[Pankeki]

Well, first of all. Hello and thank you in advance if you do reply.

I've needed help with this for almost seven months now. And I finally decided to ask somebody other than my dumb friends.

For the first two months of my relationship with my boyfriend everything was perfect. He acted like he didn't care about "the one ex" and only mentioned in passing that he had been cheated on a lot. I didn't mind. It was fine. I knew he had other girlfriends and it didn't bother me until after we had sex for the first time. I was a virgin. And got scared out of my skin when he hardly touched me for two weeks afterward.

And suddenly out of nowhere, he starts mentioning his one ex. Andrea. How she was so amazing and had all these corsets and was perfect in every way. The only bad he ever said of her was how she cheated on him. And I immediately started to feel horribly about myself. He had "gotten her pregnant, but it was okay cause she miscarried." I got him to shut up about her by telling him that if he didn't, I was going to leave him.

And one day I turned his computer screen on to find his email open.. To an email he sent begging her to take him back. Just a week after I lost my virginity to him. And stupidly, I read it. I didn't compare was what it basically said. I became very depressed and standoffish but he's still with me a year after I read it. And I don't want to leave him. He's sweet and caring. When he accidentally hurts me he just about cries. And I know he's not just with me until somebody else comes along or she takes him back. We're going to move in together soon.

But I don't exactly know how to get over this. Not the fact that he was in love with her, but the hurt. I still hurt and am afraid I'll never compare. That I'll never be better than her. He has promised me it's all over and he doesn't talk to her or look for her on the internet anymore. I am apparently the most amazing girl he's ever had. But the issue still remains.

I would just like your thoughts on the matter. I can't get over it on my own apparently. And I don't want it to ruin my relationship. He's much better now. And he hates himself for hurting me.

Thank you for your help.

[mudweiser]

In my opinion this boy wants out.

I don't understand why you want to be with him. He was looking to leave you for his ex. She's still "perfect" whether she cheated or not.

I believe this boy feels stuck. He doesn't want to leave you hurt but he's hurting just being with you.

Sarah