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Darksubaru · Jul 30, 2009, 01:05 AM

My ex girlfriend and I are both 24 and were together for almost 5 years.

I wanted to see if it is strange that she had basically no sex drive whatsoever? In those 5 years, we had sex less than 100 times, probably less than like 70...

She had a very hard time talking about it, I always had to initiate, we never made out when we did it, and she always had excuses as to why she didn't want to open her mouth, like she had a soar-throat or her nose was stuffy... but, even when we did it, I was always on top and she never seemed like she enjoyed it, made noises, she NEVER even really moved, she basically just laid there.

It really bothered me and I tried making her understand that I wanted her to enjoy it too, she said she did emotionally, but it hurts sometimes.

She did go to a doctor and talk about it, but whenever we talked, she always just said she is working on it.

Yeah, so... basically I felt like it really sucked.

Does any of this seem normal? Am I way off base by thinking now that she is gone, that she is a completely different person and is probably having sex with this new guy? :(

kctiger · Jul 30, 2009, 05:51 AM

I would have to say you are jumping gun to assume she is having sex with someone else. If she has been like this for all five years, what "new guy" would she be having sex with... your post is a bit confusing. Has she always been like this? Elaborate a bit, and what other guy do you refer to?

jmjoseph · Jul 30, 2009, 06:00 AM

Some people are just cold, and frigid-like when it comes to sex. I've come across women like her, and have been bored with the experience. There's nothing worse than a lazy lover. Maybe she just din't enjoy sex, as it sounds that way to me.

Oh well, chalk it up to experience, and move forward.

Darksubaru · Jul 30, 2009, 12:18 PM

Kc, she broke up with me about a month-month and a half ago, and is already with a new boyfriend... and for some reason I don't like the idea that she might be already having sex with him, when it was apparently so difficult and unenjoyable with me... but, even further, she would say that she just didn't have a sex drive and even talked to doctor's about it.

Yes, she has always been like this... throughout our 5 years, but for some reason I am afraid she became a completely different person with him and is now having sex with him... I know it shouldn't make a difference because she is gone... it is just a terrible feeling.

spitvenom · Jul 30, 2009, 12:34 PM

I read your other post about how when you stopped getting her coach and Tiffany she stopped liking you. So she is probably using some other guy and he is now having really boring unsatisfying sex. She isn't a different person you yourself said she was the same way for 5 years. Don't torture yourself like this.

kochi · Jul 30, 2009, 03:43 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...on-381690.html

Please read this.

N0help4u · Jul 30, 2009, 03:53 PM

You can't worry about who she is or how she is or what she is or anything now. You have to get over her and move on with YOU.

Read the above link (kochi's) It does say a lot about putting your heart into someone only to find them dump you.

People relate to people differently in many relationships. I know I had a couple of bf's that I didn't want them to so much as put their hands on me. Yet other guys I was crazy about. I think something was telling me the relationship with the others just wasn't right.

You can't think of what she is doing now she is your ex. Who knows if she is messing with this guy more or if she just has some sexual problems that holds her back from any guy.

tedola · Jul 31, 2009, 02:24 AM

Im only new here and have been through something similar to yourself and to be honest I do agree with the others postings here. Consider the fact that you both stayed together for five YEARS! Not five minutes not five days.Years my good man. Clearly you meant a lot to her and she evidently meant a lot to you if you feel this way. It appears obvious to a humble outsider that she had problems in that department of sex drive. I strongly doubt it had anything to do with you even in the slightest capacity! And has been said before I suspect if she was having sex with someone(unlikely) its probably as crap if not worse than when she was with you.Furthermore I suspect this new guy is asking himself the same question.