has two parents, living together, with the same last name. He's in the minority, it's sad.

I just don't understand what the rush is. Why not get married and then have children?

[mudweiser]

I don't think there is a problem with having a baby before getting married. There are more important things to consider, like:

•Do you BOTH want to have this baby?
•Are you both financially prepared to have a child?
•Are you on the same page when it comes to parenting- or made compromises?
•Are you both mentally prepared for a child? Babies aren't always cooing- they CAN add stress to your life.
•Is this a way to "save" your relationship: if so STOP. Babies do NOT help or "save" anything.
•Are you both at a decent age? If your 16 and engaged then FORGET about the baby- your still a baby yourself.

I'm sure there are more things to be prepared for when it comes to having a baby, such as: being ready physically and health wise, are you able to purchase all the babies needs [crib, bath tub, towels, etc], would this decision go against your religious beliefs, would your families approve- would this cause friction with your families?.

If your in the clear then I say go ahead- a piece of paper shouldn't tell you whether to have a child.

That's just my opinion..

Sarah

[LearningAsIGo]

Socially acceptable? Doubtful. More common? Sure.

Despite all of that, decide for yourself. What type of home and family would you want to bring your baby into?

[HotPotato2009]

I would wait until after marriage (that's what I would do). It just seems like a better idea to me.

[duhitstaken]

I think with the divorce (and separation rate with unmarried couples with children) in today's society it is best to wait to bring a child into the world until you know for sure that this is the person you want to spend eternity with. Get to know each other, enjoy each other, get married and enjoy the thrills of marriage without a child and then when something is missing a child is a wonderful way to fill in that emptyness. Marriage has so many challenges adding children to the mix just adds more challenges. I think it is important to work out those challenges of marriage without children first (if that is still an option) It will help a lot in raising that child if you love and enjoy each other FIRST.

[talaniman]

Bringing a child into a happy healthy caring environment is the important thing, not a piece of paper, or tradition. But health insurance sure can save you some money, for all those diapers and formula you will need.

If your relationship is stable, and committed, is the thing to know before you start making babies.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ak-383898.html

Seems you have issues.

[mary79]

Well so much is accepted in society these days. I am an unwed parent myself. I do feel though that I should have waited. Maybe if I had children with someone who loved me enough to marry me, maybe things wouldn't be the way they are today. I say it is totally up to you. I support being married before having children, not for judgemental or religious purposes, but for the child. Mom and Dad being married is a great example. Maybe they'll follow your footsteps. Best Wishes

[JudyKayTee]

You want to have a baby and she wants to take a break from the relationship?

I'd put the baby idea on hold.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post1905491