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mrshull2002 · Oct 27, 2006, 08:28 AM

I'm writing for my daughter who is 17 yrs. Old and 9 months pregnant. She was 16 when she conceived and the father of the child is now 20 (19 at conception). She was living with her father at the time 6 hours away from me. She left my home because my husband and I forbid her relationship with the baby's father because he was very manipulative/abusive/and a drug user. While at her dads, she began using drugs/skipping school/and partying. Anyway to make a long story short, her father brought her to see the boy and she got pregnant. Upon learning of this pregnancy, she moved home with me and her stepfather. The boy went to basic training and soon after for the Reserves. The entire time he was gone, he sent her $440. That's been it. So far we have spent in access of $10K! My daughter has received her GED and has renewed her relationship with the Lord. His family has done nothing but harrass my daughter. He returned in August, and 2 days later he was back to drinking and smoking marijuana. My daughter broke off the relationship the day after (at 7 months pregnant) he forced her to have sex in the front seat of a car. This is how he respects her. Since this time, the boy has had 3 g/fs, had his Jeep repo'd, got kicked out of his home, lost his job, and threatened my daughter. We have a no trespass notice on him/and his mom. We also have security measures at the hospital to keep him away. His father is in jail for 22 years for molesting the boy's sister and the mom is Psychotic. How do we legally keep him from having anything to do with this baby girl? This boy is a deviant. He engaged in a sexual act with another boy to see a 14 yr old girls breasts at a party and too many other things to list. We are honestly afraid that he would harm our grandchild. We informed him that he would have to have a dna test, but if that comes back positive, what can we do? At this point I would move to Egypt to make sure this baby is safe. Please help!

Sentra · Oct 27, 2006, 10:30 AM

I say you and your daughter have every right to make him sign over his rights, but that's my opinion.

http://patriot.net/~crouch/familylaw/custody.htm

mrshull2002 · Oct 27, 2006, 01:27 PM

Thanks, we want to, but his mother is pushing him to see the baby. If it wasn't for her, he would go away. He doesn't want to be a father. It would cost him too much time.

Sentra · Oct 27, 2006, 02:43 PM

Legally, whether he wants to see the baby or not he should spend the next 18 years making his wallet understand the consequences of intercourse. And he's military?

A paternity test will nip that right in the bud; the military will pay him more for having a biological dependent (and if the reasons for his mother's pushing are financial on his part, oh please). It is kiiiiiind of a noble action that his mother is making him stay in the baby's life, but for him it may create nothing but resentment.

So I suggest that you get in touch with a lawyer, inform them of his record and see if there is anything that can be done. Is there a restraining order on him for all of his wrongdoings against her?

s_cianci · Oct 28, 2006, 09:50 AM

Your daughter can always not have the DNA test done. That means no child support from the father. But, if he petitions the court for an adjudication of paternity then she may have to submit to a DNA test. If the result is positive, then an order for child support will be entered and he will probably petition the court for visitation rights. At that point is when the legal battles begin. You'll have to present evidence that the father is a potential danger to the child. He probably won't be totally denied visitation but the judge could order a limited amount of supervised visitation and could order him into various self-help programs such as anger management, 12-step, etc. You may want to petition the court to order these should he try to get a judgment for visitation rights. A lawyer can help you tremendously with this. Right now, since no petitions have been yet filed (at least none that you've mentioned), you're in kind of a holding pattern of wait-and-see. If you really don't care about ever receiving child support from him and you truly feel that, as a father, he'd do the child more harm than good, then that can be your ace in the hole, to remind him that, as long as no DNA test is done and that he's not ever proven to be the father, he won't have to pay child support.

s_cianci · Oct 28, 2006, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by Sentra

I say you and your daughter have every right to make him sign over his rights, but thats my opinion.

http://patriot.net/~crouch/familylaw/custody.htm

I'm not sure that she can legally "make him sign over his rights." And it's not likely that any judge would ever totally strip him of his rights. Severely limit them perhaps, but not totally strip them away. Now if another man (for example, a new husband) wanted to adopt the child and the father gives consent, that's a different issue.

Jen8446 · Nov 1, 2006, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by mrshull2002

I'm writing for my daughter who is 17 yrs. old and 9 months pregnant. She was 16 when she conceived and the father of the child is now 20 (19 at conception). She was living with her father at the time 6 hours away from me. She left my home because my husband and I forbid her relationship with the baby's father because he was very manipulative/abusive/and a drug user. While at her dads, she began using drugs/skipping school/and partying. Anyway to make a long story short, her father brought her to see the boy and she got pregnant. Upon learning of this pregnancy, she moved home with me and her stepfather. The boy went to basic training and soon after for the Reserves. The entire time he was gone, he sent her $440. That's been it. So far we have spent in access of $10K! My daughter has received her GED and has renewed her relationship with the Lord. His family has done nothing but harrass my daughter. He returned in August, and 2 days later he was back to drinking and smoking marijuana. My daughter broke off the relationship the day after (at 7 months pregnant) he forced her to have sex in the front seat of a car. This is how he respects her. Since this time, the boy has had 3 g/fs, had his Jeep repo'd, got kicked out of his home, lost his job, and threatened my daughter. We have a no trespass notice on him/and his mom. We also have security measures at the hospital to keep him away. His father is in jail for 22 years for molesting the boy's sister and the mom is Psychotic. How do we legally keep him from having anything to do with this baby girl? This boy is a deviant. He engaged in a sexual act with another boy to see a 14 yr old girls breasts at a party and too many other things to list. We are honestly afraid that he would harm our grandchild. We informed him that he would have to have a dna test, but if that comes back positive, what can we do? At this point I would move to Egypt to make sure this baby is safe. Please help!

I don't think that you can keep him from seeing the baby, unless you can prove to the court that he's a danger to the baby. Were there any police reports for the things he's done? If there is, you can use them in court to show what kind of a psycho he is, along with the fact that his father is in prison for molestation. It's hard to do, but it's worth a try. I would definitely do it, the baby is obviously not going to be safe with him. If you can't keep him from seeing him, make sure that he only gets supervised visitation. A child and family services worker will be there watching while he gets his visits.

sexyladyp · Nov 2, 2006, 02:06 PM

Well its not really fair because he as already hurt your daughter you have got every right to be scared of him hurting your grandchild. But at the end of the day if he is the dad you can't keep him a way

heather83 · Feb 28, 2007, 03:23 PM

I think in some places his being 18 and her being 16 at the time may count as statutory rape, and if he is in the military, that's a HUGE no no and he could get court marshalled for it and as a minimum go to jail for 30 days. If he's abusive and harassing your daughter, I would get a restraining order against him. Regardless of if he's the father, that behavior is simply unacceptable.

airbats-goku · Mar 4, 2007, 10:02 PM

Get the courts involved now before irreparable harm can be done to both children in question. If his mother is being a problem to your family then look at getting a restraining order issued against her. Kudos on your unconditional support of your daughter and her baby! Many parents these days would not. You are a true mom!